Hello there, Internet person. Do you like HBO’s acclaimed fantasy series Game of Thrones? Mmm hmm. And do you also like to consume alcoholic beverages, specifically beer? You do?! FANTASTIC! I have some tremendous news for you.
HBO announced today that it’s partnering with New York’s Brewery Ommegang to create a series of beers “that directly tie into themes, characters and nuances…of the medieval-like fantasy realm of Westeros and surrounding kingdoms,” according to a press release. Iron Throne Blonde Ale, the first beer in the series — beeries? – should be on shelves in time for Game of Thrones‘s third season premiere on March 31. 750ml bottles will sell for the suggested retail price of
one gold dragon$8.50, a pittance for any Lannister worth his salt. [EW]
YES, PLEASE.
According to the report, there will be a total of four Game of Thrones-themed beers, with the second hitting shelves sometime next fall, and the other two debuting alongside future season premieres of the show. I don’t know if anyone from HBO or Brewery Ommegang is a regular UPROXX reader, but just in case, allow me to throw something out there: Khal Drogo’s Two Knives Stoudt. I mean, sure, there are millions of potential names you could go with, all of them amazing (Baby Dragon Pilsner, Horse Decapitator IPA, Joffrey’s Stupid Bitchface Lager, etc.), but a beer called Khal Drogo’s Two Knives Stoudt would combine two of my favorite things in this world: 1) Dark beer. 2) The time Khal Drogo did this:
God, that was great. I hope they figure out how to put that GIF right on the damn label. It would excite and terrify me every time I opened my fridge.
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Well now, this does nothing to dissuade me from the MASSIVE brewery-crush I have on Ommegang.
Ever visited? It’s the hap-hap-happiest placeon goddamned Earth.
The problem with Joffrey’s Stupid Bitchface Lager is, you’d have to look at Joffrey’s stupid bitchface every time you opened your fridge. F that noise.
Yeah, but after you drink it you can huck the empty bottle at the wall. WIN-WIN.
Maybe have one of those images on the inside of the bottle, so when you’ve finished the beer, you can see a picture of Joffrey getting slapped in his stupid face
Now I’m sold. And dammit, I want me some Joffrey’s Stupid Bitchface lager.
I’LL TAKE EIGHT
Quite often the Stark bear has no head on it.
*beer. I’m sure their bears have heads.
There could still be a bear labeled beer. Bears are the sigil of House Mormont after all.
A Tasteless Can of Sorrows. Now that’s a stretch. And also known as PBR.
What a hipster thing to say.
I think this is stupid and utterly ridiculous and I can’t wait to buy a whole bunch of them.
Make some horn cups to match and I’m sold.
Tyrion Lannister’s Imp.P.A. – A generous addition of hops gives this beer its characteristic bitterness. Upon drinking, it reveals a complex palette with a sharp bite. Its smooth aftertaste will leave you wanting more, which makes it an excellent session beer. Excellent compliment to Dornish food.
and they can only come in a half pint
Stitch, you win the Interwebz today. Well played.
$8.50 is reasonable, but I think I’ll pay the Iron Price.
Like.
if they have a PBR esque blend then theon greyjoy can be on the cover because he is a huge douche
Ommegang specializes in Belgian styles so there’s probably not going to any IPAs, stouts, or lagers. Just sayin.
Truly missing out on the myriad of opportunities there.
*quickly looks up Ommegang’s seasonal beers of the last few years*
Ah-ha, 2011 Ommegang Chocolate Indulgence (Belgian-Style Stout, 7% ABV).
2010: Ommegang Adoration Strong Winter Ale. That has House Stark written all over it.
Winter is coming.
Mmm forgot that one was a stout. They make damn good beer so Im excited for whatever they end up doing. I’ll probably get a case to drink and a case for the cellar regardless.
I’m assuming Joffrey’s brew will be hard to swallow
I want to post some beer name ideas, but I’ve just started the 4th book, and now don’t remember what’s a spoiler and what’s not a spoiler …
Dammit.