
This is about a quarter as inspired and on the mark as Jimmy Kimmel’s premier Twitter segment, “Celebrities Read Mean Tweets,” but Rob Delaney is good at 140 characters or less, and old ladies in a deli reading messages involving shipyards and bad decisions will always be OK in my book, so there you go.
Spoiler alert: You’ll never be more excited to have not been born in China.
And for good measure here’s Rob’s standup set from later in the show. Not his finest stuff and — shockingly — the audience doesn’t love a good speedball joke as much as I do.



I love Rob Delaney’s standup, but I feel he was a bit constrained by network TV’s rules about swearing and discussing bodily fluids.
I was trying to be nice, but that did not go well.
Yeah. When a guy’s routine includes describing how he loves the taste of pussy, with the caveat that he loves it in the context of pussy, not on a pizza or in yogurt, you just know showing up on ABC won’t go well.
Yes, his jokes were tame, but damn that was a tough crowd!
I thought he suuuuuuuuuucccccckkkkked last night but I can understand the constraints of trying to be funny and clean at the same time. You pretty much have to be like Jerry Seinfeld on his stand up at the beginning of episodes. On a side note we just had a comedy club open up here in Jacksonville to compete with our other established club and they have a no cursing or adult topics allowed at there shows. How the fuck do you have a fucking comedy club and not allow those mother fuckers to tell some dirty jokes about shit, cock, pussy, and shit like that. What the fuck.