CBS, which is clearly trying to capture a younger demographic (see also their Beverly Hills Cop television show), has decided to make a television show based on Cameron Diaz's box-office success, Bad Teacher. I didn't love Bad Teacher. I thought it made for a much better movie trailer than movie, and I suspect the premise would wear out its welcome fairly quickly in a television show, although I have slightly higher hopes for the TV show because Hilary Winston (Happy Endings) is behind it.
It would also be a fun show to cast the lead in: You need a sexy, foul-mouthed actress who will probably have the camera pan up her body at least three times an episode, and who also looks good washing a car. I'm assuming Kate Upton is not doing television, so in lieu of her, here are 11 other choices that would be well suited to the show. Now, they're not all necessarily unemployed -- they're in between television shows, or expected to be in between television shows -- but whatever.
Carla Gugino. Gugino has been trying to land a television show for years, but hasn't pulled it off yet. This could be her opportunity, and her stint on New Girl is not too dissimilar than what the role here calls for.
Yvonne Strahovski -- Assuming she's not returning full-time to Dexter, Strahovski could pull a younger demo over to CBS, as I'm sure many of us who watched Chuck would follow her over to see her wash a car. At a certain point, after all, she was the only reason left to watch either Chuck or Dexter.
Sarah Shahi. I didn't love Fairly Legal, but I was still disappointed it was cancelled because it was a weekly excuse to see her. She has an arc on Chicago Fire right now, but that wouldn't keep her from her own show.
Alexandra Breckenridge. The American Horror Story alum would be great, as either a red head or a blonde Bad Teacher. Her days on AHS has certainly prepared her for being bad.
Lucy Punch. This is probably the most natural choice because Lucy Punch is supposed to be the next big thing, she just lost her sitcom, AND she was in the Bad Teacher movie.
Krysten Ritter. With Don't Trust the B being cancelled, Ritter wouldn't have to change her character that much, just trade an apartment for a classroom.
Karen Gillan. She doesn't exactly look the part, but if Billie Piper can make the transition from Doctor Who companion to Secret Diary of a Call Girl, surely Gillan can make the transition to bad teacher.
Eliza Coupe. Happy Endings isn't officially cancelled, but it almost certainly will be, and Coupe would could play bad better than any of the women on this list. The sexy shouldn't be too hard, either, and she could simply follow her Happy Endings writer over to CBS (Elisha Cuthbert might also do, in a pinch).
Laura Allen. The former Terriers and Awake actress doesn't have a lot of comedy roles on her CV, but what can I say? I think she's great, and I'd like her to land a job, soon.
Adrianne Palicki -- Neither Wonder Woman nor Lone Star were hits for her, so surely this Friday Night Lights alum could put those incredibly long legs to good use in Bad Teacher.
Lake Bell. If you don't think she can pull off sexy teacher in a sitcom, you clearly haven't seen enough Children's Hospital.
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I guess “10 Gorgeous Unemployed Actresses Plus Lucy Punch” didn’t really roll off the keyboard well.
I was in the midst of typing the same thing… someday I want someone to explain Lucy Punch to me…. I finder neither funny nor attractive.
Her and Rebel Wilson. I don’t get it. The only redeeming quality I find about Lucy Punch is that she makes me think of Patsy Stone from Ab Fab.
or “9″. Kristen Ritter is a type, and that type is not mine.
Thinking of Patsy Stone from Ab Fab is a redeeming quality?
Always.
Just so we don’t come off as unanimous: I do find Lucy Punch funny.
Whenever Otto and I completely agree on something it scares me.
While choosing the order I would put her at 11 out of these women, saying she’s unattractive (WOULD NOT BANG) is, well, an internet thing to do.
It’s like you reached into my head and pulled out my thoughts, Otto.
This just made me think: What happened to the lady who played Linda in Better Off Ted?
Andrea Anders! I thought about adding her, I swear. But I didn’t think she’d be good in the role.
She’d be good as a nemesis…
Anders just wasn’t that funny on the otherwise hilarious Ted — but she’d have been great as the Modern Family mom.
UGH Andrea Ander is TERRIBLE. She was BY FAR the worst thing about Better Off Ted. Her character was completely unlikable and her performance just made it even worse. She was on Matthew Perry’s last show too, and I quit watching halfway through the first episode because she was terrible in it also. Not funny, not attractive, not likable.
