Nick Offerman swung by Conan last night in his best Ron-Swanson-at-the-Woodworking-Awards attire last night and they discussed all things masculine: mustaches, man musk, handmade kazoos, and the little-something-for-the-philanthropic-ladies burlesque show that I must admit frightened the hell out of me (seriously, nipples in the wrong places are like a top five fear).
Of all the manly talk I must admit Nick clarifying his “People’s Sexiest Man Alive” designation in the beginning of the first clip below was my favorite part as I plan to borrow “to be fair to my friend Channing” when I’m explaining to the ladies at Dunkin Donuts that I was named “Sexiest Man Alive: Internet Edition” in the magazine’s lesser known online portion of the feature. “It’s kind of like those Oscars they give out the night before The Oscars.”
Also, WANT an Offerman Woodshop kazoo like yesterday.
We were all thinking exactly what Andy said despite being unclear of the exact implementation.
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Was it last night? I won’t assume it was last night until at least 8 more “last night”(s) are worked into the two paragraphs somehow. I’ll just assume it happened at some random time, maybe two nights ago.
By my count two. Pretty sure the second one was meant to be deleted during a re-wording. I’d normally go back in and fix but I’ll leave the error for posterity so you can impress your friends with what a big swinging dick copy editor you are.
Side note: Your commenting history is pretty f’n brilliant in how it manages to be so troll-y without ever being funny. Bravo. [profile.uproxx.com]
[i.imgur.com]
I can’t even fathom the amount of strange Channing Tatum and Nick Offerman would get on a night out on the town.
Channing would get the dumb, naive barely legal piece of ass while Offerman would get their late 30 year old mom (who looks in their late 20′s) who has lived life and could send a man to Nirvana with one night of humping.
Advantage: Offerman.
The description of the kazoo on the Offerman Woodshop website:
“A boys kazoo is made out of plastic. A man’s kazoo is hand crafted from wood.
There’s no better way to attract a mate than to croon with this poplar and walnut kazoo. And this ‘miracle pocket saxophone’ fits in your tool belt for easy access.”
Pure Ron Swanson.
Credit: [offermanwoodshop.bigcartel.com]