Yesterday, The Smoking Section reported on a story in which an aspiring rapper had attempted to take the life of a friend as a blood sacrifice in order to join the Illuminati, a secret society that purportedly has a huge influence on world events and is particularly influential in the music industry, more specifically hip hop.
What was particularly unusual about the story is that El-Amini, the aspiring rapper who attempted to shoot his friend in the head, is the rare person -- aside from conspiracy theorists and nutters -- to acknowledge the existence of the modern Illuminati. Of course, El-Amini was high, and has put forth no evidence that the Illuminati actually exists, but his trial -- scheduled for June -- will not only explore the existence of the Illuminati, but will delve into the notion the Illuminati has control over the success of some performers. That portion of the trial should take about 15 seconds.
I've been doing a lot of research on the Illuminati over the past few days, and aside from the completely insane theories proffered by nutters, there is almost nothing to suggest that the Illuminati actually exists. It did exist in the 18th century, as a secret organization designed to "oppose superstition, prejudice, religious influence over public life, abuses of state power, and to support women's education and gender equality," but there's very little evidence to suggest that such an organization exists today, at least in numbers enough to matter. It's a fake entity people like Mark Dice claim exist to explain changes in culture (or what many of us call "progress"). Conspiracy theorist cite the Illuminati's influence in contributing to our culture's “extreme materialism, spiritual vacuosity and a self-centered, individualistic existence,” which is anti-Illuminati code for godlessness, gender equality, gay rights, and liberalism.
In other words, while the Illuminati does not exist, anti-Illuminati organizations like Vigilant Citizen, Truth Squad, and Media Exposed, and people like William Fawell, DJ Conservo, Glenn Beck, and Dice do. They're best described as extreme right wing nutjobs, racists, Tea Party members, and homophobes, and they allege these Illuminati conspiracies to frighten dumb people into believing that the entertainment industry and President Obama (among others) are attempting to establish a New World Order to convert everyone into homosexuals and provide a front for the rise of the Antichrist. Apparently, Queen Elizabeth is the head of the modern Illuminati, and celebrities use Twitter as a front for their Satanic alter-identities.
Naturally.
But there's a flip side to it, as well. Many in the hip-hop community (or at least, people who want to belong to the hip-hop community) believe in the existence of the Illuminati, as well, and claim right wingers like Glenn Beck -- the very people who spin these Illuminati conspiracy theories -- are actually running the secret society. They believe the Illuminati is responsible for the deaths of Michael Jackson, Tupac, Biggie, and practically every other dead rapper or musician of the last 20 years, which basically leaves Jay-Z. Why isn't he dead? Because he joined forces with the Illuminati! Jay-Z is responsible for those deaths, and he is spreading the Illuminati message through his music, his music videos, his clothing line, and through his wife, Beyonce. El-Amini probably wanted to sacrifice his friend as an easy pathway to success. He was willing to sell his soul to the Alex Jones types in order to gain success in the music industry, just as he believes Jay-Z did.
There's a lot of contradiction in Illuminati theories. The more you read about it, the less it makes sense. There is no through-line. As Max Read wrote, Illuminati theories are basically introduced by all kinds of crazy people to help explain "why things aren't going their way."
Indeed, Illuminati conspiracy theorists are able to find evidence that almost anyone belongs to the Illuminati if they look hard enough. If you cover one eye with your hair? You're in the Illuminati. Flash a certain sign? Illuminati. Inadvertently expose your genitalia to the paparazzi? Illuminati. Some people, like Jay-Z, actually play into the conspiracy theories: It creates a sense of mystery. It helps to sell records. And it provides a lot of material for rap lyrics. That's fine, too -- it's all part of being an entertainer -- until someone like El-Amini tries to shoot his friend in the face to be a part of an organization that doesn't exist.
