
AMC kicked off season three of The Walking Dead in truly spectacular fashion last night. I’ll be your guide through season three of The Walking Dead this year, and — DISCLAIMER — I have not read the graphic novels, so I will not be lording any future knowledge over your heads. I would also appreciate it immensely if those who have read the graphic novels would not spoil any upcoming events. If you really MUST discuss future turns from the novels, please use very BIG, very BOLD SPOILER warnings. Failure to do so will earn you the Jackass Badge.
With that, let’s get to it:
1. Carl Is No Longer The Worst — Puberty has been good to Carl. He didn’t get lost once over the entire episode. He’s got a silencer. He’s a good shot. The little sh*t is finally useful, although he really shouldn’t get any ideas about Beth. I don’t care how good her singing voice is.

2. Lori Is Still The Worst — A few months have passed since we last left off. The crew somehow survived the winter by running from place to place. In the meantime, Lori has become the least convincing pregnant woman in television history. What the hell did they put under her shirt?

The good news is, we may have a Baby Renesmee situation in our future: Will Lori’s baby be a Walker or a Crawler? Will the baby eat its way out of Lori? Will Lori turn walker and eat her own baby? These are exciting possibilities, people.
3. The Ricktocracy Is Working — Over the winter, and since the death of Shane, it seems that Rick has earned the begrudging respect of the rest of the crew by keeping them on the run, and by keeping them alive. His relationship with Lori, however, remains frosty. Rick can sure kill a zombie, though. This kill got three Hell Yeahs!


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Great episode.
How to the hell do I unlock the damn b’s?
rick is a killer whether he likes it or now
Lori is the worst, but maybe thats on purpose? Like she has survived basically on the kindness of strangers.
Hershel’s leg was amputated to reduce the chance that he would face the fever and death as a result of the bite. The bite is not what turns people, but rather the death as a result of being bit by a contaminated mouth that causes infection and fever which kills the victim which kick starts the reanimation causing the victim to become a walker. The mouths of zombies I am assuming is very unclean as they are constantly biting people and eating dead flesh so naturally their mouths will cause infection and a nasty wound, all viruses aside. So therefore, by removing Hershel’s leg and the disgusting infected bite, they have a greater chance of saving his life as a clean wound is easier to heal and that lessens the chance of Hershel experiencing a fever and infection which could kill him. Obviously if Hershel dies he will still turn as a result of already being a carrier prior to being bitten.
This is a very well thought out, sensible argument…WHO THE HELL LET YOU IN HERE?
Why didn’t they just make a bunch of noise at the entrance to the labyrinth? Then the zombies would be narrowed down and there’d be more space to fight them.
Okay, I’m no doctor, but to try and answer the Herschel Leg amputation question. How about the difference between HIV and AIDS, or that the virus is dormant until triggered by a bite or scratch. I too look forward to peg leg Herschel
Carl was pretty badass and why wouldn’t he try and hit on Beth, she’s the closest to his age and not decomposing.
And Maggie is smokin’.
I’m I the only one who thought that Carl getting one shot, one head shot kill, with that pistol at about 100 feet distance was kind of ambitious? (not to say ridiculous, but I can accept a little “magic” in a zombie series). Also, the gun actions look like shit. No recoil, a CGI muzzle flash and Carl could have yelled “bang! bang! bang!” it would’ve been more realistic.
What did Daryl say to Carol in response to when she said “if I didn’t bring you anything you wouldn’t eat at all”? Something about Shane, but I couldn’t make it out.
The Hershel scene was freaking awesome. I hope they shove part of a broom stick in the wound so he can walk around like a pirate.
Bahaha! THIS. This has to happen.
I like the “This is Maggie in real life” comment followed by a black and white, photoshopped modeling picture with make-up and lighting up the wazoo…yeah…”real life”…that how modeling photography works…
Maggie’s been hot since her first appearance, so seeing her killing these zombies was a sweet bonus. Glad she’s getting the hot-chick spotlight now. I think her and Glen are the only couple I care to see live through this all. I also wondered about Hershel’s leg, I’m not really sure Rick is qualified to explain why that would actually work.
I made an Obama “not bad” face watching Carl shoot. Lori’s still the fucking worst.
Anyone remember the book ‘Hatchet’? Loved that one growing up.
Great episode! hope it sets the tone for the rest of the year. It would’nt take much to top season 2.
You can call me superficial, but my biggest issue with Carol is her damn hair. And I often like short hair on women….
Some guys don’t like pixie cuts. As a girl with a pixie cut, I can tell you that getting a shoulder rub from Norman Reedus is on my bucket list.
