
CBS announced yesterday that Cam Gigandet will play a lawyer in a new pilot titled Reckless, and his character sounds like it was created entirely by a focus group. Everyone hurry up and read this block quote so we can start making fun of it.
The sultry legal show is set in Charleston, S.C., where a gorgeous Yankee litigator and a Southern city attorney struggle to hide their intense attraction while clashing over a police sex scandal.
Gigandet will play Roy, the city attorney. He’s described as a liberal Renaissance man and father of two. His wife, Scottie, recently left him for a Florida developer and has taken their two children with him. He surfs, loves skateboarding and hip-hop but also fishes, hunts and collects guns. [THR]
Added a CBS executive, “Yeah, so like I said, he’s a Renaissance man, right? Yup, a Southern Renaissance man. Who’s a lawyer! He loves putting away criminals, and real, red-blooded American stuff like hunting and fishing, but he also loves all that X-Games sh-t, like skateboarding or surfing or whatever. Yeah, that’s Roy. A lawyer who loves hunting and rap music and surfing. And he’s played by that guy with the abs. You know, Cam Gigizmo. My daughter loves him.
“What? You’re still not interested? Really? Well did I mention that he’s also a, uh … do kids still like vampires? They do? Well he’s also a vampire! And a DJ! Yeah, a bigtime vampire DJ! He tours the country between cases in a giant pickup truck — American made, of course — with his opening act, who’s a, uh … a … A ZOMBIE. Who breakdances! It’s like Twilight meets The Walking Dead, but funky! Unless you don’t like funky. We’re flexible on the degree of funkiness.
“Hey, did I tell you about the hot Yankee lawyer? SUPER HOT. She’s always wearing these tight suit jackets with short skirts. But she’s likable and down to Earth, too! And the two of them are constantly fighting over this police sex scandal. Real steamy, will-they-or-won’t-they, lovey-dovey stuff. And they, uh … they… JESUS CHRIST WILL YOU PEOPLE JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT. I’LL GIVE IT TO YOU, I SWEAR. MY EX-WIFE KILLED ME IN THE DIVORCE AND I’VE GAMBLED AWAY THE REST MY MONEY. I NEED A HIT. ANSWER ME, DAMMIT!”
Photo credit: Featureflash/Shutterstock



Of course this is on CBS. I’ve never liked Cam Gigandet ever since he was one of the worst parts of the black hole of suck that was the OC season 3.
Johnnie was the worst part of season three. No disrispek to Oliver’s worseness, but at least Oliver was entertaining, whereas Johnnie was just depressing. Fuck Johnnie!
*Of course this is on CBS. I’ve never liked Cam Gigandet ever since he was one of the worst parts of the black hole of suck that was the OC.
*Fix’d
Needs a minority sidekick
What was T-Dog’s job before the apocalypse?
So they just structured this character like that so that he doesn’t have to act AT ALL, correct?
There must be some sort of eHarmony for these kind of “actors” so they can find their perfect role.
Can’t wait for them to cast Chelsea Handler as the brassy, yet vulnerable Yankee lawyer with a penchant for sushi, fast cars, classic rock, ice hockey and handbag shopping.
They said she’s be hot though
Hot to 18-29yo female demo…. also to TV execs.
Even his name sounds like it was put together from Twitter hashtags.
+1 hilariously accurate description
Are We Trending Yet?
“This week, Roy’s frat bro DJ Jizzy Jeff (Kellen Lutz) stops by to totally run a train. Now, stay tuned for Peter Facinelli in Fast Car Driver Rock Star.”
If you and DG ran a network/cable station, I’d never turn it off. Ever.
Facinelli’s a show killer, watch out.
Make Hyper-Chicken his mentor (live action, natch) and I will watch every second of this that youtube makes available a year after it gets canceled.
By the way, we’re all clear this is going to be a massive hit, right? Because of course it is.
I’ll bet ya it won’t make it half a season
I can’t be the only one who read that line as “He smurfs…”
He’s a lawyer. Lawyers hang out with other lawyers and judges. It’s 1933 in South Carolina as far as attitudes towards women go. There is no way his wife cheated on him and got custody of the kids unless he didn’t want them.
Dude, Danger, bro, didn’t you know that in the south, lawyers LOVE rap?
IT’S LAAAAWWWYYYEERRR MIIIIIIKE
Wait, so after getting his own apartment with two sexy ladies, Roy moved to the South, went to law school, and took up hunting and fishing? I’m terribly confused.
I love that his name literally is Roy. It could only be better if his full name was Roy Poochie.
Like Cerberus?
This lawyer is proacticve! We’re talking about a totally outrageous paradigm.
What’s the line on how many episodes go by before Roy is seen relaxing at home in a Tapout t-shirt? I’d say five, and suggest taking the under.
I’d mock this show, but, I’m afraid if I mock the show it will have a Two and a Half Men run.