But there are some FANTASTICALLY insane theories. Many of them revolve around Jay-Z and Beyonce, and you'd have to have been squirreled away under a rock earlier this year -- during Beyonce's Super Bowl performance, specifically -- to have avoided hearing about them. Ignoring the conspiracy theories surrounding Jay-Z and Beyonce specifically (which could fill an entire 1,500 page novel), here are the The Craziest, Most Insane Conspiracy Theories I ran across this week, including Blue Ivy, the daughter of Jay-Z and Beyonce.
Boy Meets World and Pretty Little Liars
I'll be honest. I'm having a hell of a time making sense of this, but the genesis for this post came from a comment left by a guy named Keegan Allen on UPROXX's Facebook page.
This is the DM message to which he refers, an exchange between "Pretty Little Liars" cast members, Ashley Benson and Shay Mitchell.
Then another cast member, Tammin Sursok, allegedly retweeted this.
How does that Retweet relate to the DM conversation. This person clearly has the answer:
I DON’T THINK TAMMIN SURSOK WOULD JUST RANDOMLY SEARCH ILLUMINATI UP ON TWITTER AND RETWEET A RANDOM QUOTE. THERE IS A REASON WHY SHE RETWEETED IT FOR A CERTAIN REASON. SHE SEEN THE SCREENCAP HERSELF BECAUSE OTHER PEOPLE TOLD HER. SUCH AS FROM OTHER CAST MEMBERS, CREW MEMBERS, PRODUCERS/DIRECTORS, FANS, THEIR FRIENDS, OR EVEN POSSIBLY FROM FAMILY MEMBERS. SHE UNDERSTOOD WHAT THEY’VE GONE THROUGH WITH THEIR LIVES AND THEIR CAREERS SO SHE RETWEETED THAT TWEET BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT THEY’VE BEEN GOING THROUGH AND THAT’S WHAT THEY HAVE TO DO TO GET TO ANOTHER LEVEL. Why would Tammin Sursok retweet this illuminati quote? Because Shay Mitchell and Ashley Benson made mistakes and relating to the quote “Errors are stepping stones that will take you from where you are to where you want to be”.
Basically meaning that they must make “Errors” meaning doing evil/bad things and making mistakes in their life that the good people do not find acceptable. Such as rituals, sacrifices, continuing the agenda for new world order, promoting satanism in their life, in their photos, and in their TV show for the illuminati to rise in the ranks in Freemasonry. And “stepping stones” meaning to take another step up through each Freemason degree so they can obtain more fame, money, authority, and become more acknowledged in their industry.
Whaaaaaa? And how does Boy Meets World's Danielle Fishel tie into all of this? I have NO idea, except that Keegan Allen says that she is "involved in the situation." This is how the mind of a Illuminati conspiracy theorists works, I suppose. Here's Topanga on the phone with Satan, obviously.
Taylor Swift
Swift has not only had made her Illuminati beliefs known during several performances, but the confrontation between her and Kanye West -- who was manipulated by Beyonce, who was manipulated by Jay-Z -- at the Grammys was completely staged in service of the New World Order.
Kanye: big bad out of control, angry Black guy hurts innocent virginesque Taylor. Crowd is outraged. Emotions run high. Security is ordered to boot Kanye (by those in the know and Kanye is also in the know). Final curtain call: pontificate, with a compassion worthy of Quan-Yin, almost reminiscent of yesteryear's Deus ex-Machina, Beyonce sacrifices her grand talented self in her ultimate moment of altruistic selflessness and becomes the quintessential Black goddess as she bestows her time back upon the innocent "child", aka Taylor Swift. The crowd goes wild. Injustice had been created and in an instant, she restored the peace and now Justice has been served and in the process major catharsis has been achieved on a global level! We all felt good at the end, didn't we?
All those of us who have been outraged by Michael Jackson's death and the way he has been exploited transferred those outraged feelings onto Taylor (the new "victim") and the instant Beyonce so "graciously" and "selflessly" conceded her time to her, she became the Angel of Justice and bestowed upon us the catharsis (that is to say, the relief of our all our anger and outrage via righteous retribution & goodness prevailing once again) we haven't experienced, and are not likely to feel any time soon when it comes to Michael Jackson's mistreatment by the press. This was huge and a carefully orchestrated moment by near-genuises!!! Too bad they only use their brains for profit!