Wow…sure pissed im locked into my dish network contract..
Am I the only one who wondered why cutting H’s leg off with a hatchet was somehow going to ‘save him’? I mean… if everyone is infected, if it was a bite and it’s in the blood stream now… WTH? Won’t he still have to fight off the zombie ‘virus’ from the zombie-blood-spattered hatchet the way he would from a bite? Unless zombies have fangs and venom or something… the hatchet was the same as a bite, right?
I read that the hatchet they used was actually from the medical bag that Herschel was carrying. So it was clean ( or at least wasn’t used to kill a zombie)
Do bites even really matter anymore? Do bites do something to expedite the death process? Extra “venom” or whatever causing the stop of blood circulation? I don’t have the slightest idea.
Either way, Herschel’s fucked.
I thought the same thing, he was bit, and since they don’t actually ever identify exactly how this virus works (They are all infected…okay, so? Is it killing them slowly or what? If it’s staying dormant, then why?) I’d think the bacteria from the dirty zombie saliva would get into the blood in the leg, but I’m not sure chopping a leg off even that fast would prevent it from moving through the bloodstream- I have no idea how fast blood pumps. Even so, if he’s infected like Rick and crew, what’s that mean? I’m sure we’ll all find out, but it did make the act seem kinda pointless. But I’ve wondered how they are all infected, does that mean it’s an airborne disease that gets ignited from the bacteria in a bite?
Great first episode. I have some hopes that this season may start to redeem the nonsense that came before it.
Yeah, I really don’t understand why the costume designers decided they needed to put a mini-fridge in Lori’s dress to convey late term pregnancy.
I finally feel vindicated for never hating Carl.
YES, this. I could see him evolving as a character, but was terribly afraid the ‘where’s carl’ thing would get out of hand and the fans would begin to ruin the character more than the actor/plot could.
To be fair, he didn’t evolve so much as get replaced by a badass, physically identical new character between seasons, but I’m on board.
Most overrated show on TV. Sorry.
Thanks for apologizing. But wouldn’t it have been easier to just shut up and not be a douche in the first place?
Apparently it’s not enough for failed writers/producers/directors/waiters to be pretentious, boring and useless on their own blogs, they gotta try to be the center off attention on the good blogs, too.
I guess I am confused as to how you could assert that, it is a show that is both critically and financially successful. That means it draws in a lot of viewers, fans of the show (which are numerous) all support it, and call it out when it falls on it;s face and applaud it when it succeeds. Are you here to tell us you are the only person who actually gets it? You are the only smart human in a sea of humans and the rest of us are ignorant? More over what draws you here to discuss it? The opportunity to promote yourself as some alternative to the mainstream thought process? “Look at how amazingly bright and different I am, I am so different than you… and you are all dumb for liking this over rated tripe” Well bully for you, hope that stroked your overinflated e-peen. I know pseudo intellectuals love that crap.
Timely:
[www.theonion.com]
My biggest complaint was that they didn’t see the prison earlier. They pan to the prison being at most a few miles away in the finale and then they have the discussion in this episode about searching the whole area. How had they not seen it? And Hershel didn’t live too far. Wouldn’t you know about a prison in the area if you’d lived there your entire life? Maybe I missed something, I don’t know. But if that is my biggest complaint, I am infinitely happier with this premiere than any other episode.
^^^THIS
No Spoilers!
I loved when ____ and ____ were _____ the _____. And then the face came off with the mask!
My favorite scene!
for a prison that has been overrun by zombies and zombie corpses, you’d think the stench would get to the survivors. especially for a pregnant bitch like lori who would probably complain and sulk about how the prison cells reek of dead flesh.
carl is now forever known in our house as “lil’ perv” after he tried to bunk with beth. heh.
Ricktatorship doesn’t have time for infected legs. CHOMP! CHOMP!
Also, where my badge at?
Ah, never mind.
So, like, I Hershel going to get all the Dale stories from the comics? If so, does he get to bang Andrea? Is that a spoiler, still?
So I was chopping down some logs on Saturday afternoon getting ready for that good fall weather (aw yeah, you know what I’m talking about) and I happened to knock my hatchet a few times on the concrete floor of my garage.
The moral of the story is that that *ping* sound that Rick’s hatchet was making as he cut off Hershel’s leg struck very close to home.
agreed on Hot Maggie. I think she showed boobage in a movie once
It’s weird seeing her doing this after watching her as Bella on Supernatural.
