First of all, here’s what we do know: We were all wrong about the surprise in the finale, and about the identity of Clara Oswin. Of all the theories I developed, and of all the theories I read about before the season finale, I don’t believe I read anything even close to the actual surprise, and credit to Moffat for coming up with something even better than the theories we all tossed about. The only issue I have is that Moffat has put the lid on one can or worms, and opened up another, and less than a few hours after viewing the finale (at the time of this writing), my head is already spinning trying to figure out the cliffhanger, develop more theories, and predict what’s to come next. It’s the most excited I’ve been about Doctor Who this season, and probably since the River Song mystery.

But let’s take a step back and review what we learned from the season finale.

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“Second Sons” is an episode that works better as a part of a greater whole. I’ve long believed that the ideal way to watch Game of Thrones is in one marathon session, which takes away the fun of bitching about how BORING Theon is, but it makes everything seem more cohesive. “Second,” for instance, is yet another set piece mover, one that’s necessary for the final two episodes of the season, but for right now, feels slightly lackluster.

Outside of (you knew this was coming) watching Peter Dinklage get his Drunklage on, a scene that belongs in the Smithsonian and deserves EVERY Emmy. It’s not often that Game stays on a story for as long as it did his nuptials with Sansa, but when it does, it tends to make everything else going on around it feel less by comparison (hence the brilliance of never cutting away during the Blackwater Battle). There are check-ins on Arya and the Hound, Melisandre with Davos and Gendry, and Daenerys, but nothing can quite match up to Red Wine Wedding. Even Sam the Slayer’s origin story, which should have come weeks ago, was misplaced and as hurried as Sam running away from his cabin in the woods with Gilly and Not-Craster, leaving the Dragonglass behind.

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It took until the second season to get really invested in HBO’s Boardwalk Empire, but by the third season, it was one of those hard hooks. Like, jab that sh*t into my veins and don’t even bother with sterilizing the needle. It quietly became one of the best dramas on television, and with Michael Shannon likely to have an elevated role this season, and Jeffrey goddamn Wright as Valentin Narcisse, I could not be looking more forward to this season. It should take the shakes away after the end of Breaking Bad. Bad ass teaser embedded after the jump.

The 7 Best Musical Performances On ‘SNL’ This Season — (UPROXX)

Vigilante Theater Critic Defenestrates Rude Broad’s Cell Phone — (Film Drunk)

The Air Sex World Championships Is Making A Documentary (And I’m In It) — (With Leather)

Capcom’s New Challenger: Tobias Funke? — (Gamma Squad)

Take A Look At Kanye’s ‘Yeezus’ CD Cover — (Smoking Section)

This Week In F–k You: The Ocean — (Kissing Suzy Kolber)

The Many, Many Faces of Karl Urban — (Pajiba)

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The Billboard Music Awards were a thing of beauty this evening. We had Nicki Minaj lap dances, Prince and Miguel going absolutely ape sh*t during his performance. The “Adorn” singer came out to the stage like a ball of fire and was obviously “turnt up” as the kids say. Read the rest of this entry »

Don Draper has gone insane, the entire Sterling Cooper Draper Last Name Last Name Another Last Name staff is on butt drugs, people are f*cking in the office, grandmas are robbing small children, and Pete’s off planning his next Prickish Pete Plan — and yet all I want to think about is Little Kenny Cosgrove’s dance.

Full Mad Men recap tomorrow, assuming Cajun can stop coughing, but until then, tap dance the night away…

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Joffrey Baratheon: Terrible king, worse replacement father of the bride. And for those of us (i.e. everyone) who can’t get enough of him getting his comeuppance, Tyrion once again (in the face of all new levels of drunkenness) stole tonight’s episode of Game of Thrones with an epic rebuttal of The King’s scheming. Spoiler alert: knife threatening stare down techniques were involved.

Josh will of course be here will your full Game of Thrones recap tomorrow morning, but until then let’s re-live that satisfying moment over and over until way better GIFs are available (I’ll update, swear).

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If the first thing you thought when you spotted Vice President Selena Meyers’ ex-husband on Veep was, “Hey! That’s Adrien Brody!” you’re not alone. It’s been a common mistake through comedian David Pasquesi’s career as a bit player in movies and television shows. In fact, the third and fifth Google image search suggestion when you type in David Pasquesi is “Adrien Brody” and “Adrian Brody.” Given Brody’s career of late, he probably got more Google searches tonight than he has in years.

Per usual, we’ll bring all best lines from Veep tomorrow.

In the hype surrounding the season finales of The Office and New Girl (and every episode of Game of Thrones), there was a certain TV milestone we didn’t cover as well as we should have this week: Bob’s Burgers. What about Bob’s Burgers, specifically? Well, it just completed one of the strongest sitcom seasons in some time.

Every episode was an A- or better, not only because of the continued genius of H. Jon Benjamin and Linda’s ever-magical songs, but also because of Tina Belcher, voiced to droll perfection by Dan Mintz. (The list of reasons why Bob’s Burgers is great could go on for awhile.) In honor of the coolest 13-year-old dork with a passion for zombies only rivaled by her infatuation for butts, today’s GIFs of the Week is dedicated to “Bad Tina.”

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While most of you suffered through graduation speeches from former deans and, ugh, SENATORS, University of Virginia students were treated to remarks from none other than Stephen Colbert. For over 17 minutes, The Colbert Report host discussed UVA’s high party school ranking in Playboy (“I only read Playboy for the rankings”), the university’s ousted then rehired president (“I want to thank president Teresa Sullivan. You are way better than that last president, Teresa Sullivan, she was terrible”), and self-obsessed millennials (“Your generation needs everything to be about you…and that’s very upsetting to us baby boomers because self-absorption is kind of our thing”).

But Colbert saved his most inspiring material for the end: “I believe we have given you a gift, a particular form of independence,” he said, referring to the Steely Dan demographic, “because you do not owe the previous generation anything. Thanks to us, you owe it to the Chinese.” Haha, we’re doomed. Hear the whole thing below.

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