@Reply: Hard to believe, considering your Twitter.
Character Overage: We suppose beating on somebody obviously still in high school is a little unfair, but, hey, throw them in the deep end or they’ll never learn to swim.
@Reply: And at the train station, some black guy is thinking “Dammit, where IS the bathroom?”
Character Overage: Maybe it’s unfair to assume this guy is racist. After all, he is a med student: he could just be arrogant.
@Reply: Yeah, it’s irritating that they want to use the crosswalks sometimes.
Character Overage: It seems that every month, we have one Brit in the ranks. Jimbo here is ours. Well, at least he’s not the repressed gay Thatcher worshiper we had last time.
@Reply: That’s funny, we’re personally insulted you’re sullying Twitter.
Character Overage: Apparently Shayla here specializes in “light reactive paintings.” In other words…she uses a lot of glitter. Gee, and she wonders why Twitter may be lowballing her intelligence?
@Reply: You’re a music critic. IT’S YOUR JOB TO DO THAT.
Character Overage: We’re not kidding: he’s the senior editor of a music magazine. He’s supposed to spend lots of money in record stores. Maybe he feels good about the tax deduction?
@Reply: No, but that’s not going to stop the rest of us from trying.
Character Overage: He calls himself an “Austinpreneur” in his bio. First word, in fact. “Austinpreneur?” Really? We understand Austinites have a somewhat inflated opinion of their fair city, which they seem to forget is still in Texas, but “entrepreneur” just wasn’t enough for you?
@Reply: How about questioning your own grammar?
Character Overage: We’d continue, but while researching him, we found he’d posted this:
…And are thus unable to think of any criticism. Well played, Tozier. Well played.
That’s it for this month! We’ll be back next month with even more self-importance. Until then, tweet mindfully, and think of others. Especially their boredom.