What did you do for New Year’s this year? Did you go out and get very drunk the night before, wear silly glasses and hats, eat lots of rich food, then sleep off all that hard living until noon? Did you enjoy a nice quiet evening with some close friends, nurse a glass or two of champagne, head home just after the ball dropped, and spend the holiday itself relaxing and watching football? Or did you finally get too old and tired for all that, choosing instead to spend a night in on the couch watching movies by yourself until you nodded off somewhere short of 11:00 PM, only to wake up the next day with the blue DVD menu screen staring back at you as you reluctantly stumbled into 2013 covered in pretzel crumbs and your own filth?
Well, whatever you did, I can assure you it doesn’t matter at all and you are a fat selfish idiot because Amy Poehler (star of Parks & Recreation and recipient of UPROXX’s prestigious Best Lady Around Award) apparently spent her New Year’s doing humanitarian work in Haiti with the Worldwide Orphans Foundation. Congratulations, you are an awful person. Happy New Year.
via Buzzfeed
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I don’t know, I’m a pretty good person. Just the other day some drunk homeless guy came up to me and asked for some money. I said ‘put down the boones farm and get a job ya bum.’
I gave that guy advice that was worth more than any pocket change he could have gotten that day.
Hey, you didn’t shoot him and stomp his dog to death. That makes you better than most men who were alive in the 80s.
I spent New Year’s Eve sitting in the packed waiting room of a clinic for almost two hours with a 3 year old and 9 month old with ear infections. So don’t go handing out that Nobel Peace Prize just yet.
I would date Amy if she is interested.
This just in: Will Arnett is a dummy.
Truly a paragon.
And after Amy Poehler showed up, all of Haiti’s problems vanished.
Sean Penn will soon take credit.
I spent my Christmas a few blocks from East New York. So I’m Amy Poehler just without needing a passport,
I din’t understand, if she wanted to party with black people on NYE there are far better places than Haiti to do so.
It’s official. She’s a new girl crush.
Oh how she loves black kids. Get the fuck out of here with that shit, makes me sick.
I spent New Years Eve negotiating an arms deal with the Syrian government.