That isnt Adrianne Palicki. Thats the chick from that stupid FX show.
God, my brain wont work and Im not googling it.
Nip/Tuck. Kelly Carlson.
Kelly Carlson FTW. So hot in N/T.
No, it’s Palicki. You can tell from the birthmark between her eyes.
I have too much free time.
I read that as “Kelly Clarkson” and my brain shut down.
Anyway, you might both be right — the photo’s been changed from the original post.
While I agree with this list in its entirety, once Happy Endings is canned, Eliza Coupe and I will be taking a vacation so she may be unavailable.
you say vacation, I say kidnapping.
Struggle snuggle!
I would watch Carla Gugino or/AND (can it be AND? Please be AND) Sarah Shahi watch paint dry. Would be my number 1 show for the year/life.
PREACH!
This. Get both and I’ll watch it.
Eliza Coupe, Lake Bell, and Krysten Ritter are the only ones who are capable of being genuinely funny in that role.
But its going to be on CBS so… I guess any one of them can adequately deliver hacky jokes to a studio audience forced laughter.
i’m probably not the first person to say this but lucy punch looks like someone punched her mother in the stomach while she was pregnant…..wither that or just punched in her face.
mmmmKAY.
I haven’t seen the movie, but from what I remember it was an excellent black list screenplay that required an actually funny woman to be successful. Instead, they chose Cameron Diaz, and it was bad. You’re doing the same here. I think Coupe would be perfect for this, but none of the others strike me as very funny. That being said, I haven’t seen much of Children’s Hospital and I do love Lake Bell. I like a lot of these actresses too, but not for a role that (apparently) requires so much natural humour.
Lake Bell is genuinely funny and has a body like a ride at Six Flags. I can’t remember the last time I watched anything on CBS, but I’d watch her.
Let’s be honest. We’d all watch a show called ‘Eliza Coupe’s Legs’, and she’s basically already played this character in the (regrettable) last few seasons of Scrubs. Now, we just get to see her in skirts instead of scrubs, which takes us back to Eliza Coupe’s legs.
Hmm, I think I could really get into Eliza Coupe’s Legs.
Speaking of Children’s Hospital, Malin Akerman might work. Seems like she already took the comedic rules that used to go to Diaz.
I’d DVR that show; especially if it was….spread over several seasons.
$20 says Jenna Elfman gets it.
…Damn it, you’re right. I really can’t imagine anything different happening.
Ouch that just killed my Carla Gugino daydream…
Carla Gugino in ANYTHING… a series, a miniseries, her underpants…
She was funny and badass as Hank’s lawyer on Californication a couple seasons ago. I don’t think I knew who she was until then, so I’ve been forcing myself to catch up on her work…starting with Sin City.
I would listen to Carla Gugino read the damn Twilight books and have smile on my face the whole time. I have just a SLIGHT crush on her and have for years.
I even sat through Elektra Luxx! I don’t recommend it…
I enjoyed the pictures. Was there text?
Lucy Punch? What?
came here just for the pictures !
Yvonne just finished playing Lorna Moon in Broadway’s Golden Boy and she received rave reviews from critics. I doubt this is the direction she wants to take her career in now.
You setting up an account just to say that has sent shivers of creepitude up my spine!!!
Like a 21st century super stalkerish version of Rupert Pupkin!!
What have you planned for Strahovski perv?
Do you have the set of Chuck replicated in your basement by any chance?
I’m just a fan of her work and seriously, there is no way Yvonne takes this role after her run on Broadway. She’s going on to bigger and better things. Not this crap.
@YvonneFan
Yeah, still creepy and/or you’re getting paid to do this. But you might want to check out the paycheck-grabbing history of “serious actors” like Lithgow before getting your hopes up (or down, or whatever).
3rd Rock From the Sun was actually a good show.
Okay, now we know you’re getting paid to be here.
Hey psycho, settle down. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush (you’re the dude with the telescope, does she have a bush?). There’s nothing like sitcom money. If you’re in a great movie you better hope there are sequels and you can’t be replaced (see: Fox, Meagan; Howard, Terrence). Whereas if you’re in a huge sitcom the money never stops, and you can go on to do whatever the fuck you want to do for the rest of time.
Let this marinate for a moment: Lisa Kudrow has made more money in Hollywood than Meryl Streep.
