News is super-thin today, thanks to Hurricane Sandy, but if it makes you feel better, you can also blame Obamacare. So, rather than devoting yet another post to Mitt Romney’s use of “Clear Eyes, Full Heart, Can’t Lose” (and yes, he used it again yesterday in Iowa, even after Mrs. Coach told him NOT TO), I thought I’d just show my appreciation for the most terrifying episode in television history. Last night, Josh, Joanna, and I got to talking about best Halloween episodes on the Station Agents podcast, and while it’s not technically a Halloween episode, it did air in October 1996, the 11th, to be exact. I remember that night well, for it is the night that I watched television from a fetal ball.
For those who haven’t seen it, you don’t have to have seen any other episode of The X-Files to appreciate, or be terrified by the episode. It’s stand-alone, and it’s available on Netflix Instant. Basically, Scully and Mulder find a baby buried alive in shallow grave. The baby appears to have had multiple, multiple birth defects, and we subsequently find out that those birth defects are a result of generations of inbreeding.
“Home,” is the single most terrifying episode ever aired on network television, an episode you’d be wise to never watch alone, in the dark, late at night unless, of course, you enjoy the sensation of your own sh*t running down your leg, compliments of an elderly amputee charged with continuing the family line by screwing her deformed, mutant sons.
Inbred horror, folks. It doesn’t get more terrifying. If you don’t believe me, just ask ANYONE that’s watched it.
There’s even a cool fan-made trailer for the episode I found on YouTube?
Fun Fact: That episode was written by James Wong, who would go on to direct the first and third Final Destination movies.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/4006/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/06/mad-men-season-6-episode-11-051-e1371219518558-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/04/69251_10200805654883248_447766815_n-e1365724500766-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/03/barbara-walters-60s-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/03/tumblr_mjn088x3ZK1r1ptd6o2_500-150x150.gif)
I’m sure a wave of irate fanboys will start jumping up your ass about it soon, but Fox and Mulder were the same guy, no?
Damnit Obamacare! Fixed. Thanks.
Dustin was so scared he had to get Elmo to type this post.
This episode has been talked about in the comments section of a number of different uproxx posts.
I know I’ve referenced it a few times myself.
mind blowingly scary
I was 9 years old when this episode first aired. Those kids (especially the one holding the pitchfork in the banner pic) still creep the hell out of me 16 years later. A well-deserved appreciation post
Agreed. I had actually forgotten about this episode. My mind obviously repressed this memory so that I could have a more balanced childhood.
Absolutely one of the best X-Files episodes ever, agreed.
Scariest episode ever? I would love to argue but I really can’t think of anything I would say is scarier so good call.
I was an avid X-Files fan and I was NOT prepared for this episode when it came on. The memory of it causes me to shudder tp this day.
The memory of it also causes me to misspell monosyllabic words to this day.
The Peacock family is completely horrifying. I mean, they’re even scarier than the Fluke Man and Tooms. And Tooms is married to Courtney Stodden now. So, yeah, horrifying.
OH DEAR GOD
I remember watching this episode when I was 8. Swore off incest ever since.
I’ll stick to happier episodes like Triangle. That split-screen transition in the hallway still gives me shivers.
I think what puts the episode over the top is the contrast of the batshit crazy Peacocks against the Mayberryesque sheriff. Was his name even Sheriff Taylor? The autopsy of the infant in a small restroom sink is another image that I will never get out of my head.
For some reason, the memory that sticks out the most for me is the mother referring to the Civil War as the War of Northern Aggression, like she had been there. Also, being Canadian, it was the first time I had come across that name for the war.
That was the first time I ever heard that phrase as well.
Since moving to the south (Texas, specifically) several years ago, I hear it more often. And I think of this pants-sh*ttingly scary episode every time.
This episode scared the BALLS out of me as a young man.
I didn’t realize Jared Padalecki was in this.
I always thought the Peacock Family was a not so subtle dig at 1996 NBC.
Creepiest thing about this episode was the feel good fifties music
Agreed, my dad would hum the song played in the episode to scare us when we were younger.
This episode pretty much proves that there is no god.
Also fun fact: James Wong wrote and directed Dragonball Evolution. Fun Fact: He ruined a franchise in 90 minutes.
Thanks for using the image of the Mother’s face, you BASTARD. Now I have to wait for my balls to un-shrivel.
Gives me a terror boner.
They’re good boys.
this truly shocked me, really gross for TV
Something like 19 million people a week watched this niche show and all of its challenges. Now I look at Fencewalker set pictures from 2008 on the internet and wonder if I can buy Chris Carter a cup of coffee.
I did not appreciate it at the time. “Icky” subject matter. But over time I’ve grown fond of this episode. Even a little aroused.
*fondles the remote*
O.M.G worst mistake of my young life watching this episode of the X-files. I am forever scared by the pig people and their quadriplegic roll-around mother… Thanks for rehashing this. Send me an address so I can send the shrink bill.
Holy shit, this episode freaked me the fuck out. I cannot listen to “Wonderful, Wonderful” without it making my skin crawl.
So these guys were basically the McPoyles before the McPoyles?
i remember the night this originally aired because i was 9 years old and my mother freaked out and sent me to my room as soon as the Parental Advisory came on which was a first for the show at the time
““Home,” is the single most terrifying episode ever aired on network television, an episode you’d be wise to never watch alone, in the dark, late at night”
Funny thats exactly what I did a few weeks a go.
No, I did not liked the sensation.
i still can’t believe they got away with the fucked-upedness of the buried inbred baby on network tv. especially the kid digging his shoes into the dirt only to unearth some dead baby gore
Only Nicholas Cage would find this episode NOT scary!
Even funnier is the behind the scenes drama. Fox was desperate to bury this episode and in fact the only reason it ever aired again was because they made the mistake of asking fans what episodes they wanted to see during reruns.
No shit. Fox got…Outfoxed (Shoots invisible basketball, swish noise)
Wong didn’t write this episode alone, it was co-written with Glen Morgan, whose brother Darin also provided some of the best stand-alone X-Files episodes ever, including “Clyde Bruckman’s Final Repose” and “Jose Chung’s From Outer Space.” Great stuff all. And “Home” is pant-shittingly outstanding
No way this episode gets aired on basic cable nowadays.
I remember when Fox aired shows that weren’t cartoons.
*continues rocking in chair and whittling on block of wood*