Never let it be said that an entire comedy premise can’t be built around a statue’s full-frontal nudity (and Mona Lisa smiling at said full-frontal nudity). Was it a good premise, though? Put it this way: I laughed as much as David’s penis is huge. So I loved it! (His penis IS huge, right? It’s not…? Uh oh.)
White Christmas is the “Macklemore of movies,” with “everything you’d expect from a black holiday movie…but with white people,” including Paul Rudd as White Madea, which, yes. I saw certain people grousing online about SNL not being in on the joke enough to earn the right to White Christmas, a criticism that makes little to no sense. Charging back into the issue of the show’s racial diversity, or lack there, is a topic that’s worth discussing, but not now, not when there’s New Kids on the Block to dance to and turtleneck and chains to stare at.
Those poor elves. They need their jolly, and as you know, skinny people can’t be jolly. Only fat people can, so when Santa comes back from his spa, looking more bronze and shirt-buttoned down than ever, carrying a Chili’s waitress who wants a different kind of tip, the elves are confused. Then sad. Then LET’S RIP HIM APART. Not a bad idea, especially because Noël Wells was born to play an elf (who sounds exactly like Zooey Deschanel.)
I have nothing to say about this, so here’s Paul Rudd dancing.
One Direction: “Story of My Life”/”Through the Dark”
Generations are divided by boy bands. There are those who grew up with New Kids on the Block (second reference!). The next age group had Backstreet Boys or (never “and”) ‘N Sync. Then came, I dunno, the Jonas Brothers, I guess, followed by One Direction. Kids today, they don’t know how lucky they have it. That’s my ashamed way of saying, as far as groups where every member is The One with the Hair go, One Direction isn’t awful.
I want more like this!
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