Beyonce didn't mind sacrificing her moment, she had a much bigger role to play: all glory and credit go to her, none of us knowing that she was the *evil* (wink, wink there is NO illuminati) mastermind behind the hurting of Taylor Swift in the first place.
The Illuminati Killed Whitney Houston as a Sacrifice for Beyonce's Child, Blue Ivy
From Nairaland.com:
The occult point to the numerology of Houston’s passing. “Do you think its [sic] ironik [sic] she died in 2012 at the age of 48, 4 + 8 = 12!!! Illuminati like to do these sorts of things as a death ritual as they believe everything has to be done on a certain day.” Some are saying the 11th is an occult date, with other famous people like Bob Marley, Alexander McQueen and Sylvia Plath dying on that day. Nicki Minaj’s outfit to the 2012 Grammys had a face embroidered on the skirt in black beads. Conspiracy theorists think this was Whitney Houston’s. Blue Ivy needed a blood sacrifice.
Of course, Blue Ivy's name apparently only supports that theory. From TopSecretWriters:
“Ivy” apparently refers to “I-lluminati’s V-ery Y-oungest”, and Blue means “B-orn L-iving U-nder E-vil”. Apparently, a few folks even spelled her name backwards – Eulb Yvi – which is apparently Latin for “Lucifer’s Daughter.”
Aha!
Dave Chappelle
Though he didn't mention the Illuminati by name, Chappelle referred to the "sick environment" in Hollywood that led to Martin Lawrence's meltdown and stroke. Conspiracy theorists believe that "sick environment" is code for the Illuminati. Apparently, Chappelle himself was forced out of the business because the $50 million contract he was offered by Comedy Central came with an important string attached: Ritual sodomy. Katt Williams also refused to be sodomized, which is why his career spiraled.
Anne Hathaway
According to this site, Anne Hathaway's decision to expose her breasts in a couple of film roles was an Illuminati ritual that led to the shootings in Aurora, Colorado during a The Dark Knight screening. When Anne Hathaway unwittingly revealing her vagina to paparazzi last year, that was a coded message that led to the Newton, CT shootings. She was rewarded with an Oscar.
Keanu Reeves
The death of Keanu Reeves' girlfriend in a car accident was a blood sacrifice to appease The Illuminati. His movie, Constantine, was apparently Illuminati propaganda.
Heath Ledger Was Killed by the Illuminati
The last movie that Heath Ledger made, The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus, apparently contained "obvious" Illuminati imagery, and according to Randy Quaid, Hollywood insiders -- or the Illuminati -- killed Heath Ledger. Moreover, a leading Illuminati promoter, Jack Nicholson, had warned Ledger beforehand. Quaid also believes these "Hollywood Insiders" or "star whackers" (or Illuminati) control the banking system, had David Carradine and Chris Penn killed, and is targeting him, which is why he fled to Canada.
River Phoenix Was Made a Blood Sacrifice by the Illuminati
From Media Exposed:
River Phoenix overdosed, mysteriously died on Halloween Night. (Blood Sacrifice). River Phoenix violated the cult’s stricture of secrecy by discussing his early sexuality with reporters. He was killed to prevent talking out about the cult.
Joaquin Phoenix Forewarned The End of the World Via 'Boy Meets World'
Joaquin is apparently still a member of the New World Order -- a Monarch Slave sold into the Illuminati by his family -- and as such, apparently has some inside information about the end of the world. He posted this final scene of Boy Meets World on his Facebook fan page as a forewarning. It's a cleverly coded farewell.
