Alright, folks. Confession time: Zooey Deschanel isn’t really my jam. I know, I know. As a purveyor of the internet I signed a blood oath stating she was and always will be my whimsical dream girl, but if I’m being honest and this is just between us, the sparks aren’t there. Not to say I wouldn’t make her breakfast. I just wouldn’t kill a guy for the opportunity to make her breakfast. I find myself in a lot of these Ben Wyatt-Lil’ Sebastian situations.
Enough about me though, let’s get to why you’re all here: Zooey telling Conan about her Constable Bob-esque go-bag. Unfortunately in the clip below she doesn’t reveal that it’s full of assorted weaponry that will turn people into beef stew, or really that it’s a bag at all. More that she’s just a paranoid neurotic who needs to have an escape route at all times. Let me know when she reveals that she believes she is real-life Sarah Connor or that she’s in debt to the Japanese mafia and sh*t could go down at any moment. Then we can talk muse.
Oh yeah, did I forget to mention she has new rescue dogs that she calls “mutts” but no one cares because ZOOEY DESCHANEL AND HER RESCUE DOGS? That happens too.
And here’s Conan explaining exactly what happened when Jennifer Lawrence took a spill at the Oscars in case you’re in the same boat with me on Zooey.
“How did that old French lady get a longneck in there?” Now that’s what I’m talking about.
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And just like Ben, you are SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO wrong, my friend.
Lil’ Sebastian > Zooey Emily
Lil’ Sebastian is only an analogy. I totally get Lil’ S.
I’ve never thought about it before but I think I’m #TeamEmily
I rescued a dog recently. When is Conan going to have ME on?
[cajunboy.tumblr.com]
Gimme’ your wardrobe, Zooey Deschanel.
You never know when you may have to jam, Conan.
And here’s Conan explaining exactly what happened when Jennifer Lawrence took a spill at the Oscars in case you’re in the same boat with me on Zooey.
My understanding is that Silver Linings Playbook is a movie about Philadelphia Eagles fans, so that behavior actually seems like a perfectly appropriate way to celebrate the film’s success.
Wait, didn’t she cut her hair short? When did this air? I always just KNEW that shit was fake.
Since when does Warming Glow use “adorakable” in anything but a deprecating fashion? Higher standards, guys.
The usage wasn’t intended to be complimentary and/or condoning.
…. and anyone construing it to be such will be held in contempt.
I’m guessing you’re also going to post a story about Conan’s clueless gamer bit on Tomb Raider, which would make 3 stories about last night’s show. Not bad Coco.
I’m confused. Is this saying “mutts” is offensive somehow? Thats weird.