What’s On Tonight: Daaaaaaaang, ‘The Bridge’

The Bridge (FX, 10:00 p.m.) – Here are some things that happened last week on The Bridge: 1) A female crime boss forced a potential business partner to perform oral sex on her in the backseat of a luxury SUV while her driver silently sat three feet in front of them like it was no big deal; 2) The cops busted into a trailer and found out it was occupied by a gentleman who was high on bath salts and was wearing nothing but a tube sock over his ding dong; and 3) One of the cops got shot in the head and it blew his face clean off, leaving just a hole between his hairline and chin. The Bridge does not lack for gusto.

Only in America With Larry the Cable Guy (History, 9:00 p.m.) – Larry harvests deer urine. “Harvests.”

Broadchurch (BBC America, 10:00 p.m.) – From TV Guide: “The aftershocks of Danny’s murder ripple through the town, and the lives of friends and neighbors come under scrutiny. Meanwhile, Beth and Mark take matters into their own hands to get news of Danny’s murder into the newspapers.” Beth and Mark should start a blog. Print is dead.

Camp (NBC, 10:00 p.m.) – Every time I list this show I end up talking about some camp-related movie I saw as a kid. Remember that TV one where a rich white kid accidentally got sent to juvie and a young black criminal got sent to a rich kid camp because of a mix-up related to their similar names? I DO. It was called Summertime Switch and it starred Rider Strong and it was kinda racist in hindsight and I recorded it with my VCR in 1994. The end.

Futurama (Comedy Central, 10 p.m.) – “Bender takes part in a dangerous tap dancing competition.” Yup. In.

LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Letterman has Medal of Honor Recipient Staff Sgt. Ty Carter and Hayden Panettiere, and Leno has Matt LeBlanc and Natasha Leggero.

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