
To quote Tolstoy, “It’s been a weak ass year for sex tapes.” As proof, here are the five nominees for “Best Celebrity Sex Tape” at the AVN Awards: Octomom, Leola Bell, Michelle Bombshell, and Phil Varone, of Skid Row fame. BOR-RING. That group is like if Unforgettable, and only Unforgettable, was nominated for the Outstanding Drama Emmy. Luckily, Samsung, and not Hulk Hogan, has picked up the slack, first with their scandalous Mom or Babysitter (Definitely Babysitter) commercial and now, its sequel, starring Mr. Santa and Mrs. Layla Claus. (Yes, she has a first name. I had no idea, either. Also, according to Yahoo! Answers, Santa and Layla don’t have kids because he’s “haunderds of years old the tree is dead.” That explains a lot.)
Samsung isn’t even beating around the bush anymore: Mrs. Claus is going to town on those elves. They’re unpaid laborers forced to work year-round in terrible weather and even worse conditions, and yet, look how happy they are. It’s because they’re f*cking the boss’s wife. Pretty freaky, that Mrs. Claus. Let’s check out what YouTube commenters are saying, beyond the obvious “I know someone who’s NAUGHTY, not NICE” reaction:
This is awful and offensive! Santa equals innocence, not sex! Disgusting!
This is just so wrong! This society’s going down the toilet faster than a slippery turd. I have a sense of humor but this ain’t funny in the least. Nice goin’ Samsung.
Mrs Clause looks like an old Drew Barrymore. Cute sweet and naughty.
I find this commercial to be kind of adorable. Just some old folks who are still in love with each other. It may cross the line a bit, but they ARE married and at least they are still happy with one another, unlike some other married couples I know. It shows that there can still be excitement in the later years.
But…what’s on the tape? My guess: the elves performing their patented “red nose” move on Layla.



Is the “red nose” similar to the Eiffel Tower? Because that’s my vote.
It is, but I prefer the “Frosty the Snowman” because it involves less baby oil.
I assume the Red Nose, or more subtly the “Rudolph”, is more like the Strawberry Shortcake.
Or perhaps the Fire-Breathing Dragon.
I’d think the Frosty the Snowman would be more like a zombie. In which case i’d call it an Abominable Snowman. I think you may be on to something Burnsy.
It’s all of that, and more.
See, I’m going with the Yule Log if it’s me. Minimal movement, reclined position and can be performed on a full stomach.
The Elfel Tower
This is so wrong on so many levels. Why do the phones have to touch? Hasn’t Samsung heard of Bluetooth? Or, you know, email?
I want some eye bleach after seeing it on TV. And wonder why it took so long for y’all to notice this ad.
I know it’s a remake (or “re-imagining”) of the other commercial, but my initial thought was, “Where is he supposed to watch the video if not on the sleigh? In the middle of the living room of somebody’s house?”
well you don’t expect him to tug on his hang down out in the cold, do you?
In your shampoo bottle because Santa is a dirty old perv.
I thought the original point was that he shouldn’t watch it in public. Now that Santa is doing it and he’s in his own personal sleigh, I don’t see the problem. Except for a horrible accident.
Look kids! Santa left us a glass of milk!
oooh it must be whole milk. looks thick and creamy and delicious. NOM NOM NOM
If anyone has a younger sibling/nephews/cousins who still writes Santa a letter on xmas eve and leaves it by the milk and cookies (Maybe im the only one who did this?) please add in a line asking what the video was Mrs. Claus gave him. I think it would be hilarious
Can’t wait for the sequal with Mary Magdalene giving a video to Hay-Suess.
Wouldn’t that be a prequel?
Guys, I just found a copy of her video online and it was from a girls weekend she took with friends in the South Pole. Its a elf lady fuckin a reindeer. And you get there and you’re thinking Oh, a elf lady fuckin a reindeer. And you get there, and it is not as a great as you thought it would be. Its kinda gross. I mean, it was really givin it to her. To be honest, we all just felt bad for her. I kinda felt bad for the reindeer.
Oh, I assumed it was a video of Mrs. Claus flickin’ the bean. Which HORRIFIED ME INTO A COMA and ruined Christmas forever and ever. I went back and had to watch several hours of not-big-fat-old-lady-masturbation porn to clear out my brain. I also missed much of my work day.
Seriously. Fuck you Samsung.