NFL Games (Sunday, various times) — The Cowboys/Giants game was a (boring) tease, but this is the real deal, the only weekend of the year that you can convince yourself that your team will win the “Big Game.” Steelers at Broncos is the Sunday night game on NBC, and the other prime matchups include Redskins at Saints, 49ers at Packers, and Panthers at Bucs. What? It’s a highlight for me, Maske, and Patty Boots.
Stand Up to Cancer (Various networks, Friday, 8 p.m.) — It’s not cool that Stand Up to Cancer is leaving out the Stephen Hawkings of the world, but because they’re doing a good thing — raising money to find a cure for cancer — we’ll let it go. Taylor Swift, Coldplay, and Alicia Keys are scheduled to perform.
College Football: Purdue at Notre Dame (NBC, Saturday, 3:30 p.m.) — Oh, Notre Dame, you have no idea how happy it makes me that you haven’t won a national championship since 1988, yet still pretend you’re a powerhouse. You really are the NBC of college football teams.
When Surgical Tools Get Left Behind (Discovery, Saturday, 8 p.m.) — That is the greatest premise of a show ever. TLC is SO pissed they didn’t think of it first. Even better, it’s followed by — I sh*t you not — the premiere of I Was Impaled.
Doctor Who (BBC America, Saturday, 9 p.m.) — I’m so proud of the 85% of you who voted for Amy over Rose. See, democracy isn’t necessarily a sham. As for the 63% who picked Winona over Ava, which is very wrong, something something hanging chad joke.
Weeds (Showtime, Sunday, 10 p.m.) — Yup, still on.