Have you guys noticed that Alison Brie has been, like, EVERYWHERE lately promoting Community? She was on Letterman a couple of weeks ago, on Fallon night before last and last night she was on the Daily Show. But hey you know where she hasn’t been during this recent publicity blitz? UPROXX! A few of you may have noticed. Frankly, it’s time we put our foot down, dangit!
It’s not for lack of trying, mind you. For about a year I’ve been regularly reaching out to Alison’s people to try to book her for a live discussion with readers — like the one Joel McHale did so wonderfully last week (Love u, Joel!) and Jim Rash did last year — or to have her do an UPROXX 20. So far, our efforts have proven frustratingly fruitless. WHY WON’T YOU RETURN ANY OF OUR CALLS OR TEXTS, ALISON?! Have we creeped you out? We probably creeped you out. 
Look, Alison, we’re harmless. I promise. Collectively we only have a handful of restraining orders out against us at any given time, and all of those, I assure you, are the result of simple misunderstandings. So come hang with us some time, won’t you? We helped to make you for the love of God!
Look, there’s no website on the internet that showers you and Community with more love and adoration. A kiss on the cheek would be nice. That’s all we’re asking. Joel already let us down easy as for the hopes of anything greater.
(Thinks about what could have been. Sighs.)
So have your people get in touch with us, okay? BTW you looked very pretty on the Daily Show last night, but you’d look even prettier on UPROXX. JUST SAYING!!!
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I’ve had this image booked mark just waiting for her live discussion. So…dibs.
Just one of the people with the restraining orders.
I’m not sure if I’m talking about Paul or the Orangutan.
Hmmm. Tell me more, Gor. I might be interested in something like this.
I’ll get her on Gruden Talk if need be
“Jon Gruden discusses the evolution of rap with Community Star Alison Brie”
Make it happen Bobby.
THIS GIRL ALISON BRIE I CALL HER ANONYMOUS BECAUSE AFTER SHE VISITS YOUR WEBSITE YOU SOMEHOW END UP LISTED IN THE SEX OFFENDER REGISTRY AND YOUR INTERNET IS BROKEN.
To be fair, both this site’s and my own “interest” in her creeps me out. I can only imagine what it does to her.
creepy
Is there such a thing as an e-restraining order?
“Allison Brie with random dates.”
If only this were true.
Unfortunately, none of those dates are with any Uproxx readers
I’d judge y’all, but I’m pretty sure Joel McHale thinks I’m stalking him.
You show up to ONE of his kid’s birthday parties and suddenly you’re a stalker. It’s not fair, Patty.
Yeah and his wife shows up to ALL OF THEM and it’s no big deal. What’s with the double standard?
Now Patty, don’t be ridiculous. We ALL think you’re stalking him.
I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m still totally fine with being a jilted stalker and turn my creepster attention toward Gillian Jacobs.
Second.
Team Gillian over here. I guess they will have to fight it out for our affections.
In a weird way, my affection towards Alison Brie is more appreciation than lust (not that lust isn’t involved). What everyone thinks Zooey Deschanel is (who I can’t stand) Alison Brie actually is: quirky, charming, talented, and naturally funny.
“In a weird way” is correct.
…beautiful, achingly hot also factor in, but you just forgot about them, right?
@shough610
well played, sir.
We just have to prove that we are capable of asking legitimate questions rather than asking stupid “will you be my girlfriend oh my god you are so cute how do you deal with it” type of shit. I’m totally serious, too.
Agreed.
That crowd seemed awfully sedate. It’s almost like it wasn’t full of Uproxx and AV Club readers. <3 u Alison. Chester something Band 4ever.
I like Alison Brie but my fondness will quickly turn to disgust when she starts dating Ashton Kutcher or some similar entertainment-world douchebag. Stay strong, Alison!
Her current boyfriend is related to James Franco, hopefully he can resist the douchiness in his DNA.
I just realized I’ve never heard her speak on anything but on Community. Her voice sounds different
Time to turn the attention towards Gillian Jacobs perhaps? Just a thought!
When you think about it the whole thing has to be a bit weird for actors and actresses like Joel McHale, Alison Brie, and Timothy Olyphant. I can’t imagine having people I don’t know .gif-ing me. It’d be awesome, but a little unnerving.
To Joel I’d just like to say, “YOU DON’T KNOW THAT.”
It’s high school all over again. The impossibly pretty, nice, smart girl is dating all the @holes. If only she’d see the merits of a sweet guy in a sabbth t-shirt with a pocketfull of polyhedra dice.
Yes, those are dice. Mostly.
Where’s John Cusack with a boombox when you need him?
I heard she’s planning on Uproxx visit on April twelhmfmth. Confirm/deny?
I’m pretty sure I heard it was in Smarch.
I am prepared to tell her how pretty her hair looked on TDS, if that works in our favor then let her know.
Well that post should scare her away for good.
I think uproxx and reddit are responsible for cultivating my love for her.
An atomic tsunami of cuteness.
Come on Alison, throw us a bone. We’ll be gentle. I just want to know what your favorite cartoon of the 80′s and rap album of the 90′s are. And if I’m not being too forward I might ask vice versa. I’ll even put on a tie before I type out my questions. Because I have nothing but love and respect for you girl. For real.
If she did do a live blog, I would be so intimidated that I would ask something like “how’s the weather?”
I posted on the what to watch post this morning but her appearance last night can only be categorized as a DUD. The Community clip they played was McHale being funny and her being an accessory. Then she spends the whole thing babbling about her band, uncomfortably laughing at her own jokes while the audience sits in silence. It was completely uncomfortable to watch. The only time they laughed is when Jon made a joke at the end and she couldn’t remember her own plugs.
Being that this was the first time I’ve seen her in anything…outside of tits, I don’t know what you guys obsess over with this girl.
It wouldn’t matter if she did drop by, because those nerds from Pajiba would just come over and turn her right off.
I bet if Ufford was still around he could charm her into it. Motherfucker got a hug from Kate Upton once.
I’m ducking preemptively, but it’s late, maybe nobody will see this….
…the more interviews I see of Alison Brie, the harder it is to find her interesting. I mean, she’s adorable and SO hot and adorable and awesome when she’s in character, and on paper she SHOULD be fascinating, but whenever I see an interview I’m all “…that’s it?”
/ducks
Are you confusing “getting to know” online sweethearts with no real porn to Google and and real girls who would think you’re a stalker wanna-be and suddenly change their name(s) and moves?
Your groveling is obviously flawed. I can only imagine your effect on women in any one-on-one context imaginable. Sorry about the diagnosis, but its killing you. Time to quit.