Just as we were starting to like human goat impersonator Taylor Swift — thanks mainly to her duet with Nicolas Cage — she had to go and personally sentence Tina Fey and Amy Poehler to hell for daring to gently mock her from the stage at the Golden Globes.
“You know, Katie Couric is one of my favorite people,” Taylor Swift tells Vanity Fair contributing editor Nancy Jo Sales on the subject of mean girls in general and in response to an incident at the Golden Globes, where Amy Poehler and Tina Fey mocked her scrutinized love life. “Because she said to me she had heard a quote that she loved, that said, ‘There’s a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women.’” (Via)
A reminder of that devastating day…
Here’s what I think happened: Taylor Swift met Amy Poehler and Will Arnett at some fancy entertainment party about a year ago. T-Swift, a huge Wristcutters: A Love Story fan, instantly fell for Arnett, so to get around his unfortunate marriage to one of the world’s two most perfect women (the other being, of course, Tina Fey), she drugged him and took revealing photos with his naked body, because she’s a demon from a Guillermo del Toro movie. Swift mailed the photos to Poehler, who then separated with Arnett, temporarily destroying the concept of “love.” Ever since, Arnett’s been trying to convince Poehler nothing happened, Poehler’s been making fun of Swift in highly public settings, and Swift’s cackling at her scheme, stopping only to drop glittery breadcrumb clues to her contemptuous relationship with Poehler in the hallowed proverbial halls of Vanity Fair.
Either that, or she is a very, very confused young woman.
UPDATE: Amy Poehler responds: “Aw, I feel bad if she was upset. I am a feminist, and she is a young and talented girl. That being said, I do agree I am going to hell. But for other reasons. Mostly boring tax stuff. ”
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Rage.
Taylor Swift has been slowly getting closer to the rage I feel when I hear or see any Kardashian. After this she has jumped the shark. You stay away from Amy and Tina you dirty dirty whore.
ooh, that’s a good way to put it. Bieber and mainly, his adolescent scumbag twitter followers (plus their parents) are also up there on the Kardashian-hate level for me.
Whoa, whoa. I hate T-Swift as much as the next person, but let’s go easy on the ‘whore’ talk.
But seriously though, she should stay away from the perfection that is Tina and Amy.
Easy on the whore talk? She’s like 23 and been mentioned with 15-20 different men. If not a whore, she is an incredibly clingy, shitty girlfriend with whorish tendencies.
^
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
As much as I hate Swift… can’t help but notice the double standards on the “whore” thing. Give me a break with that shit.
GROAN.
You’re successful. And, despite your apparent lack of maturity, you’re a grown woman. Take a joke, T. Swift.
What pisses me off is if she just owned her dating history and was up front about it instead of trying to play the victim she wouldn’t be getting so much shit.
also her bangs make her face look weird. her and Miley Cyrus need to go away forever.
Her next album, “Redder” will consist of twelve musical numbers, with titles such as “30 Rock Ruined My Life,” “Arrested Development Forced Him to Cheat,” and “Who Needs A Baby Mama?”
Also “Mean Girls,” because twelve songs is a lot to write.
and as T Swift got huffy, her personal assistant strapped a bag of oats around her head until she ate something and calmed down.
OK for Taylor to mock her exes in songs, bad for Tina and Amy for calling her out for it…I think I get it she is a hypocrite
“Hey, we have the same genitalia! If you don’t help me, the devil should torture you for eternity.”
I’m okay with hell if Tina and Amy are gonna be there. Sign me up!
But they’ll have a special place there. You’ll be stuck in the cheap seats, with the usurers and the people who didn’t agree with Mel Gibson about everything.
Yeah, but all you have to do is just not support women, and you can go there as well!
Fully onboard with TSwif. Poehler and Fey have been getting away with this kind of shit for far too long.
lol wut?
What kind of shit, exactly? Making jokes? Because that’s their forte`.
no really, wut??
