What did you do for New Year’s this year? Did you go out and get very drunk the night before, wear silly glasses and hats, eat lots of rich food, then sleep off all that hard living until noon? Did you enjoy a nice quiet evening with some close friends, nurse a glass or two of champagne, head home just after the ball dropped, and spend the holiday itself relaxing and watching football? Or did you finally get too old and tired for all that, choosing instead to spend a night in on the couch watching movies by yourself until you nodded off somewhere short of 11:00 PM, only to wake up the next day with the blue DVD menu screen staring back at you as you reluctantly stumbled into 2013 covered in pretzel crumbs and your own filth?
Well, whatever you did, I can assure you it doesn’t matter at all and you are a fat selfish idiot because Amy Poehler (star of Parks & Recreation and recipient of UPROXX’s prestigious Best Lady Around Award) apparently spent her New Year’s doing humanitarian work in Haiti with the Worldwide Orphans Foundation. Congratulations, you are an awful person. Happy New Year.