Dude has a crazy beef with Bill Moyers. Like, to the point that it made me wonder what kind of catty move Moyers pulled on O’Reilly back in the day. Did he elope with O’Reilly’s grandma? Sell meth to O’Reilly’s cat? (And yeah, I could Google research this, but…that would be journalism?)
Anyway, to illustrate that PBS is an evil that should be treated like a golf-ball-sized kidney stone, O’Reilly held up a sign with a picture of Moyers that said, “We are paying this guy.” Later, he said that, “Bill Moyers needs help — but not economically.” Then even later, he said, sarcasm dripping, that Moyers was the most reliable journalist working today.
Like Moyers, O’Reilly also has a grudge with Georgetown Law Student/notorious birth control freeloader Sandra Fluke, and invoked this presumption about her more than once (to the delight of my seatmates — what fun they were to sit with!)
As rebuttal, Stewart jumped in quickly with, “My friend, Mr. O’Reilly, is completely full of sh*t.” Then he pointed out that Ms. Fluke was actually advocating for insurance companies to cover birth control the same way they cover Viagra. After that, we managed to crawl back out of the Quantum Leap time worm hole that had transported us back to February 2012, before legitimate rape had eclipsed taxpayer-funded birth control as the hotbutton War on Women issue of the day.
O’Reilly doesn’t agree with Romney’s assertion that 47 percent of America are slackers. Meh, he believes it’s more like 27 percent. But “it’s a growing industry.” He also said/joked at different points that (a) he liked Obama and wanted to shoot hoops with the Prez; (b) what happened with Bush is in the past so GEDDOVERITALREADY; and (c) SPOILER ALERT, believes we never should have gone into Iraq (to which Stewart cried out: “Somebody better livetweet that, motherf*ckers!”).
What else did I glean? That O’Reilly really thinks the fact that lots of people have arthritis is a problem. Like, maybe a Moyers-level problem that’s bringing us down. And people’s teeth are falling out in Britain = argument against socialized healthcare. (To that we kindly submit counter-point, Kate Middleton).
“A good portion of this country is living in an alternate universe,” Stewart opened, beginning a hilarious allegory about a place called “Bullsh*t Mountain.”