YEAH WOMENS MAKING JOKES ABOUT WOMENS ISN’T FUNNY YO
I’m gonna have to save that lure, sure is good for trolling
Oh you…
That’s some good trolling son. Damn good trolling.
Jerkstore.
TROLLOLOLOLOLOLOL
*Half bow*
If nothing else, this gave you an excuse to post Amy Poehler dot sideboob dot gif.
So there’s that.
I’ve said this before, but if that Kanye shit happened right now we’d all think it was hilarious. Dude’s just ahead of his time.
I would totally stand and cheer.
Thank God for that yellow comment bar because I was just writing this.
That truly was the 808s & Heartbreak of public interruptions.
Do you guys think this means that Kim Kardashian is actually a good person?
/can’t even type that with a straight face
yeah, lets not get crazy.
Thank you for this, Lunchbox.
Here to help. And waste time.
Well said, Lunchbox.
We were so young and naive.
I always found it hilarious.
Ugh. Don’t be an enabler, Couric.
I sure do hope she quoted that line to Swift about some other situation and Swift is just applying it to this one. Because I was pretty sure that Couric had a sense of humor.
Or maybe it was Couric talking about some situation in the Middle East or something about female castration and gang rape and Swift decided to apply it to two comedians making a light rib at her.
So I just tried clicking that link and reading the story, and the whole thing seems to be Vanity Fair speculating on her love life mostly through “Anonymous sources authorized to discuss Swift’s relationships”.
1. What does that even mean
2. when did Vanity Fair become US weekly, I thought vanity fair was supposed to be the classy one.
1. No one knows what that means………but its provocative……..It gets the people going……………….
And in the female category of musician needing to fuck off, the winner is…..TAYLOR SWIFT!!
Only because having Madonna win it year after year was getting goddamned tedious.
In fairness to Madonna, she hasn’t been much of a musician for decades now.
I’ve been on the “We Hate Taylor” train for a while now. She can’t really sing, her songs are all the same, and I really don’t think life as a pretty, rich white girl is all that fucking difficult.
Get on board, internet. There’s plenty of room.
Agreed, she is a terrible singer. The fact that all these guys dump her should signal to her that SHE is the problem.
I’ll admit, I find her songs on the radio catchy. But when she appears on TV to sing live…
*picks up the remote*
I agree with Silent blues…. I’ve hated her from day one, but I do have to admit that pop music is poppy (crawls into your brraaaiiinn…..) but she’s always just so damned annoying…
Taylor:
You are a good looking woman with a decent voice. However, you have the mentality of a 13 year old. Enjoy the success you have until you (a) get old or (b) your fans find a new singer
AMEN
I’m pretty tight with God and that just doesn’t seem like something he would do.
Super-God would totally be down with that kind of thing though.
I’ve been fully on board the T-Swift hate train for a long time now, but no one here has mentioned the other part of this story; Katie Couric.
Isn’t she essentially doing the exact same to Fey and Poehler by undercutting them on a national scale? I definitely wouldn’t call it support, anyway.
I’m hoping Katie Couric just said that in some other context, and not about the Tina-Amy-Taylor NON-incident, cause really Katie?
I also think it’s funny that anyone could ever accuse Tina Fey and Amy Poehler of cutting down women. I guess it’s opposite day!
Plain and simple, Taylor Swift is batshit insane.
Can she just date Chris Brown already?
How long until Katie Couric releases a statement/disclaimer distancing herself from this bullshit?
not sure why this ended up as a reply, oh well, sorry.
I’ve seen this before many times in movies. Swift, Fey and Poheler need to get together in a private room, have a couple of bottles of wine and then bang it out. Fey and Amy will teach Taylor a lesson she’ll never forget. .. . and video tape it. That’s the most important part.
Must… keep… both hands… on keyboard…
Sploosh!
How were they supposed to help Taylor Swift? Tell her not to write a song or gloat about every time she breaks up with a guy?
I’ve hated the ferret for quite a while
Me and Kanye and were just ahead of our time
sigh
Amy Poehler gave an amazing response because she’s Amy Poehler and of course she did.
