New Girl (Fox, 9 p.m.) — Here’s the TV Guide description: “Schmidt and Winston plan to sabotage Cece’s wedding …” Yay! Cece won’t be getting married! “… but a surprise announcement throws an additional wrench into the plans.” Damnit. Someone put a pin in that. Also, Nick and Jess DTR tonight.
Awkward (MTV, 10 p.m.) — And if you’re under 25 and want to know what “DTR” means, you’ll have to watch the charming coming-of-age series starring the too-goddamn-cute Ashley Rickards.
The Mindy Project (Fox, 9:30) — Mindy Kaling tweets, of her considerably improved sitcom:”Tonight’s finale of #themindyproject is f**king awesome and I don’t swear unless totally necessary. Especially the last 2 minutes.” Please don’t kiss Danny in the last two minutes. Please don’t kiss Danny in the last two minutes. Please don’t kiss Danny in the last two minutes.
NCIS (CBS, 8 p.m.) — CBS better enjoy the ratings they get tonight from television’s top-rated scripted drama because next year, with NCIS facing Marvel’s S.H.I.E.L.D., it’s going to get trounced in the ratings. Oh, who am I kidding? It’ll still be the top rated show on TV.
Wipeout (ABC, 8 p.m.) — Wasn’t I Just wondering last week how long it would be after Splash ends before Wipeout begins? Well, the answer is one week. The people in Idiocracy could not have invented a more appropriate show for the times.
LATE NIGHT LISTINGS: Tom Hanks is on Letterman, Martha Stewart is on Leno, Bill Simmons will take a seat on the guest’s couch on Kimmel, Ferguson has Ray Liotta, Matt Lauer will rub his ick all over Fallon’s guest chair, Nathan Lane is on Jon Stewart, and Jennifer Love Hewitt will wear something cleavage-y on Conan.
I want more like this!
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