For days now pumpkin-headed hot air balloon/reality show star Donald Trump has been braying like a cracked-out donkey that he has some sort of Obama-screwing October surprise that he’d be dropping on us all tomorrow via Twitter and Facebook. “Tomorrow I will be tweeting on only one subject,” the bloated gasbag tweeted earlier today. And about an hour ago he posted the following note to Facebook: “This is not a media event or about Donald J. Trump— this is about the United States of America. I will be making the announcement on Facebook and Twitter tomorrow.”
So what could Trump possibly have on Obama? Definitive proof that Obama is a secret Kenyan with a Koran tattooed over his heart? Sworn testimony of a man who claims to have had sex with Obama finally proving once and for all that the president is GAY GAY GAY? Well, the hot rumor is that he’s got the divorce papers Michelle Obama is rumored to have had drawn up over a decade ago when the first couple went through a rough spot in their marriage.
Reports the Daily Mail:
It is alleged that the eccentric real estate mogul will claim that the documents show the First Lady and the President were at one point in their two decades of marriage seriously considering splitting up.
Trump set the hare running on Monday by claiming that he was set to make an announcement on Wednesday that would be ‘bordering on gigantic’ and that it would ‘possibly’ change the Presidential race.
So what kind of effect would having never filed divorce papers have? Probably nothing more than making Obama appear more likeable and sympathetic to most Americans, while also solidifying Donald Trump’s place as one of the worst people on the planet, that’s all. And Obama will laugh at him. Again.
UPDATE: Trump has made his “major announcement” and it’s even more bullsh*tty than you could have imagined. Naturally, Twitter is on fire.
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This just in – couples fight.
Time to end the bullshiiiiiit: [www.youtube.com]
Aaaaannnnnddddd how many times has Trump been divorced?
We have a winner
call the fight….
This will surely doom the president now!
If Donald Trump was supporting my candidate, I would have to do some serious thinking about my politics.
Al Capone’s vault.
You’d think Trump would have enough money to buy some self-awareness
Is that how money works, now?
Of course. I used my money to buy sadness to bottle it up. And now everyone’s happier than ever
That GIF is the gift that keeps on giving – thanks.
A married couple who had a rough patch in their marriage and thought about divorce? Whoa, that is rare. Usually people just go ahead with the proceedings. Obama clearly has no family values.
Trump will whore himself for ANY attention he can get. The race is already a circus as it is! Trump is a windbag and full of hot air… all that fuss and guffaw will drop like his blood pressure after a double-tap shotgun blast to the head. Watch him get his and see if that hair is even real when the guns come out on the Zombie Walk of Fame at [dregstudiosart.blogspot.com]
Good fuck Obama and fuck liberals
Wow. Elegantly said.
This article reminds me of how much I love freedom of speech, and that comment reminds me that it does cost.
Worth it.
I’m just confused as to what Obama being a good fuck has to do with this conversation.
Dan, why do you think Michelle didn’t go through with the divorce?
You know what Ronald Reagan, Newt Gingrich and Donald Trump have that Obama doesn’t have?
An ex-wife.
If I were Trump, I would proudest of the part where two kids get to hear people talking about how their parents almost split up when they were babies. That’ll show everybody.
Come on WG I expect more from you. You could at least mention that skank Allred doing the same thing to Romney.. Like she tried to do to Arnold.
Was that on T.V.?
Donald Trump is on a television show, and this is a television blog that does a reasonably good job of staying apolitical. Even this was reported just for entertainment value, not to support an ideology.
And the unthinking partisan circle jerk continues. Can it please be two weeks and a day from now?
I can’t understand why celebrities threaten to move to a different country if candidate X is elected. If I had their money I’d move out BEFORE the election and come back in late January.
The best thing would be if it’s that he has proof Obama’s wearing a wig.
If Trump really wanted to hurt the President’s campaign, his announcement would be that he is becoming a Democrat.
And in regards to a couple of posts above, if live people are now doing that jobs that are normally reserved for spambots, does that mean the recession is over?
Hmm, I may have spoke too soon.
Obama’s got bigger problems than Trump.
So with divorce rates around 50%, wouldn’t 1/2 of the divorced people think ‘wow, even the president’s old lady was ragging on him and the thought of divorce’ and the other 1/2 think ‘they made it work, good for them’.
How exactly does this help Trumps cause?
Oh, because his cause is to drive attention to himself. I see now.
*they not the*
No matter which candidate I choose to support, his marital issues from a decade ago mean absolutely nothing… weak.
Just so I’m understanding this. Donald Trump has had investigators in his full time employ for four years, using the finest resources bankruptcy protection can endow, looking for personal dirt on the president. And the dirt has been as elusive as a self tanning product that looks natural. Whatever you think of the policies of this administration, I support your vote either way. But the worst Trump can muster is that the president failed to trade in his marriage for a new model every ten years or when the warranty expires on wives. Thanks, Trump and Gingrich for setting me straight on family values!
What does Gingrich have to do with this? I don’t remember seeing his name anywhere in the post. I thought it was about Trump being an assbag.
Newt Gingrich is being mentioned because he was in the Republican primaries and, oh, has been divorced a half dozen times or so. Every time his wife starts wrinkling he trades her in for someone working on his campaign.
Oh, and Trump almost endorsed Gingrich before Mitt took Florida in the primary.
Speculation! Fun fun fun…
Announcement is up. You’re all wrong and this is now the worst thread ever.
If I were one of “the Donald’s children I would have him declared incompetent and take over his empire. I would let him keep his hair piece though as I’m sure it is like a security blanket.
For the record…..it is just that he’s offering a charitable donation if Obama releases a bunch of records that no one even cares about.
Should be an easy 5 million for Obama then, no?
@Demosthenes: No, because Trump says “to his satisfaction” and as anyone who has wasted a second on that shit stain knows, Trump won’t be “satisfied” just like he wasn’t satisfied by the birth certificate.
Good job, Trump! The Obama campaign should send YOU a check. Question–don’t groupthink posts belong under the Web Culture tab, not Warming Glow? Specifically, I’m talking about posts that pretend conservatives hold a rigid monopoly on stupidity, ignorance, dishonesty, etc.