This Man Should Not Be Allowed Near Animals

According to his biography on the Hallmark Channel’s surprisingly not hosted by Angelfire website, Marc Moronne is a “modern-day Dr. Doolittle [who] really knows how to talk to the animals — and about them, too. He is Martha Stewart’s go-to guy in the world of four-legged and winged beasts, from dogs to cats, rabbits to ferrets, parrots to canaries.” He can also put them into hilariously precarious positions that often nearly end in death.

A partial list of things that happen in the must-watch video below.

-A cat jumps into a fish tank to kill a goldfish.
-A monkey tries to bite a parrot’s head off.
-Multiple ferrets and kittens fall off a table.
-A dog named Barney tries to eat a kitten.
-A bird picks up another bird by the legs and won’t let go.
-A turtle snaps down on a puppy’s tongue.

And so on. I would rather allow Beverley Allitt to be my future baby’s pediatrician or ask Kevin James to watch my priceless vase on a rickety table positioned in a doorway (what could go wrong!) than let Marc Moronne near my guinea pigs. Yeah, I have guinea pigs. So what? I bet they could take down that monkey in the video.

(Via Reddit)