
Soon…
Happy Thanksgiving! As you can see, we’re ducking out a little early today for the holiday. We’ll be back on Friday with an abbreviated day of posting and a Weekend Preview, but that’s about it for the week. Unless, like, Jon Hamm murders Charlie Sheen on live television or something. We’d probably cover that. Anyway, enjoy your Thanksgiving and turkey and football and naps and whatnot, and we’ll see you back here in a little while.
Here’s a quick rundown of the TV schedule for the next couple days.
WEDNESDAY
A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving (ABC) – It is OK with me if you like or dislike Peanuts.
Whitney (NBC) – Whitney and Alex decide to share a checking account on tonight’s episode. Presumably it will all go very smoothly and there will be no odd or zany consequences. This is how television works, yes?
Top Chef (Bravo) – Thanksgiving episode. World-class chefs cooking Thanksgiving-themed dishes on television? That’s just obscene. Alert the Parents Television Council.
THURSDAY
Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade (NBC) – One day someone will WISE THE HELL UP and make a Space Jam float. Until then, my boycott continues.
Football (CBS/FOX/NBC) – Thanksgiving is cool because you get to eat a crapload of food and then fall asleep while watching giant human beings smash into each other for your enjoyment. Never forget this.
National Dog Show (NBC) – Remember back in February when Ufford went the Westminster Dog Show and tried to pet all the dogs? That was great.
MARATHONS
Gone With the Wind/The Godfather (AMC) – AMC is playing some awesome classic movies over the next few days. I have seen The Godfather roughly 50 times. Minimum. I see myself adding to that total shortly.
James Bond Marathon (Syfy) – The marathon goes from midnight tonight through late Friday night. Goldfinger airs Friday morning. Please consider this your periodic reminder that this scene is a real thing that actually happened.
Photo credit: Shutterstock/ssuaphotos



Am I the only person who likes to think that Chris D’Elia’s character Alex on Whitney is Topher from Workaholics he just changed his name after he got out of prison. Really adds somethin to the show if you ask me.
Probably, but if anyone else ever bothers to watch the show, you can always ask them.
That guy will never not be beiberhole69 to me. Ever.
Happy Thanksgiving to the crew here at Warming Glow and across the Uproxx network! Hope that all of you knuckleheads have a great one!
Happy Thanksgiving, people. I’ll have Valley Winter Song on repeat as I ply my loved ones with turkey, gravy, dry white wine, and anecdotes. They shall choke on witty stories! **pinkies out**
Happy Thanksgiving, you princes of the Internet, you ham-fisted mongoloids of the Web.
Aye, chew that bird lustily. CHEW IT!!!
Hungry corgi: will dance for turkey!
HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL THE BONERS!
GET BACK ONLINE. CHEVY CHASE JUST QUIT COMMUNITY.
No Lady Gaga kiting about on a Meatloaf video set this year? My turkey will taste of nothing but disappointment.