A brief list of characters we've met this season on FX's American Horror Story: Asylum: aliens, Nazis, nuns possessed by the Devil, murder Santas, axe-wielding psychos, racists, horny nuns, chronic masturbators, serial killers with mommy issues (so, serial killers), Adam Levine's mutilated corpse, and, of course, good ol' Pepper. It's been a great season of television (yeah, it feels weird saying that about a Ryan Murphy show), equal parts ridiculous and brilliant, but alas, it comes to an end tomorrow, with the fittingly titled season finale, "Madness Ends."
Today, however, we look back at some of the craziest, f*cked up scenes from the season. Vaguely NSFW, if your work doesn't approve of GIFs of Chloë Sevigny's body covered with boils and rashes. Miss you already, AHS.
#10. We'll start the list slowly, with a patient claiming to be Anne Frank admitted into Briarcliff.
This was a normal plot development compared to what's to come. Even with the lobotomy.
(Via)
#8. Grace's history with axes...
...and coming back from the dead, resurrected by aliens with a baby in her belly.
#7. The fact that someone made this GIF (click here for the reasons why)
OK, that's not #7. This is: Nazi doctor Dr. Arden temporarily killing Kit Walker...
...so aliens will come and reclaim and heal his body, or something.
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#6. Chloë Sevigny's nymphomaniac Shelley going from this...
...to this, courtesy of Dr. Adren's experiments.
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#5. I've talked a lot about Dr. Arden because it's the lovable farmer from Babe playing — and this can't be said enough — a Nazi doctor who conducts secret medical procedures on his unwilling patients. Anyway, he's in love with Sister Mary Eunice, who I'll talk about more soon, but when the good girl goes bad and dies, Arden doesn't think he can live in this world anymore, so while she's being led into his incinerator, he hops on, too.
In GIF form, that looks kind of fun.
(Via)
#4. Ian McShane as: MURDER SANTA.
Ian McShane returns in: MURDER SANTA EATING SOME GUY'S FACE
Ian McShane, never better than in: MURDER SANTA HAPPY PUN TIME
I also present to you my favorite still of the season:
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#3. OK, so, the aforementioned Sister Mary Eunice (played with sinful delight by Lily Rabe) is a nun who turns bad when the Devil takes possession of her body, and while under the control of Beelzebub, she rapes Monsignor Timothy Howard, thereby stripping him of his virginity, purity, and dignity.
She is later pushed off a balcony.
(Via)
#2. All things Bloody Face, from our introduction...
...to an arm chop...
...to when we found out who Bloody Face is...
...to Zachary Quinto's creepy ass smile...
...to Zachary Quinto continuing to be creepy and an ass...
...to Lana flipping him off.
Dylan McDermott (new Bloody Face) also sucks the milk out of a prostitute's breasts, but no one needs to see that.
#1. "The Name Game"
Nothing about this scene made a lick of scene, but it was pretty much the greatest thing ever. Therefore, it is American Horror Story: Asylum.
(Via)
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Oh man, no “Ian McShane: Priest Crucifier”?
I was looking for this too.
Whoever made the Ian McShane GIFs has been watching too many Tim Allen movies.
I really don’t understand why everyone on this planet is not watching American Horror Story. It’s got everything, James Cromwell calling people whores, Dylan McDermott being a general tour-de-force in the world of bad line readings, human skin lampshades with nipples on them, Dominique, Murder Santa, Tio Salamenca as a Mossad Nazi Hunter… the list just goes on.
Maybe because last year it was turgidly awful…….
Meanwhile this year it is insanely awesome..
This season has been amazing compared to last season. Last year I couldnt get past the “we cant leave this house, even know the wife just got raped by a gimp.” Logic bombs everywhere.
I call my wife “whore” like Dr. Alden says it and she giggles everytime. This show is definitely approved.
@Observerwwtdd no, last year was amazingly awful. I laughed so much.
I despised the first season and almost told my girlfriend she wasn’t allowed to pick any more shows. (I was even willing to accept the obvious just so there’d be no more sob-wanking) Second season was such an awesome turn around I started asking her to pick more shows.
I was really into this season but the last couple of episodes have been hella goddamn stupid. I mean, I know it’s Ryan Murphy and all, but I just wish it could be a *little* bit smarter. But no, we’re just going to build up towards a whole bunch of nonsense plot lines that have almost nothing to do with each other and don’t make any fucking sense.
At least the first season waited til the finale before it pulled the football out from under me.
I would do dirty, unspeakable things to Grace, I don’t care if she axe-murdered her family. The crazy ups the hot factor.
or sister Mary Eunice
she’s got some serious horse teeth though
I badly want to hire Ryan Murphy to conceive a show and write the first 6-8 episodes, then hand it over to a writer who can make something coherent out of all the plots.
How… HOW can you declare these the 10 best when there is still one episode left? Don’t we have one more coming? I’m pretty sure we do.
There’s got to be something whacky the Cardinal of New York will do.
Maybe he’ll introduce the Buddy Christ
Don’t forget milking a hot black pro by the way. I wonder what the going rate for that is.
I’ve enjoyed this season more than I care to admit but no single part more than watching Adam Levine get stabbed repeatedly.
I didn’t notice the red lingerie as she was falling the first time I watched it. Oh, and why can’t this show be on HBO/Showtime? Imagine this with more nudity and swearing.
What about the abomination creature the Kit takes out with the meat hook in the kitchen as Grace gets capped?
But the most fucked up scene, for my money, was the reveal of Shelly’s legs.
Serious talk:
I’ve never seen this show before. Is it good? Or is it so bad it’s good? Because I’m not going to lie, slide #1 makes AHS look like Glee meets teenage girl interpretation of horror. And that, my friends, does not seem interesting.
It’s great. Not scary, but just great TV.
Fun thing to do – when someone introduces somebody else, say “don’t you mean HANS GRUBER?” in a German accent. Instant ice breaker.
Chloe Sevigny can sit on my face. Either version
I can’t believe that Spock fucking a corpse didn’t make this list.
I would still do James Cromwell. Nazi doctor or not, “show me your mossy bank” is splash.
GAH. Why did I click the American Butt Story link, knowing it would be the main thing that I complained about all through the first season?
I gave it up when there was no more spanking.