Allow me to be very clear about something before we begin: If you are the showrunner of a popular television series, and you use a Boyz II Men-related pun as the title of an episode, I will give it a positive review. It is really that simple. It doesn’t even have to be a good pun. Two and Half Men could air 30 uninterrupted minutes of Ashton Kutcher counting his money — not even in character, just him actually cashing his paycheck from the show and stacking all the bills in piles of $10,000 — and I would still give it a B- if they called it “Motown-Philling My Pockets With Cash.” I am not especially proud of this, but it’s not going to change anytime soon, so I figured I should be up front about it. Full disclosure and everything.
That said, last night’s episode of Happy Endings, “Boyz II Menorah,” was a gem regardless of its title. Pairing up Brad and Max always leads to terrific results, and letting an insane sex addict like Jane give relationship advice to the “boring couple” of the group was a great way to utilize all three people in an episode where they could have easily been overshadowed by big flashy stuff like dancing and Penny sort of becoming a pedophile. I like this show very much.
And now, the highlights:
- The episode started with Max saying “Join me in welcoming: He entered a boy, but will be leaving a – entered a boy doesn’t sound great,” which is my favorite molestation joke since It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia’s classic “boy’s soul/boy’s hole” bit. A strong start.
- “I’m gonna need to see your license, registration, and proof of penis.” “This is outrageous! I’m writing down your vag number!”
- Serious religious question: If I convert to Judaism today, can I have a Bar Mitzvah like the ones the kids in the show had? Because I will totally do it if I can.
- Alex is the bestworst at being sexy. On one hand, she’ll throw paint in your eye. On the other hand, her idea of packing is a bag filled with the travel version of Guess Who and “a terrifying amount of condoms.” So… push? (Also, she has pig friends. Maybe you like that. Pervert.)
- Penny is like Jewish boy crack, and she will show you her boobs if you give her events a positive review. Something to file away for later.
- Tasers only make Jane stronger. I am in love with this woman. She is scarier than a shark phlebotomist, and I do believe I like it. It’s a shame she’s already found her “chocolate anaconda.”
- “Now I got just one commandment for y’all: Thou shalt not STOP … DANCING!”
- “White people love black people. Why do you think we’ve been wholesale ripping off your culture for decades? It’s out of love … and greed. But mostly love … of money.”
Feel free to leave your favorite moments and quotes in the comments. Me? I’ll be watching this 100 times in a row.
Alex the Painter picture via TV Hangover