Former teen heartthrob and probable crazy person Kirk Cameron's 41st birthday was on Wednesday and this photo of his attempt at the most depressing birthday party ever is making its way around the internet today. Obviously: I. Have. So. Many. Questions.
Who's gonna eat all that Subway? How many people work in the building? Do Kirk's employees have to keep a five foot radius from him? Is that lady at the door being forced to watch at gunpoint? Are those boxes full of scripts for more Christian firefighter movies? Who drank half the juice? Did they take this photo right before former co-star Leo DiCaprio strutted in? Would Boner (RIP) have ever let Mike celebrate a birthday like this?
Thankfully for me, photoshop has allowed me to sort a few things out...
Could a prison birthday party possibly look more depressing?
Nope.
Thanks to Kirk and Roboshark, Birthday Cat finally found a kindred spirit.
What if Kirk had friends? What if Kirk's friends were the cast of Friends?
Would Uncle Joey have thrown DJ a better party?
Update: Robopanda rocks your face and put together the much needed Birthday Dog shop. It really ties this whole thing together.
And finally, what I'm certain it was like in Kirk's mind...
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Maybe all his friends got raptured and he got Left Behind?
That was the joke I made on Tumblr this morning when I saw the original pic. Great minds! [cajunboy.tumblr.com]
I know someone will take this pic and add the happy puppy with the party hat on his head that looks like he’s stoned.
Birthday Dog. Shoulda been there.
Nyan Cat is a false idol! Repent, sinners!
Maske, check your email. I just sent you one with Smiley Riley the bday dog.
Ive gone from Growing Pains to Blowing Pains
Maske, you are pathetic and obviously have a life more miserable that Kirk’s apparent depressing birthday. You judge an event by a single photo when you weren’t even there and your ignorant post shows how little you know about gathering facts to spare yourself the humiliation. You noticed there were plenty of subways and didn’t realize that’s because there were a good number of people present who will eat them. Slow mind. You also obviously base happiness on numbers. To photoshop some friends also shows how you probably photoshop some fakeness in your real ife to create an impression of happiness and contentment. I feel so sorry for you and people like you. Your post shows how depressing your life is.
@Cel: I assumed Kirk just really liked Subway. And I am guilty of shopping in a Hawaiian Tropic model or two into my vacation photos.
@Robo: You rock. Added to the collection.
How is this sad, he’s happy. Would you rather have him have turned out to be another drug addicted child actor. He’s humble and seems to have a good life. His life could have went in so many different directions and your making fun of him because he choose to celebrate his birthday with a few close friends. What is the world coming to? Your the one that’s sad and pathetic. I really hope the intent of the posting of this picture was not meant to be in a mean spirited way otherwise karma definitely will pay you back.
He chose to spend his Birthday @ Living Waters Ministry in Bellflower, Calif. The ministry’s staff threw him a small party, and ordered out from Subway. It was a nice gesture from the staff at the location he was at. The person who took the picture was a staff member and from the post that I read it was not meant in a bad way. And he is a humble person unlike many other child actors of his era that have turned out bad.
This is the link for the full story:
[news.yahoo.com]
I don’t see how people can interpret this picture as sad.
I bet if they had snap a pic of him doing illegal stuff everyone else would be just fine and dandy about it. It’s sad how our society is so quick to jump at degrading someone and make outrageous assumptions by just looking at a picture. I am sure if the picture had been taken at a lavish location they would not have titled it as a sad picture!!!
Dont let this person get to you. She doesn’t get it. Much love to you. Happy birthday.
It was suppose to be a small quick party, like most office birthday parties are. If you work in an office of any type, then you know this is typical. His life is honorable, and he his blessed with close friends who care, instead of with a lot who don’t really. I think that he has a blessed and mostly joyful life. Who could ask for anything more? May God bless him and his family as they celebrate another year.
The whole internet got a giggle at this photo and somehow this post gets linked to a rapture lover’s forum.
the media can suck my dong. Kirk is having a good time and who is anyone to judge. Maybe the news outlets can fuck off like the assholes they are. Cunt jackhole pricks
kirk cameron can sit infront of a mirrior and like what he sees. there’s life peace and tranquility sit in fron of a mirrior for a while and see if tha’s what you are looking at maske. I really would like to know who realy is ” most depressing “
Nothing improves a humor website quite like people who take everything literally. That’s exactly what makes a good audience, easily-offended buzzkills who will not countenance any comedic exaggeration.
@Robo…The idiots in this thread are not regulars and are finding their way here via a Yahoo link. Unfortunately, the Yahoo traffic firehose is littered with people who, um, take everything literally and can’t interpret comedic exaggeration.