I want Maggie to bust out a British Accent for no reason- she used that hot Elizabeth Hurley style brit accent (or maybe has it naturally? I don’t know, I haven’t seen her in interviews)
She had the accent in Van Wilder 2
Ditto on agreed with hot Maggie, also, Holy Moly
The accent is real. Lauren Cohan is an American-born British actress, who moved back to the United Kingdom at an early age. Accent is real.
I would bet good money that they were all set up to film Lori’s first scene, realized they forgot she was supposed to be really pregnant, grabbed one of those riot helmets, and shoved it under her shirt.
Seriously, my 4 year old is a better tactician than this whole group put together.
Yep. Sitting outside the fence just poking them through fence until dead is a far superior tactic to going into the yard Phalanx style… then taking your only doctor into dark and windy corridors is just plain ignorance. Hard to suspend disbelief on that, it looked cool in the yard, and in the corridors it was spooky and atmospheric but it was tactically ridiculous.
This episode was one of the best in the series so far and we haven’t seen the Governor yet!
I’m already liking season three faster than it took me to like season one and two
Also, we learned that arrows < riot gear: [i.imgur.com]
I’m starting to really like Carol.
Hey guys, one thing I missed last night was why Andrea looked so sick. Did they ever explain that?
I think they said they were in the woods all winter so probably just a fever but I assume they will explain.
Maggie’s face by firelight: worth the post-s2 wait.
I really enjoyed last night’s episode. I am looking forward to more of Michonne’s badass killing ways and her story. On a related note, I can’t believe it too TWD this long to have a character kick ass with swords. Sword killing is so much more awesome.
I liked how Carl and Beth gave each other “the look” in the jail cell. It’s like the already know that in about 10 years time, they are going to have to produce a baby to keep the human population going.
I hope at some point we get a few episodes of what happened in the Winter. I’d love to know. I’d imagine the strategy used to avoid Walkers would be somewhat different then in the Summer time .
“I’d imagine the strategy used to avoid Walkers would be somewhat different then in the Summer time .”
ZOMBIE SNOWBALL FIGHTS!
The comic had a great bit in it where we saw what happened in winter prior to the prison arc and I was really sad it did not make it’s way into the show. I think the bit with Shane and Andrea in the housing development was supposed to be a nod to it in a sense but it was some of the best storytelling in the comics IMO.
@Alex: Hey, iceballs hurt. And you gotta think ice everywhere is an advantage for humans. I doubt zombies can move around or have good enough balance to walk on ice. And think of the army of well dressed snowmen humans could make. Put a little bit of blood on the snowmen (think what Shane and Rick did in S2) and maybe they could throw off their trail/scent?
Not sure if S3 is done shooting, but, reflecting on winter and episodes about when the Apocalypse began would be nice. Give some more character background, etc.
I don’t see Carl waiting 10 years. Maybe more like 4-5.
I’m going to go ahead an assume that southern Georgia doesn’t see too much snow during the winter.
this is no longer a democracy. it’s a cheerocracy.
Annnnd any reason to link to this: [25.media.tumblr.com]
GIVE ME AXEL!
Me too, you follow me?
Definitely the best episode since the pilot.
I am really hoping for foreshadowing when Lori was complaining the baby being dead inside of her and killing her. Imagine a zombie baby just coming through her gut and instantly sending her to hell.
My avatar thinks the Jackass Badge is pretty sweet.
And I rejoyed the fast start of the season premier.
I thought this was pretty fantastic, although I kind of miss those scary, tense moments like the one from the last season premiere. With all the walkers making their way past the broken down vehicles. But the dark halls of the prison near the end here were pretty good.
What we gave up in creepiness we gained in badassery. Fair trade off for now.
Oh and also Michonne is my new hero. Okay, I’m done I promise.
Oddly enough, I never liked her in the comics. I was really afraid of how she would be received in the show… now we have a redneck crossbow wielding super ninja, a small town sheriff, and a ninja sword wielding afro-samurai… it plays out fine for comic book fans but if you translate that into television… does it hold up? I mean , it seems over the top to me.
Yes over the top…for a show about the Zombie apocolypse…
I was completely silent watching this until Lori popped on screen so I could whisper a “Fuck you” here and there at her. And yowsa to Maggs IRL.
Oh, and love the show.
F’in A on Maggie actress.
Episode 1 brought the ultra-violence. A good sign.
fuckin’ herschel cock-blocking carl….
can’t do them things man..
Am I the only one who thought Beth was a lot older and totally weirded out by Carl putting the moves on her? I may be confusing her with her sister, either way Carl needs to keep it in his pants.
yeah pretty much. I’m wondering if she’s gonna take the place of certain other characters this season
Didn’t get my points!