[www.vulture.com]
Heh.
Oh wow, now I find out she’s committed usury. You certainly are headed that way Amy.
Why can’t Tina Fey and Amy Poehler host everything?
Learn to take an effing joke. That is why I like Justin Timberlake so much. I didn’t really care for his music, but when he first appeared on SNL and was able to make fun of and humiliate himself, it really shows a great side to him. All these other celebrities who can’t take a joke either need to lighten up or get outta the biz…
This, a thousand times. I still don’t like his music, but I give him serious credit for being able to laugh at himself.
I actually became a very slight fan of his music because he’s such a cool dude. He’s definitely the template the rest should follow.
That .gif makes her look like the skinny girl that Anna Nicole Smith ate in the mid-90s
taylor swift is the new jennifer aniston hot enough but she is a damn wreck.
except she’s not hot at all
Everytime I hear Taylor Swift “sing” about one of her 173 ex-boyfriends, I feel like I’m already in hell.
bat. shit. crazy. all of her ex’s should get royalties because every song of hers is about one of them.
that said, call me taylor.
That seems like solid logic. Let’s see if I can apply it to other things.
There’s a special place in hell for white people who don’t help other white people
There’s a special place in hell for lawyers who don’t help other lawyers
There’s a special place in hell for mathletes who don’t help other mathletes
Well that logic is solid. I’ve tried it out and it works across the board without any issues. She ain’t squint-eyed crazy in the slightest.
I sure hope Kevin G isn’t there.
So….. poking fun at a famous entertainer = “not helping her”. Ok got it, this bitch is retarded.
She’s in a Bieber type bubble where no one tells her anything she doesn’t want to hear. I still can’t get over that yellow, studded hat. I’d like to break that kids jaw.
are we starting a line for that? Because…. I want to get in line…
Old folks call that FOX News. BOOM! Politics!
“Just as we were starting to like…” I’m not sure this was happening.
I’m not a woman, but I can help Taylor Swift:
Stop dating guys and writings songs about them.
I’ll add to that: start dating girls and definitely write songs about it.
You Can’t Stab Me in the Back (With These Scissors)
Says the woman who spends all her time singing about women taking her men okay maybe not all the time but a lot of it.
She can go suck it. Its an Honor to be slammed by Tina and Amy. A FUCKING HONOR.
Agreed! If I got busted on by either Tina or Amy (especially both at the same time) it would be a day I celebrate the rest of my life.
Like I said above, she’s like 23 and been mentioned with 15-20 different men. If not a whore, she is an incredibly clingy, shitty girlfriend with whorish tendencies.
I’m just saying, when she hits 30 no one will care who she think is going to hell.
And then come the dog and husband killings.
So I got curious about that quote from Katie Couric, and it turns out it’s actually from a Madeleine Albright speech that was given with the WNBA All Decade team. In 2006.
The headline seems to take a bit of a license in paraphrasing what Swift said. The actual quote could very well have been spoken in a humorous manner, much like Fey and Pohler’s ribbing you are quick to call “gentle” (which, out of context, could also be perceived as violent threats.) I mean, she doesn’t even mention “God” but there it is leading the headline, which despite the lack of quotation marks, is written with such confidence that it will likely be taken as a direct quote. Seems irresponsible.
I agree with the person who created their account specifically to defend taylor swift. Violent threats? Really?
No… not really. The point is that *out of context* you could whip up a sensational headline that says “Tina Fey and Amy Poehler drunkenly demand that Taylor Swift stay away from Michael J. Fox, Jr.”. That doesn’t exactly describe what happened, much like Taylor Swift didn’t say what the headline of this article suggests.
I’m not defending her at all–I just think headlines should be a little less hyperbolic, especially when 99% of people don’t read past them. “Taylor Swift reacts to Fey and Poehler’s joke” works just fine.
I think you’re on the wrong website.
Oh I’m sorry T-Swift, you got poked fun at by two of the top female comedians and role models in modern history (all history by my standards). YOU SHOULD BE SO FUCKING LUCKY.