Nancy Botwin — After Andy left, she married the rabbi she met in the final season (he would later die in a car accident). She and Silas, along with Conrad and some more people from their suburban past, grew their pot-selling dispensaries into a franchise. In the finale, Nancy has to weigh whether or not to sell it to Starbucks and retire with enough money for 10 lifetimes. She eventually does agree to sell, making her, Silas, Conrad and Guillermo very rich people.
Andy Botwin — After Andy left Nancy, he moved away and into his father’s old house. He found suburban happiness, opened a restaurant, made a baby with a waitress friend, and became a loving, drama-free father. Nancy attempted to persuade Andy to come back — offering him her entire business — but Andy declined. It was heartening to see that Andy finally got out of that poisonous, destructive relationship for good.
Silas Botwin — Remember Megan Graves, the deaf girl that Silas purposely impregnated back in season two by poking a hole in his condom in an effort to keep her from dumping him? Well, at the end of the penultimate episode, he had a chance encounter with her. Now, they’re married, they have a baby, and they lead a happy life together.
Shane Botwin — Poor Shane. The troubled kid ended up with the worst ending. He got in with the wrong people on the police force (specifically Detective Ouellette), ended up dating some floozy (played by real-life drug addict, Natasha Lyonne), and turned to drugs. He’s bitter because he’s poor while the rest of his family is super wealthy. In the finale, Nancy convinced Shane to enter rehab and get his life together.
Doug Wilson — Doug became a very wealthy cult leader with a harem of women, a huge following, and a tour bus. In the finale, he also made amends with his estranged and gay son, Josh (Shameless’ Justin Chatwin), who hasn’t been seen since the pilot episode of Weeds.
Dean Hodes — Dean was in the finale, too, but mostly he was there to bring us the news that his lesbian daughter, Isabal, is now his son, Bob, and he’s in construction. No mention was made of Celia.
Little Stevie — Stevie found out from Guillermo that his real father was a gangster, which he proudly revealed during a bah mitvah speech in which he also revealed that he refused to declare a religious allegiance. Nancy also granted him his wish to go off to boarding school and find himself.
The episode ended with this lingering image, of the five major players sitting on the porch, smoking a joint and laughing together.
And if you’re curious, the final episode also began with the original “Little Boxes.” However, of all the versions from the show, my favorite was Steve Martin and Kevin Nealon’s version.
I want more like this!
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