This was probably inevitable given all that has transpired over the last few weeks, but that doesn’t make it any less sad: According to the New York Times, Kevin Clash, the voice of Elmo on Sesame Street, has resigned following the recanted, and now kind of un-recanted, allegations that he had a sexual relationship with a 16-year-old. Sesame Workshop released this statement earlier this morning:
Sesame Workshop’s mission is to harness the educational power of media to help all children the world over reach their highest potential. Kevin Clash has helped us achieve that mission for 28 years, and none of us, especially Kevin, want anything to divert our attention from our focus on serving as a leading educational organization. Unfortunately, the controversy surrounding Kevin’s personal life has become a distraction that none of us want, and he has concluded that he can no longer be effective in his job and has resigned from Sesame Street. This is a sad day for Sesame Street.
I don’t know what to make of all this anymore. If the allegations — plural — are indeed all false money-grabbing schemes by gold-digging hucksters, then this is incredibly sad, as it ruined a beloved children’s icon and dragged an innocent man’s name through the mud in the worst possible way. If the allegations are true, even a little bit, well, that’s incredibly sad, too. There really isn’t any part of this than can be construed as a good thing.
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Any word on Mr. Noodle?
There is no official word on Mr Noodle (who is white), Mr Noodle’s brother Mr Noodle (who is also white), and Mr Noddle’s sister, Mrs Noodle (who is black).
However rumors continue to swirl about Mr. Noodle’s parents, Mr and Ms Noodle, around the accounts of an extra marital affair.
If only Sesame Street had a segment teaching the valuable lesson, “Never stick your dick in crazy.”
If they taught that to children, I think the world would be a very different place.
An simpler lesson is people over thirty should stay away from teenagers.
Better yet: All people should stay away from teenagers, because teenagers are awful.
There is only one solution, we must kill all the teenagers.
That’s a little extreme. We can just sequester them until they are twenty-five.
No, TBone is right. The streets must run red with their blood and we shall experiment on their brains to find the final answer to the question “what is cool?”
That’s a very expensive lesson. I learned it at 37 and it cost me half of everything I owned. Of course, that was because I was a repeat offender.
Is Sesame Street going to have to kill off Elmo like they did with Mr. Hooper?
Yes, the episode is titled “Dealing with Muppet death” and is slated to air on Dec 18th. As I understand it Sesame Street is rocked to its foundation when Elmo is mistaken for a red-tailed fox and killed in a hunting accident. I also hear that there will be a catchy upbeat tune on the importance of gun control laws.
No comment has been made by the NRA on these developments yet.
Looks like Elmo just got caught… RED HANDED.
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!
(I’m sorry.)
I’d been meaning to watch his documentary on Netflix for a while, now I wish I had before all this shit.
Having watched it makes this all the more damaging. I’m too old to have grown up with “Elmo” on S.S but damm this sucks.
When I watched that documentary I truly believed I could do anything. Now I’m just sad.
I haven’t seen it yet either but I plan on queuing it up tonight and watching it in a whole new unintended light.
“It is a sad day for Sesame Street, as Kevin prepares, after 28 years, to remove his fist from Elmo’s distended, chapped, second-mouth of a nether-hole for the last time…”
Gotta agree, it’s a case where I wanted him to stand up and say “I didn’t do it” and be proven right! So either it being true or him backing down does indeed only lead to sadness.
PBS gets an unholy amount of scrutiny from the GOP, he had to step down once the allegations were made.
Somewhere on Sesame Street, Grover is hearing the news and rubbing his hands (paws) together gleefully. After so many years of having his thunder stolen as the “go-to” adorable monster, he’s poised to dominate once more.
Growin’ up, you don’t see the writing on the wall
Passin’ by, movin’ straight ahead, you knew it all
But maybe sometime if you feel the pain
You’ll find you’re all alone, everything has changed
Play the game, you know you can’t quit until it’s won
Soldier on, only you can do what must be done
You know in some way you’re a lot like me
You’re just a prisoner and you’re tryin’ to break free
I can see a new horizon underneath the blazin’ sky
I’ll be where the eagle’s flying higher and higher
Gonna be your man in motion, all I need is a pair of wheels
Take me where my future’s lyin’, St. Elmo’s Fire
Burning up, don’t know just how far that I can go (just how far I go)
Soon be home, only just a few miles down the road
I can make it, I know I can
You broke the boy in me, but you won’t break the man
I can climb the highest mountain, cross the wildest sea
I can feel St. Elmo’s Fire burnin’ in me, burnin’ in me
Just once in his life a man has his time,
and my time is now,
I’m coming alive
I can hear the music playin’, I can see the banners fly
Feel like you’re back again, and hope ridin’ high
Gonna be your man in motion, all I need is a pair of wheels
Take me where my future’s lyin’, St. Elmo’s Fire
I can climb the highest mountain, cross the wildest sea
I can feel St. Elmo’s Fire burnin’ in me Burnin’, burnin’ in me,
I can feel it burnin’ Oooh, burnin’ inside of me… (to fade)
Jim FTMFW
There really isn’t any part of this than can be construed as a good thing.
Gotta disagree with ya here, Danger. Vehemently. If the allegations are true, even as you say, just a little bit, then a man who likes to have sex with children is no longer in a position to be exposed (no pun intended) to other children. That is a very, very good thing.
If, on the other hand, the allegations are not true and he’s been simply outed and extorted, then yes, very sad.
That’s a fair point. I meant it more from an “if he’s guilty then it’s a sad day for society as a whole” perspective, but you’re right. That would be good in the sense that it would be an absence of bad.
I think the biggest issue is that we’ve all been robbed of a court case involving Sesame Street.
“The Prosecution calls Mr. Snuffle U. Pagus to the stand”
Aren’t we forgetting the best part? NO MORE ELMO! Now if we can just dig up something on Murray’s puppeteer….
so sad…….never try to buy at a discount…..he should have offered 500K….
This bums me out. I hope the allegations aren’t true because Sesame Street is one of the few pure, unblemished pieces of nostalgia from my childhood.
Even as a kid, I just always assumed that Bob, Gordon, Maria, Susan, Linda and Luis were all having cocaine-laced orgies after the show, so this doesn’t really surprise me too much.
Damn I thought Maria was hot when I was a kid!
The Recanted would be a great name for an emo band by the way
Is it too early to suggest Mike Ehrmantraut as replacement voice? Come on, internet, help me out with this one!
“Leave me the fuck alone Mr. Noodle and let me die in peace”
“No more half measures, Big Bird.”
The good news is this happened just in time for black friday shopping. I hear the Fondle Me Elmo doll is going to be a hot seller this year.
Is it okay now to admit I never liked Elmo? Hopefully this frees up more airtime for Grover and Telly.
EXACTLY!
Mr. Rogers didn’t have this bullshit
Mr. Rogers gives no fucks