Walt Disney
Walt Disney was a leading figure of the Illuminati, and used his empire to disseminate his Satanic messages (Mickey Mouse was modeled after his likeness). Walt Disney's interest in children was not altruistic; he was a pedophile, a lover snuff porn films, and he uses Illuminati symbols to control the minds of children and indoctrinate them into his Occult.
Miley Cyrus
Cyrus is just one of many "sex kittens" created by the Disney empire to control children. She may or may not know she is being controlled by the Illuminati, but it's clear from the reversed messages in her music that she is spreading evil. Played backwards, it's OBVIOUS one of her songs says, "Feel more horny. You're horny see. You hoes better listen. You also eat pu**y molester. God it's sweet."
There's an entire, lengthy, incoherent post here about Miley's sex-slave status, and how her twinning plays into the Illuminati. The level of crazy in that post borders on sociopathic. Selena Gomez has also apparently been preprogrammed by the Illuminati.
Justin Bieber
So, Bieber's paternal grandparents are German immigrants and the Ashkenazi surname "Bieber" is original from Bavaria, "the original crib of the modern Illuminati":
First found in Bavaria, where the name Bieber was closely identified in early mediaeval times with the feudal society of early European history. The name would later emerge as a noble family with great influence, having many distinguished branches, and become noted for its involvement in social, economic and political affairs.
Bieber also recently got a tattoo of the "Owl of Moloch," which can also be seen on the dollar bill and was a god worshipped by the Phoenicians and Canaanites that had associations with a particular kind of child sacrifice by parents.
Kristin Stewart Sexually Initiated by Jodie Foster
According to Hollywood Illumaniti, Jodie Foster -- who attends the lesbian occult rituals up in Belgium along with Hillary Clinton (who is also part French) and Ellen DeGeneres (yet another French Illuminati Sorceress) locked Kristen Stewart up her her home for days:
due to being possessed by a female demon (lillith in Jewish texts but Aradia in Pagan-Celtic), while Jodie Foster used a sexual device on her, in order to initiate Kristen Stewart into the click. This event took place a few months before Jodie Foster and Kristen Stewart started filming the Panic Room Film and it was arranged by the Hollywood Studio System. Using a sexual device aka dildo on a virgin girl is not uncommon in the occult, in fact even in Wiccan Initiation this type of ritual takes place.
The Film Cruel Intentions Is a Blueprint for Illuminati Indoctrination
Again, from Hollywood Illuminati:
Even if we watch the film Cruel Intentions with Reese Witherspoon and Sarah Michelle Gellar, we see the efforts being made by Hollywood Illuminati to destroy Christianity. We see everything from a cross that is really used to hold cocaine, which Sarah sniffs, we see lesbian scenes and even a scene with an actress dancing after being initiated, by Sarah’s character, into a secret society.
The film Cruel Intentions really was a subtle blue print for what really goes on around Hollywood. When it comes to female Illuminati, we always find these strong dominant women that portray themselves as vulnerable, funny, normal and innocent to the public aka Ellen DeGeneres and Jodie Foster but behind the scenes these same women prey upon the young starlets that are handed over to them by the Hollywood Illuminati Studio System.
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I feel stupider for having read all of this.
My mind got numb before I even got halfway through it…probably just the way the Illuminati planned it!
This is the only New World Order I’ve ever believed in. NWO4Life.
You’re right. Look at what happened to the people who abandoned it. 3 are dead, and all but Hogan have no career. Its because Hogan sacrificed his daughter to Jodie Foster and Hillary Clinton.
Wolfpack in the hooooouse!
too SWEEEEEEEET!!!
I saw Mark Dice on Brad Meltzer’s Decoded on The History Channel claiming The Statue of Liberty is a symbol of the Illuminati. It was weird.
The History Channel is owned by A&E, which is jointly owned by Disney and the Hearst Corporation… and yet they can’t shut Mark Dice up? These Illuminati guys are pretty incompetent for all-powerful world dictators.
@Schultheiss It’s all part of their master plan. EVERYTHING IS A CONSPIRACY
Fnord.