Don’t act like your girl is too good for TV. Some other names for your consideration: David Caruso, Julianne Marguiles, Shelly Long
3rd Rock From the Sun IS a good show. I’m guessing none of you have watched it in years, but it is much stronger than its premise.
I would enjoy “being a fan” of Yvonne. Enough that I would purchase a nondescript van.
Also; Chuck…….
If they choose any of those ladies, they might want to change the name of the show to “Hot for Teacher”.
If David Lee Roth is in it I’ll start watching both NCIS’s in appreciation. Make this happen CBS.
Stop saying Happy Endings is getting cancelled, GODDAMNIT!!!
Gillian Michaels
perfect if the teacher is a lesbian gym coach who berates her students. (you did mean the broad from Biggest Loser, right?)
No, I’m a big fucking retard. I meant Gilllian Jacobs.
Gillian Jacobs with two L’s. Subconciously, I may not want her to have the job.
Could it be Gillian Jacobs teacher is a lesbian gym coach who ……?
I’m just trying to work this out, man.
I read the Bad Teacher script, which was really good, and written for a 23 year old, and then they cast a 37 year old famous chick and focus-tested the shit out of it, and it wasn’t as good anymore. They need to go younger with this.
Also, I always wondered who actually liked Lucy Punch. She’s so broad, she plays everything like she’s in a fucking telenovela. She needs to take it down five notches or stop trying to act in comedies.
I read about this on your site, and then after we saw the movie my girlfriend and I rattled off a list like the one above because you were dead on, Vince.
While I enjoyed the movie, you are spot on about Bad Teacher. Also, Justin Timberlake was the absolute worst in that movie. He reminded me of the cool kid in highschool portraying a geeky character in a play and whenever he said something ‘uncool’ he’d wink at the audience (his peers) and people would laugh because he’s totes not the person he’s portraying.
Cameron Diaz ruined Bad Teacher just like she is going to ruin Gambit.
She’s not famous enough, but that weird blonde chick with the crazy eyes from SNL would be perfect in this. I like Lake Bell. Kathryn Hahn would also be good, but I’d like to think she’s way above this role.
Kate McKinnon?
Also, Adrienne Palicki? As the star of a comedy? You crazy.
I have no idea if she’s unemployed or not, but, I think Brittany Snow would make a great bad teacher.
From this list, I hope it’s Sarah Shahi. I’d watch it for her.
I would watch Sarah Shahi stand in the middle of a road with the DMV “Slow/Stop” sign for five hours a day.
Hmm, don’t you mean Brittany Murphy? She’d be perfect for this.
Get it? Because everyone in this comments section is listing off different actresses and getting confused, so I said Brittany Murphy because, well, you know!
I’ll show myself out.
Brittany Murphy died like four years ago, Brittany Snow looks kinda like her but still alive. Snow has been in nothing but terrible movies and that singing show based in the 60′s.
@Stay Frosty – I’m going to assume you didn’t see Pitch Perfect but are just labeling it “terrible” on principle? I took my girlfriend and daughter to see it, thinking the whole time it would be terrible, but I rather enjoyed it.
Hilary Winston not withstanding, I kind of imagine CBS execs being very hands-on, insistent on broadness, etc. Thus I can’t imagine this show being any good, thus I wouldn’t wish this role on anyone I like. Then again, it’s probably pretty good money, so I guess I’d be okay with almost any of these ladies. Still, I’d rather see most of these ladies in something better than a CBS sitcom.
Olivia Munn can do this and Newsroom.
You all realize that network executives are in charge of this. So Whitney it is.
The rage I feel reading your comment because I know you’re right just makes me rage even more.
It’ll either end up staring Whitney, or, Whitney will end up producing it somehow and Chelsea Handler will star as the teacher.
Isn’t “Community” almost done? What about ones of thems?
What’s “Community?”
Mhhmmmm Alison Brie would rock it actually
To really make any kind of informed opinion about this I’d have to individually screen test every single one of these women. I’ll clear a space in my basement for….. script reading.
Roseanne Barr is not working.
The shark is not working…
Someone said something about Roseanne Barr jumping the shark so the shark quit. Wasn’t worth the risk.
Sorry, I couldn’t get past that picture of Carla Gugino.
Kinda makes the tires screech alright.
Sploosh