HAHAHAHA, this is hilarious
and all you hater trolls should just take a moment to laugh at the little things in life, I think the slideshow is fucking hilarious…… and maske’s questions were on point…. does this mean I think that Kirk is a real loser in real life???? no, he can do whatever the fuck he wants if it makes him happy, but the fact is that he IS a celebrity and this is what comes with it ….. people will pick fun and make jokes because we can. And what kind of a guy, especially one that has dealt with media before, would he be if he took anonymous internet comments seriously???? if he is really happy he probably doesn’t give two shits… chill you mindless politically overcorrected trolls…. chill
I love it when we “politically over corrected troll buzzkills” voice an opinion on something that we don’t like. People that make comments about OUR comments are doing the same thing that they’re accusing us of. Stop being a buzzkill about my fun at voicing my opinion.
Anyway, I too think that the life of the writer of this little article is probably more depressing than Kirk’s ever thought about being. When you come right down to true Love, the two people in the picture probably have more Love for him as a Brother in Christ than a whole room full of “friends” that probably attends a party of this author. Give me this small party of true Love and friendship any day.
Maske, I never knew about this corny website until now. And because of your ignorance I had to register to let you know how pathetic you are. Kirk Cameron is a blessed man. It’s very wrong of you to place his photo up like that and edit it making it exactly how YOUR LIFE IS. He by no means looks SAD. The people behind are being respectful as they stand there and watch him blow his candles. YOU DO NOT SEE ANY ONE THERE CRYING to assume that Kirk is either depressed or sad. You know this just shows exactly the kind of person you are and what’s inside of you. UGLY. Kirk Cameron chose a life that’s worth living. Movies that are a blessing to this generation. He is far better than you. GOD has placed him above you and that’s the reason why you took it there. Instead you just made yourself look bad. I feel sorry for you. GOD continue to bless Kirk, his ministry, and everyone in his circle.
“whole room full of “friends” that probably attends a party of this author” ….. you’re judging again.
oh you hypocritical religious nuts that keep bringing in religion and wrath into a light hearted joke, that I am guessing Kirk will never even read.
I don’t really see how religion plays into this, Katie. Just because the author referred to Kirk being a Christian and having true friends, which a lot of Christians have – as opposed to fake friends that most Hollywood stars have (and Kirk is a Hollywood star). Anyway, the point of the ridicule of this picture that many are expressing, as I see it, is not “Kirk Cameron is a Christian, leave him alone. He’s better than you.”, but rather – why make fun of someone who is at a birthday celebration being thrown in a small office? This has happened in any office I’ve worked in and what makes people like the author and others over the net want to make fun is that Cameron is a movie star. His faith should have nothing to do with it either way. Why assume someone is a “religious” nut just because they speak up for Christianity or one’s faith? Now if they go kill an abortion doctor in the name of religion – then yeah, I’d say they’re nutty. At least. But not just because someone speaks up for their faith. Freedom of speech with freedom from ridicule is dead for people of any faith. It makes you a “nut” to stick up for someone with morals, principles, beliefs, or faith.
@ Katie…..its not humour..To call someones photo of a small family/ friends gathering sad….easy to judge when the comment or a published statement wasn’t upon you..and Christianity is not a religion get your facts str8 it’s a way you live your life..by Making Christ the center..anywho on that note..It’s always easy to bash or say negative things about a person when doing good..some how there lives seems boring according to wordly facts..but to live a upright life yes we all fall sometimes not saying anyones perfect..But subjecting to God..thru ups and downs.. u are at peace and happy…Keep doing Gods work Kirk..love ur tv serious ways of the master inspires me to go out and spread the gospel…God love yah and Happy belated bday =)
By the way, with regards to the last sentence in my previous post….we (Christians) can thank the crazy religious right (think Pat Robertson, James Dobson, Glenn Beck, etc) for the general population of non-believers thinking those of us who have faith are crazy.