“When Anne Hathaway unwittingly revealing her vagina to paparazzi last year, that was a coded message that led to the Newton, CT shootings. She was rewarded with an Oscar.”
Pfft, if flashing your crotch got anybody an Oscar, I’d be up to here with fucking Oscars. *points to crotch*
TINFOIL HATS FOR EVERYBODY!
And I thought that Vigilant Citizen was a parody of Illuminati conspiracy theorists. Either way, it’s pretty hilarious.
of course the Illuminati are real. and they’e ordered the the popular rock band, The American Medical Association, to emmanentize the escheton and kill us all. humanity’s last hope lies in Hagbard Celine and his golden submarine. duh.
I think I’d dig a lot more of these theories if they were written by people who spoke English fluently. But my real name is Eulb Yvi, so YOU’D EXPECT THAT OF ME.
It’s obvious from this article that you are in the Illuminati, Dustin Rowles, or should I say Doctor X grabs Dustin by the cheeks REMOVE THAT MASK!
The male members of the Royal Family are all Freemasons. How does that square with QE2 being the boss of the Illuminati?
although that would explain how miley cirus, Justin bieber and Kristen stewart are famous
Can someone explain why people would give public shoutouts to a secret society?
The idea – as far as I can tell – is that they have some weird honour system that requires them to broadcast their intentions before they do something, so it can’t be claimed that they lied. Also, brainwashing?
To seem cooler/ smarter. Seriously, why do celebs do most of the things they do?
Anne Hathaway’s pussy may kill kids……but her face kills me…..
didn’t read lol
but I am surprised that Corey Feldman and Corey Haim being victims of Hollywood pedophiles was not on this list, what are you trying to hide Dustin? Are you part of the Hollywood pedo ring?
A large scale Hollywood Pedo Society makes more sense than the Illuminati still existing does.
I was all aboard and ready to go Illuminati hunting but then that Gellar and Blair photo gave me a boner so I’m stuck at my desk for a few minutes. Was that an illuminati trick, Dustin?
I know the GTrammy’s are a joke, but are they bad enough to confuse with the MTV Video awards?
Dustin, dammit the first thing you were told at the meeting was not to talk about it! (that’s where Fight Club (our greatest PR movie btw) got their rules.)
Give me back the decoder ring. And return the dildo to Jodie, please.
+1
Nothing backs up your case like typing in all caps.
Man, I’m really loving this new Cyrus jam. She should release all of her stuff backwards.
damn you boy meets world, im a 30 year old man, i shouldnt be sobbing like a baby
If it helps you make sense of everything, I can explain what happened at my first Illuminati initiation when I was sold into sex slavery by my parents to pay for…oh, hold on, there’s somebody at the door.
…
I’m back! EVERYTHING I JUST SAID WAS A LIE CARRY ON WITH YOUR DAY ALL CHILDREN MUST WATCH GIRL MEETS WORLD HOVA ROCAFELLA Y’ALL
shoulda posted the theory of aaliyah plane crash was damon dash sacrifice to the illuminati so that jayz could become richer and famous then leave him.
look into former public enemy member named professor griff on youtube, he has by far the wildest theorys ive ever heard.
“There’s a lot of contradiction in Illuminati theories.”
Get right the fuck out of here! Really?
Nothing says secret society like a twitter account #Illuminati #YOLO
They hide in plain sight.
My favorite part about conspiracy theorist is their acceptance to easily believe off the wall shit, but their refusing to believe any logical rebuttal. The typical response to a well thought, completely reasonable argument against the Illuminati is:
BAAAAAH! YOU FUCKING SHEEP!
Nope more like that goofy “absence of evidence is not evidence of absence”.
sheep
No mention of Tila Tequila and her insane rants about the Illuminati granting humans superpowers and controlling our minds and doing other heinous things like BLOCKING OUR FACEBOOK POSTS? For shame. I figured you guys would cover it at least for a banner pic of her in a bikini.
