Wild Card, Kitten Mittens, Green Man, Milk Steak, And F*ck Yeah Tumblrs: An Interview With Charlie Day

FX released the filthy language video the other day about the creative stuff you guys do as far as bending the rules of profanity. Is there anything in particular, any one term or phrase you enjoy most as far as ones you guys sort of made up? Like all the different “d*ck” variations?

I understand the effectiveness of that campaign and I think it is mildly amusing, but I tell you what, I hesitate to talk about the show in that manner because we never really set out to say, “Oh, how many different ways can we refer to a penis?” or whatever. These things just sort of come up in the language of the characters and the context of what they’re getting involved in in that episode. You know, maybe people improvise variations on it but it’s never really our intention to be more filthy than any other show. I think it’s just somehow come across like that because it’s a fairly unfiltered and uncensored show, but I think unless you’re living in Pleasantville somewhere most people talk like that.

There aren’t a ton of boundaries (when it comes to profanity) you guys have to work around but you keep things different and fresh. Some of them are definitely fun and maybe people haven’t heard them before and end up repeating them.

Oh right, that’s right. We were talking about the “balls to the chin” thing. Right, every now and then there’s a few just very vague boundaries but you get more creative when you’re faced with limitations.

Do you own a cat and if you own a cat does it wear kitten mittens?

(Laughs) I do not own a cat. I have a dog. And he’s not fond of wearing anything and anytime you dress him in anything he’s sure to urinate on it at some point.

Oh my gosh. You’re a dog person. People are going to be mortified to hear that.

Well, I had a cat growing up. So I can relate to cats.

People just really like quoting the kitten mitten pitch.

Yeah, certain things. Kitten Mittens, the Day Man episode, Green Man, Wild Card. Certain things really stick with people. You never really know which it’s going to be or what it’s going to be but you’re happy that they’re entertained.

If you had to pick one to do for a year, Charlie Kelly’s diet or Charlie work?

Oh, definitely Charlie work. That man eats strange things.

Speaking of which, my friends have an ongoing debate over what milk steak actually is and what it consists of. Do you have any idea about that?

(Laughs) Milk steak is a joke. But I would assume it consists of both milk and steak. I hope someone cracks the code. Maybe they’ll invent a new recipe.

I think the “Charlie Day Recipe Book” could be pretty successful.

We’ve talked about that before. We thought that could be pretty funny.

Have you ever bashed a rat in real life?

Well, I don’t want to get into any trouble with any animal rights organizations but I did live in many a crappy apartment in New York City. Let’s just say there were rodents.

Who would win in a fight, Fat Mac or Skinny Mac?

Oh, Fat Mac. Fat Mac. He’d be so hungry he’d want to get the fight over quickly and I think he’d just snap.

If you had to choose between being a master of karate or friendship which would it be?

Definitely karate. Anyone can handle friendship.

Do you own or shower with a dick towel?

I don’t own one. I don’t know why I don’t own one. I should own one.

On a 1-10 scale, how much fun is salting the snail? Because it looks unbelievably fun.

(Laughs) Look, it’s about a 5. It’s amusing but then you have the regret of having just salted someone.

On Independence Day does everyone expect you to go America all over everyone’s asses?

It’s a given.

Do you have a favorite costume out of all the different costumes Charlie has worn over the years?

I think my favorite was designed by one of our costume designers and he did an amazing job and I always get a chuckle out of those Birds of War outfits.

Oh man. Those are tremendous.

Those are pretty good.

Charlie Day went on that evening to headline Conan’s guest list. I watched and it was enjoyable, although I could tell he was wondering what happened to all the milk steak questions.

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