You Can Stage Your Own Personal ‘Miami Vice’ Reunion For Around $100,000

I like to believe that 40-50% of the UPROXX readership is made up of eccentric billionaires and people with the means to raise substantial amounts of money for incredibly silly purposes, so with that in mind, allow me to bring something to your attention: If you are so inclined, you can stage your very own Miami Vice reunion for around $100,000.

According to the website Celebrity Talent International — which a source tells me has fairly accurate figures — former Miami Vice stars Don Johnson and Philip Michael Thomas charge $50,000-75,000 and $30,000-50,000 for personal appearance fees, respectively. So, theoretically, for a figure somewhere between $80,000 and $125,000, you can have the two of them show up at your next big fancy event. And maybe — just maybe — if you kick in an extra $10,000 or so, you can convince them to roll in wearing designer pastel threads and run around the party yelling “FREEZE,” and accusing your friends and family of being in cahoots with the cartel, and kicking down the doors, and seducing your wife, or whatever. It’s your money, you know?

I wouldn’t go blowing it all right away, though. At least not until you’ve looked around at some of the other appearance fees on the site. Anthony Bourdain for $50,000-75,000. Sold. Christina Hendricks for $20,000-30,000? A bargain. Englebert Humperdinck for $1-1.5 million? Wait, what in the hell?! A million dollars for Englebert Humperdinck? Good Lord. Good for you, Englebert Humperdinck.

As for me, let’s just say I’m setting aside 50,000-75,000 hypothetical dollars for a certain musical act known for doin’ a little East Coast swing…