The New York Post ran an “exclusive report” this weekend about La Toya Jackson “seizing” the careers of Michael Jackson’s kids. It was basically just shameless rumor-mongering and the writer saying “Seriously, you guys, what bitch, right?” over and over for a couple hundred words, but there was one semi-interesting tidbit buried within the acres of shade: In addition to signing the deals that put Michael’s son, Prince, on Entertainment Tonight and 90210, and his daughter, Paris, in movies or something, La Toya is also shopping a reality show about the kids, and people are apparently throwing money at her.
The coup de grâce for La Toya, who gets a standard 15 percent commission on each deal, would be a reality TV show deal she’s negotiating. Insiders said bidding has approached $10 million.
OWN, Oprah Winfrey’s network, is thought to be the front-runner to land the series that would feature Jacko’s children, La Toya and cameos by family matriarch Katherine. [NY Post]
To recap: The minor children of a famously troubled former child star are allegedly being pimped out by his somehow even kookier sister, and a famous billionaire who is about to deliver the commencement speech at Harvard might cut the check to enable it. This is so depressing. Can someone please swoop down in goddamn helicopter, scoop these poor kids up, and finish raising them in some sleepy Midwestern suburb. Literally any sleepy suburb will do. Sure, it’s technically kidnapping, but I think we all know that no jury in the land would convict you. You wouldn’t even need to mount a real defense. You could just gesture toward La Toya and say “Your honor, c’mon. What are we doing here?” and the case would be dismissed by lunch.
The only positive part of this story is that, while I was writing it, I found a picture on Shutterstock of La Toya Jackson talking to Bruce Vilanch, and it might be the funniest thing I’ve ever seen.
Photo credit: s_bukley/Shutterstock
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Of course, what tyranically guarded, incredibly sheltered kids shouldn’t be put on display for the world to pick apart by their money-grubbing relatives? It’s nature at work.
Gotta be Dina Lohan’s idea.
Hopefully they’ll contact Kris Jenner to get an early copy of her “I Exploited My Kids and You Can Too” how to guide so they can get this done right.
So, um, how old is Paris? I’m asking for a friend.
I think I may have the same friend.
Er, I mean Latoya Jackson is just awedul!
*aweful
they’re not even his kids. which makes you wonder why joe and co don’t sue to disinherit them. i suppose its more fun to just defraud the poor bastards. still, on the bright side they are jackson dna free. that’s gotta be good news
Thank you Happy Endings for that Halloween episode, I’ll forever use this gif when it comes to anything Latoya.
And you thought letting kids around Michael was a bad idea.
*rimshot*
That’s right folks, I ain’t tell ashamed to go after the obviously low hanging fruit.