The only thing I took out of all of this was that Feeny clearly molested the 4 kids in slide 10.
That, and I wish I was the one who got to sodomize Anne Hathaway into initiation.
How many of you even know about your “Third Eye” or Pineal Gland?
If the Illuminati is a thing, where do I sign up? I can bring lots of things* to the table.
*mostly fleas
you’ll have to kill a newborn baby
“The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist.”
- Keyser “Illuminati” Soze
exactly
For as much as I dislike Kristen Stewart’s acting, I wouldn’t mind gently fucking her with a dildo. She’s not bad looking, and perhaps it would give her face a different expression!
She IS bad looking. Very much so.
She may not be your cup of tea, but I don’t think she’s outright ugly. Very few people in Hollywood are *actually* conventionally ugly.
Stonecutters >> Illuminati
Illuminati is fake it was made up by Stan Lee
lol i think illuminati had sumtin to do with that poor girl who ate her own pooh and piss out of a blender! so Gross!! google IMRECKLESS to see the video..its graphic
sheep fantastic
93
well, let’s just get to the marrow of the facts that the Illuminati was simply a kneejerk reaction to the freemasons developing the new lands in america and leaving the UK and eastern europe behind.
they were disbanded within ten years of becoming a so called “secret society” – and any sect claiming to be one is just using the same scare tactics freemasons used in colonial american times.
freemasons learned that nearly everyone feared hellfire and damnation – so satanism more than anything was used it as a front by way of rumours to keep their meetings from being spied on.
there is no “new world order”.
-
somewhere, somehow, these hip hop fools caught a marathon on the history channel and decided to co-opt the entire concept the same way they have pillaged entire songs and samples from music. why is this so shocking? it’s an image for them. and it’s fake.
any since there has been some allegations about the beatles being illuminati, that is false as well. although george & ringo’s fathers were both members of the oddfellows.
i’ve accept the fact that there is a newly implied fear with anything people see as “illuminati symbolism” because it’s seemingly a new discovery for them. it’s not anything new for me since i’ve been a practicing member of thelema & hermeticism for years now. confusion and fear relating to a persons beliefs or practices isn’t so odd when you consider that romans were feeding christians to lions a few thousand years ago.
93/93/93
I believe the Taylor Swift and Walt Disney ones. Everything else, nah.
This Beyonce picture doesn’t make me think of the Illuminati. It makes me think of Diamond Dallas Page.
Why not new world order?
So those who do believe call you sheep yet you call them crazy, pshyco, tin foil hats, nut jobs, conspiracy theorists, wacko etc… If you all are wrong about your insistence that none of this is true, then your already drowning while Noah’s in the boat looking for higher ground. If any of its true this is serious stuff not to be dismissed, laughed at or ridiculed but history has shown the masses do this time and again, drowning in their arrogant dismissiveness.
Don’t you just love it when they get louder about how insane you are the closer to the truth you get?! Keep it goin people!
Dustin, you need to look into Aleister Crowley, famous for “Do what thou wilt” and listen to Jay-z “D’evils” and read JFK Last speech “For we are opposed around the world by a monolithic and ruthless conspiracy that relies on covert means for expanding its sphere of influence–on infiltration instead of invasion, on subversion instead of elections, on intimidation instead of free choice, on guerrillas by night instead of armies by day. It is a system which has conscripted vast human and material resources into the building of a tightly knit, highly efficient machine that combines military, diplomatic, intelligence, economic, scientific and political operations.
“Its preparations are concealed, not published. Its mistakes are buried not headlined. Its dissenters are silenced, not praised. No expenditure is questioned, no rumor is printed, no secret is revealed.” -JFK HMMMM What is he saying??? 7 days before he was killed and he also said this “One day after I am long gone, you will remember me and say, we should have stopped the nuclear program of Israel, abolished the Federal Reserve and kicked all secret societies, occultists, usurpers and Zionists out of our wonderful country, to keep it that way, but it is never too late, just remember that”. HMM Better research needed