With the exception of the time that he, oh, tried to exterminate the Jews, the worst thing Eric Cartman has ever done is feed Scott Tenorman his parents in a bowl of chili while Scott’s favorite band, Radiohead, looked on and called him a baby for crying. If Twitter had been around in 2001, my response to that episode would have been “………………” over and over again, tweet after tweet, before finally adding “#southpark.” (Thank squirrel-elephant-cat-hippo that Twitter wasn’t around then.) But I was left nearly as speechless after last night’s “World War Zimmerman,” a.k.a. the Trayvon Martin/George Zimmerman episode. It involved Brad Pitt, zombies, and Les Misérables, obviously.
Unrelated to the plot at large, but Mr. Garrison’s history lessons are always the best. “Fantine. Hot?”
Cartman dreams that he’s (“f*ck you”) Brad Pitt’s character in World War Z, except instead of zombies, the world is plagued by black people who are upset over the Trayvon Martin verdict. And everyone talks like Cartman.
They riot and even scale walls in a withering mass of bodies, like in Marc Forster’s film.
Meanwhile, back in reality, Cartman is mad at Token for not forgiving him, a white person, for what happened to Martin. He shares his feelings in a poem, “I Was Not the Bullet,” before white boy rapping about what happened at a school assembly. The white kids “HEYYY,” but Token and his sister don’t “HOOO,” and Cartman begins to freak out when Token calls out the maddening hypocrisy of what’s going on.
So much so that Cartman hijacks a woman’s car, threatening her with a gun and the word “outbreak.”
Then he, dressed as Pitt, commandeers a plane, which crashes soon after.
The news picks up the story. A crudely drawn Token is considered Patient Zero.
Cartman purchases a gun from Ned and Jimbo to shoot Token before learning that your Stand Your Ground laws, where you can shoot someone in public if they threaten you, only exist in certain states, states like Florida.
The military visits George Zimmerman to ask if he’ll shoot and kill Token, a young black male. Zimmerman at first declines, but then shoots an approaching Cartman, wearing black face.
The military considers him a hero…until they realize Cartman’s not black; it’s just shoe polish.
George Zimmerman is quickly executed for killing a white kid.
Cartman doesn’t die from the gunshot wound. Once he recovers, he sees Token, and after spray painting a red circle around him on the street, he asks his friend for a “fist bump, bro.”
Cartman shoots Token in the chest. Stand Your Ground.
But Token lives and refuses to make nice, so Cartman freaks out and steals a plane again…This is the final shot.
I want more like this!
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