Nope. Nope nope nope. NOPE.
This is a short clip that aired on Today this morning, featuring a woman named Ocean Ramsey leaving the safety of her steel cage, grabbing a great white shark’s fin, and just riding it all around the ocean like it isn’t a soulless hunting machine with cold, dead eyes, and a mouth filled with steak knives. I wasn’t watching it live — thankfully, because I am not equipped to handle this kind of thing before about 11 a.m. — but someone brought this clip to my attention and now I am TERRIFIED. Why would you leave the cage?! Why would you even go down IN A CAGE?! I mean, sure, I get that you want to prove a point about how sharks aren’t “actually” that “violent,” but didn’t you see Grizzly Man? This only ends one of two ways: 1) You ride a shark for a minute and people say “Oh, neat,” or 2) You get the sh-t eaten out of you. Not worth it.
It’s like the whole Poop Cruise thing. Why not just go to a nice all-inclusive resort? It’s got the same type of amenities, tons of food and drink, and, oh, also, from my experience, HOTELS DON’T SINK OR BREAK DOWN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE OCEAN. What are you people thinking? And don’t even get me started on rogue waves. What are you going to do if one of those hits your ship? Ride a shark back to shore? Lemme know how that works out for you. Oh wait, you won’t be able to, BECAUSE YOU’LL BE DEAD. All things considered, the people who were crapping into bags for a week on a giant, glorified rowboat got off easy, if you ask me.
My point, which I have made many times before, is this: The ocean is not to be trusted. Stay on dry land.
Visit NBCNews.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy
Via @reclinergm
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/51/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/galifianakis-today-bomb-150x150.gif)
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/04/BUSEY-150x150.png)
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/04/BAMBI-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/04/panda1-150x150.jpg)
according to a quick google search the chick who rode a Great White Shark was also smoking ass hot. they’re she goes swimming out of my league on the back of a great white shark.
Ehh, she’s certainly not ugly, but she’s too skinny IMHO. I wouldn’t kick her out of bed or anything, but she could stand to eat something.
2/10 WOULD NOT BANG!
What? Tear up my bed sheets with her sharp knees!? No thank you, good sir. I will be watching “Supernatural” until I have bed sores.
that’s what i’m saying, who wants to have sex with a model/daredevil scientist when the winchester brothers are up to shenanigans. whats that dean gonna say next that scoundrel.
I got tricked into going on a cruise once. It was like being stuck in a casino in Lake Charles, Louisiana. Never again.
Also, has anyone else been having trouble view Filmdrunk? On all of my browsers (chrome, ff and IE) it is all screwed up and looks like a stripped down site circa 1993.
shit dont talk bad about Lake Charles casinos you can’t get boudin and broiled crawfish in Vegas.
I was born and raised in Lake Charles. We have a crappy Target, and even crappier Best Buy and 3 Super Wal-Marts! Our boardwalk by the lake has a real tank that children can play on! Yes, no one swims in the lake because of dumped chemicals from the oil refineries. And our cancer rates are higher than other cities, but that’s the way we like it! And our food could kick your food’s ass any day of the week! Good day sir!
I wasn’t knocking the city, just the casino’s which remind me of some type of lepper colony. Over half the people there were infirm, in wheelchairs or on Oxygen.
I think Kevin the Robot blew a fuse.
All inclusive resorts > Cruises.
I was about to watch the clip and then I was like “Whoa, pump the breaks buddy, it’s to early to ruin your day just yet”. The thought of this alone will haunt my dreams for days.
What am I supposed to do, go to Australia?
Does a shark have feeling in it’s dorsal fin?
If only it were Gordon Ramsay.
So….anyone get her number?
Hey, if Brick Tamland can ride a furry tractor I see nothing wrong here.
THE SHARKS CAN SMELL THE MESTRUATION!
How soon until the follow-up post where Cajun Boy informs us that this young lady went the way of Timothy Treadwell and Steve Irwin?
When you cross a line like this, from studying and hunting dangerous animals to essentially taunting them, it usually ends up in blood. Human blood.
I don’t want to be a dick but this is something people really shouldn’t do whether they can or not. That spate of shark attacks in the Caspian or where ever was a direct result of this shit. People being too comfortable around sharks feeding and touching them.
How disrespectful. I hope a Great White comes to her house and rides her ass. And films it.
no sir. no thank you.