Earlier today, my totally righteous bro, Danger Guerrero, brought us the news that once-ousted and now un-ousted Community creator Dan Harmon was not a fan of the fourth season of the NBC sitcom. Now, it would be easy to say that Harmon didn’t like it because NBC had taken his baby away from him and he had to just sit there while it called someone else daddy.

But Harmon is a man of little restraint, and when speaking about the admittedly lacking fourth season on his podcast, Harmontown, the recently rehired showrunner understandably felt at home and let us know how he really felt.

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I’ve never heard of the Cryptic Murmurs prior to today, and I’m guessing you haven’t either, but I have to tip my cap to them for the stroke of marketing genius that inspired them to make a song about Anderson Cooper. The formula is simple: make a song about Anderson Cooper, increase your chances of getting mentioned on his show dramatically. It’s a sure fire formula for success that I’m sure dozens of aspiring rappers will soon imitate.

That said, the song they made isn’t terrible and it’s filled with some pretty fun lyrics. The moneyshot: “Stole his hair from the main of Pegasus.” That’s some inspiring sh*t right there, folks. Enjoy…

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Take Me to Your Mother (Nick Jr, 10 p.m.) — Apparently this show that I’ve never heard of but is now my new favorite program on Nick Jr. follows comic Andrea Rosen, who “just had a baby and dove head first into motherhood. Only problem? She did zero prep work to get there.” In tonight’s episode, she visits Sunny Rest Nudist Resort in Pennsylvania. Nick Jr.’s getting risque. No wonder no one wore pants on Franklin.

Stanley Cup Finals, Game 3 (NBC Sports, 8 p.m.) — Just watch this. Spare yourself from…

The Bachelorette (ABC, 8 p.m.) — Miss Utah needs to be next year’s Bachelorette. Or C*nt Punt, obviously.

Oh, Sit! (The CW, 8 p.m.) — *impatiently looks at watch* Still waiting for that apocalypse.

The Glades/Longmire (A&E, 9 p.m.) — Tonight’s Glades episode, about “Florida’s purveyors of flesh and the women who love them,” is called “Magic Longworth,” which airs right before Longmire. Somewhere out there, an A&E executive is looking for a third long, so he can say, “Three longs make a right.”

LATE-NIGHT GUESTS: Bill O’Reilly and Greta Gerwig on Letterman; Billy Crystal and Pitbull on Leno; Lil’ Wayne, Chris Messina, and Jimmy Eat World on Kimmel; Carson Kressley and Rachelle Lefevre on Ferguson; Howard Stern, Alyssa Milano, and Anamanaguchi on Fallon; and Linda Cardellini on The Daily Show.

Late last week, Matthew Weiner said that no one is going to die on this season of Mad Men. This statement (a) seemed pretty out of character for someone who is so concerned about spoilers that he refuses to send out screeners and routinely cuts the “Next week on…” segments so they’re as vague as possible; and (b) ruined everyone’s fun. It meant that most of our favorite conspiracy theories — Megan as Sharon Tate, Megan secretly dead, oranges foreshadowing a death — were a bunch of hooey, and we wouldn’t even get to find out on our own. It was the showrunner equivalent of a grumpy neighbor who doesn’t even like throwing the Frisbee deciding to keep yours just because it landed in his yard one too many times. Not cool, Weiner. But despite his best efforts, he didn’t kill all the predictions we cooked up. In fact, after last night’s episode, one actually seems more plausible.

Pete Campbell could still get attacked by a bear.

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The easiest way for a show to get out of a rut, time and time again, is to get someone intoxicated. I can’t even tell you the number of times that Parks and Recreation has gone back to that well (whether it be alcohol, food poisoning, or sickness), and it never fails to work. After a couple of mediocre episodes, Veep came back last night with maybe the best of the season, and much of that was thanks not only to Vice President Meyers’ adverse reaction to St. John’s Wart and anti-depressants, but what led to her taking both: An amazing, hilarious sequence in which she walked into a glass door.

There was some interesting plot movement, as well. Not only are both Amy AND Dan secretly eyeing a spot on Danny Chung’s when he decided to run against the POTUS, but at the episode’s end, the Vice President revealed that she would NOT be running with the President again, but would instead bide her time and make her own run for the Presidency.

But as always, the best part of Veep are the brilliant lines. Here are the 15 Meanist, Funniest, and Most Vicious of them.

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A couple weeks ago, noted mercurial comedy writer Dan Harmon said he was going make some popcorn, sit back, and watch Season 4 of Community, but that he wasn’t “going to be a jerk about it” because “there were some great writers working on that show who bled with [him] for seasons one, two and three” and “the worst thing [he] can do is fart in their direction at all.”

This week, on his Harmontown podcast, noted mercurial comedy writer Dan Harmon said this about Season 4 of Community:

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TV kind of blows right now. With the exceptions of basically Mad Men, Veep, and The Venture Bros., your mid-June options are either mindless fun (USA Network shows with quippy names), mindless boobs (True Blood), or mindless garbage (see: everything else, but don’t). As we discussed in our summer preview, though, there’s hope on the horizon: Breaking Bad comes back in August, obviously, but before then, Futurama, Under the Dome, and Wilfred will soon make not moving away from the air conditioner that much more enjoyable. (Plus, BRO.)

The last of that trio, Wilfred, premieres this Thursday, June 20th, and having seen the premiere, I can safely ay that it’s just as amusing and twisted as last season, an excellent step-up in quality from an unsure season one. To celebrate its return, FX released a series of Wilfred-themed Fourth of July cards that ought to appeal to fans of both sitcoms about mental breakdowns and dogs, in particular, fans of dogs wearing skimpy outfits. So, everyone.

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Last December, the good folks at Brewery Ommegang announced that they had partnered with HBO to create a Game of Thrones inspired series of beers “that directly tie into themes, characters and nuances…of the medieval-like fantasy realm of Westeros and surrounding kingdoms.” The first beer, a blonde ale called Iron Throne, was released in March to coincide with the Season 3 premiere, and now they’ve announced that the second beer will be released this fall, to coincide with … well, nothing, presumably because making us wait any longer than that would just be cruel.

This 2nd release for Game of Thrones beers is called Take The Black Stout–“A stout as dark as the winters that once engulfed Westeros, as robust as the men who swear their oaths at the Weirwood Tree., chocolate & caramel sweetness are balanced by hop bitterness, roasty woodsy notes and an earthy finish.” [My Beer Buzz]

Yes. Yes yes yes. YES.

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Rumors have been swirling for a while that Dave Chappelle would be soon embarking on a comedy tour. The one that he would do so with Chris Rock was especially enticing. And now it appears a tour — albeit one devoid of Chris Rock — is indeed finally going to happen. Praise Jesus.

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