As you may have heard, Beyonce Knowles is directing a movie that’s about Beyonce Knowles talking about Beyonce Knowles and the hard, hard life Beyonce Knowles has to experience with her millions of dollars and her superstar husband. But it’s not always easy for Beyonce Knowles. Did you know, for instance, that Beyonce Knowles’ wanted to trademark her baby’s name, but a judge wouldn’t let her, which means that she won’t be able to properly exploit Blue Ivy? Or did you know that some parents — IRRATIONAL, STUPID PARENTS, OBVIOUSLY — got upset with her when she and Jay Z rented out an entire floor of a hospital to deliver Blue Ivy, keeping some parents from visiting their newborns in the ICU. Also, Beyonce had to take to Instagram to comment on her lip-synched performance of the National Anthem last week at President Obama’s inauguration.
See, the thing about being Beyonce Knowles — as she’ll tell you in the documentary she made about herself — is that Beyonce Knowles is a “human being” who cries and gets nervous just like everyone else. Also, it’s “very difficult” when her handlers put her in tight clothes to hide her pregnancy, and OHMYGOD, what is she going to do when she’s two days away from a live performance and she’s not yet prepared?
Woe is Beyonce Knowles, y’all. Woe is her. Check out the trailer for her HBO Documentary, Beyonce.
I will say this about Beyonce: There’s no such thing as a bad Beyonce GIF.
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It ain’t easy being really ridiculously rich and good-looking, y’all.
I hope she comments on how she gets away with lip syncing but everyone else who does it gets kicked in the neck.
You get a free pass if youre Beyonce. If you’re Ashlee Simpson, you get rode out of town like Mad Max.
tbf I’d ride Ashley Simpson any way I could.
He remember in 2011 when here totally pregnant belly which is definitely a big fake rubber belly collapsed while she sat down on Australian TV? [www.mommyish.com]?
cause that was hilarious.
#Illuminatiproblems
I’m sure there are ups and downs to being a celebrity, but give me a fucking break. There are folks out there who have it hard enough without having to be subjected to the sob stories of the rich and privileged. It wont be soon enough when this self-serving idiot dries up and blows away.
Very well said.
Celebrities will stop bitching as soon as people stop loving hearing them bitch. We drive the demand, she’s diligent enough to capitalize.
She got 99 problems, but a bitching contest ain’t one.
No it’s more than that, it’s fucking entitlement. And being very out of touch with common people. People are interested in celebrities lives, but you don’t hear Tom Hanks bitching about how hard he has it.
Seriously. I’m neither rich nor famous and I barely have a right to complain about my life.
I had a rash once; it was slightly irritating, people!
Tried to trademark Blue Ivy. Seriously?
Not gonna’ stop me naming any reptile I might buy Blue Ivy. Not a chance.
..and license it to the Chicago Cubs in the outfield.
Dustin, I believe a mutual friend of ours would not appreciate the candor of this post.
She says stuff about staying current and soulful, but nothing about being authentic.
I sure hope life gets easier for her. The hardships she must go through on a daily basis are unfathomable. The kids in Rwanda probably pity her.
I think being famous is just about the worst thing that can happen to a person. Well, fame + a terrible circumstance would be worse than just fame. It would be even worse if that terrible circumstance is the thing that made you famous in the first place! “Hey, isn’t that the guy who was born with no dick? Hey dickless! Can I rub your patch?!”
See, worse.
Suddenly my pants are kind of tight too.
She had sex with Jay-Z. If you can do that, everything in life should be a walk in the park.
[insert Fry meme]
Cant tell if referring to Jay-Z’s alleged massive dong or the fact that Jay-Z is one ugly bastard.
You know those people who think that because they’ve reproduced they’re officially gods? This is worse than that.
She’s still running with the actually carried the baby story? Good for her.
Heartwrenching stuff! This documentary is going to put documentaries like “The End of Poverty” to shame.
“There’s no such thing as a bad Beyonce GIF.”
Normally I’d agree, but try this. Imagine in the second GIF she’s just said “You want some of this sugar baby?”, but in Tom Waits voice.
Not so sexy any more, is it?
Those GIFs made me go HAM.