Before we get to this week’s rundown of Sons of Anarchy, we have a very cool announcement to make. On the week of the Sons of Anarchy finale, UPROXX is giving away a very cool new T-shirt to 100 people. However, in order to be eligible to receive the shirt, you need to unlock the ALLY badge. Find out how to unlock that badge here; it doesn’t take a lot. Simply participate in a couple of Sons of Anarchy discussion posts by leaving a comment or sharing the post on Facebook or Twitter. The shirt looks totally bad ass, too. Have a look:
Now, let’s get to this week’s Sons of Anarchy:
1. It Was an Unusually Badly Written Episode — Was it just me, or was this week’s Kurt Sutter co-written episode particularly badly written? The dialogue was, at times, cringeworthy: “After my Thomas died, I did the worst thing a mother can do. I made you make up for the love he couldn’t give. I’m sorry, Jax.” Or, “This is bad, Wayne. It’s really bad.” “Yeah, I know, sweetheart.” Sutter has never been incredibly gifted with dialogue, but it was downright painful at times this week. Structurally, this season reminds me of an chart floating around the Internet right now, “Every Episode of The Walking Dead Summed Up,” which can be easily modified and applied to Sons: Great introduction, somebody does something stupid, motorcycle riding, nothing happens, HUGE CLIFFHANGER that compels us to keep watching next week. T
2. Chekhov’s Abel — Foreshadowing THE HUGE CLIFFHANGER: It should’ve been obvious something was going to happen to Abel as soon as we saw this ham-fisted shot of an adorable sleeping child in the first three minutes of the episode (Peter Weller, aka, Robocop, directed last night’s episode). If that wasn’t enough clunky foreshadowing, Gemma also fumbled her seatbelt. No subtlety here, folks.
3. THE HUGE CLIFFHANGER — Sutter seemed to take another cue from Breaking Bad this week by maybe killing off a kid, in this case, Abel. Gemma — who had been given babysitting rights by a softening Tara — drove her SUV off the road while high. As the episode ends, we see Gemma knocked unconscious, the little one crying, and a tree through the side of the SUV where Abel is sitting while Abel bleeding onto his stuff animal. Is he dead? Initially, I thought so (and I was peeved about it because it was more cheap and manipulative than shocking), but the more I thought about it, I don’t think so. The show couldn’t sustain that realistically. It would take Wendy out of the equation (and she’s due back later this season), and there’s no realistic way that Jax wouldn’t disown Gemma. It’s more likely that she will attempt to cover up the accident so that Tara and Jax do not realize that she was high while driving the kids around in the middle of the night. Covering it up will likely mean recruiting Unser, Nero, or more likely Clay, which would give them a secret that ties them together again.
4. The Joel McHale Watch — That was bullsh*t. Complete and total bullsh*t. You don’t bring the brilliant Joel McHale on for that? Sutter could’ve hired any jackass to play a con man that preys on Cougars. McHale got all of three scenes before Nero kicked the crap out of him, presumably ending his run. Lame. Also lame: The stunt man. I wish I could get a better screengrab, but in motion, the stunt-doubling was guffawtastic (Jax’s is not so good, either).
5. Lyla Is Working for Nero — We didn’t get to see much of her, but I’m glad that they found a way to keep Lyla around, even after Opie’s death.