That’s not an insult, Collin. That’s a request. Consider muscle building exercises.
“Dear Alanna: to be around your useless entitled ass, we have to drink heavily. We only invite you because we don’t want to make things awkward socially. So, you want to come to our parties and annoy us, you leave the crotchfruit with a sitter, like everybody else. Sincerely, the Human Race.”
Do “Maury” producers troll Facebook for guests, because if they don’t, they really do need to start. Like, pronto. Also, Li, if it’s your kid, we’re sorry. Condoms, bro.
And winner of the Most Nightmarish Thing You Can Ever Experience on Facebook Award goes to…!
Well, we’re glad you two could stay friends.
“Wait, you used your one phone call to do WHAT?!”
Yeah, we’ve got to admit that we kind of want to see that ourselves.
I want more like this!
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