If you’re a news junkie, you probably spend a lot of time during the day watching the same people prattle on about Presidential elections, Trials of the Century, economic meltdowns, the mysterious death of birds, or that diarrhea scene from Dumb and Dumber. Maybe you spend too much time, and maybe after a few too many Nitrous Monster Anti Gravity Energy Drinks, you begin think about those TV reporters in ways your Catholic grandmother would not approve. Because she watches Charlie Rose, and ew.
It happens to the best of us, and over the years (or the last 20 minutes), I’ve caught glimpses of various TV Reporters and wondered to myself if that’s what they look like while they’re giving their O-Faces. You know what I’m talking about: The face you make before climbing out the window with your jeans around your knees and a banana caught between your cheeks because her husband just came home because you’re a character in Old School. It’s kind of like a Touchdown dance, only there are fewer clothes involved and you’re less likely to get turf toe. Unless you’re into that sort of thing, you f*cking sicko.
From favorites like Anderson Cooper and Jon Stewart to the men and women we don’t even like to think about without their clothes (Fun Fact: Morley Safer goes Commando), I’ve put together of various TV Reporter’s O-Faces and suggested suitable names for each. Maybe you agree; maybe you have a better suggestion. Or maybe you’re too busy working on your own, and if so, there’s no better boner killer than the thought of Nancy Grace levitating under the power of her O-face eyelashes.
Nancy Grace: The Eye Flutter