True or False: Bill should probably hire a lawyer.
Bill admitted on TV that he ripped the governor’s head off. Pretty sure that’s illegal. Even if the governor did invent Hep-V and coordinated the plan to spread it across the vampire population. Because as far as I can tell, nobody even really knew about the camp except for the employees and the vampires that escaped. And the employees are all dead. So it’s the word of murderous vampires against no one? Except Sarah Newlin, whom Jason let run off last week, and didn’t bother showing up this week.
True or False: QUICKEST. MAYORAL. CAMPAIGN. EVER.
Two weeks ago, Sam wasn’t even allowed to stay in Bon Temps. Six months from now, he’s the mayor and he wants people to volunteer to be feeders, because this will end well. That one lady got up and ran out like, “Why, I never!” and I would have been right behind her. Unless I was assigned to Jessica or Violet.
True or False: Tara’s mom is Hepatitis-V positive.
Tara’s mom begging her to feed on her is the creepiest part of the entire season and she obviously has Hep-V. That’s the only thing that makes sense out of that, because otherwise that was way too weird. Also, what was up with the little girl sitting next to Sookie? Was that some sort of foreshadowing that she wants a kid? Would it be a wolf-fairy? Oh wait! How about Sookie gets pregnant and every episode is devoted to determining the father.
Just kidding. DO NOT do that, True Blood writers.
True or False: Jessica volunteering to protect Andy and Adderall means that they’re going to be in a lot of trouble next season.
I guess when you eat three out of four fairy babies, you should probably keep an eye on the last one. Otherwise Jessica would just be a bitch.
True or False: The vampire horde doesn’t look very pleasant.
So long, humans vs. vampires. Hello, vampires vs. vampires. Let’s hope this new war actually happens.
See y’all next season, and thanks for keeping me company.
I want more like this!
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