well Katie there is clean humor & then there is mocking a Christian actor who really isn’t in it for the fame, who is promoting pro-life. Not everything in life is one big joke! Hey you know I enjoy a good laugh too, but sorry I don’t find this one funny at all! It’s like making fun of an actor that donates all their money to finding a cure for cancer & you know they are serious about it! It’s just tasteless Kirk Cameron probably doesn’t care, but so many others are too influenced by anything! If you want comedy try Mark Lowery & Tim Hawkins they are Christian Comedians & they don’t resort to swearing & cursing & crude sexual humor..Oh & they don’t mock Christians either! They are actually funny! Sorry the world offers comedy, but it’s all trash, which is just garbage HA ha HA! lol See I can make jokes, probably just as lame but clean! lol
do you all actually think I hate him and think he is really a loser??? no, I don’t agree with it, but reading the article was slightly funny. And I guess you think I hate christians, I don’t…. all I said is people are putting religion into it where no one was bringing that into it. The article doesn’t say christians are pathetic….. My whole family is christian, I love them and go to church with them… so chill….. HE WAS A WELL KNOWN ACTOR, they make joke about actors…. ??? If you dont want to get picked on from time to time, don’t be on a television sitcom
and yes, I work at a university, I know exactly what work birthdays look like, thanks
you people are not ignorant.you are all flat out stupid do you really think it matters what hes eating for his birthday or who is there.believe me jesus sees him and loves him not like you idiots interpret love ,but with agape love ask god to forgive your sins and fill you with his holy spirit then you will understand and not feel bad for him for petty meanless things god bless you kirk may the one true god jesus christ keep you in his
love and mercy
HEY, I don’t feel bad for him. I’m sure his life is great, but I like having fun with life
…. and davuno, you are judging others …. so if you faith guides you, only god can judge us. You words are not going to convert anyone just because you made a light- hearted joke and turned it into a religious attack
What happens when your HUMBLE? Does it have to be all about glory to you a birthday.Dont get confussed out there by Greed.Who ever comment on this is a lost soul.
JOKE …. laugh a little and don’t take everything so seriously, you’ll dry up like a prude. Why are all these people making profiles just so they can tell us how we are evil???? I hope the guy is happy and I’m sure he is and doesn’t care what someone like me thinks…. good for him. That being said I like to laugh, you only live once.
@Katie…Trust me, you’re wasting your energy arguing with the trolls in this thread. They got sent here via a link from from a massive news sites and they’ll never get the joke and you’re just wasting your breath. Although I greatly appreciate your efforts to insert some sanity into their lives, the best thing to do is ignore them.
yea I know, I am used to it on the internet I suppose. I just get so tired of these type of people taking the fun out of every damn thing …. and I realllllly hate when people pull the religion card out… grr
thanks cajun
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! This is the most traffic on this site since the last Entourage post! Thanks for all the hits Kirk and Living Waters Ministry in Bellflower, Calif.!
I especially laughed at the “christianity in not a religion” post; that was HILARIOUS.
I am no punctuation guru; but apparently humorless, defensive christians REALLY suck at it.
@Katie…Ditto.
@Moose…I really wish you would have been in here Friday night and Saturday morning with the Jesus freak trolls were coming hard.
They won’t come back; having justified their self-righteousness in their heads and feeling superior. I wonder if that one subway is a meatball? If so, they scrimped on the sauce, man.
WE ARE ALL FUCKING HEATHENS!!!!! If you come to this site even once, you are satan.
This comment section is eerily similar to the Chris Brown posts, where Teem Breezy crawls out of the woodworks.
Wow, that really got out of control fast. I saw Brick kill a guy!
I’m crying from laughter right now. This thread is incredible.
Not everything in life is one big joke!
Yes, yes everything is a joke. God loves whoopee cushions.
Go ahead Kirk, just pull the trigger, you know you want too…………..
One sammich for the Son, one sammich for the Father, and one sammich for the Holy Spirit. Kirk will eat the cake.
At first, I read this post, smiled quickly (had to look up Kirk Cameron), and was about to move on…. then I saw the comments. The lulz, oh man, the lulz. Good show, uproxx.
@Moose… i was ABOUT , to make the same.point. cunt jackhole pricks.
God, I hate these fucking douchebag websites. But I love this particular article (thanks, Yahoo!) because it perfectly displays what kind of petty fucktards the people who write this shit are. Hey Maske, way to go, douche!
Having faith doesn’t make you crazy. Not having a sense of humor does.
Ironic, isn’t it? You’re adding pics to Mike Seaver’s photo to make him look cool, and now you’re deleting all the comments here that make you look like a fool! (In order to make you look cool.) Hahahaha! Hey “Bit Her Sweet”, how’s that for sense of humor, douche? Hahaha! I love these fucking dipshit websites!
I’m pretty sure there were way more comments here a few days ago. There have seriously been dozens of comments deleted on here. The Yahoo article linking this one has over 12,000 freaking comments!
Hey Kirk, show me that smile again. Don’t waste another minute on your crying…We’re nowhere near the end, the best is ready to begin! As long as we got each other, we got the world spinning right in our hands! Baby you and me, we gotta be the luckiest dreamers who never quit dreaming! As long as we keep on giving, we can take anything that comes our way. Baby rain or shine, all the time, we got each other, sharing the laughter and love…
Except for grabow…..
If you’re not a regular here, fuck off. You don’t get it.
Moose- sorry to disappoint-yet my grammar skills are very poor as I majored in Biology/Chem, while my composition skills are piss poor I will do my best to get my point across; however ignorant folks may find it.
Who’s kidding who here, first and foremost if Cameron wasn’t a “Christian” and was simply a “former teen heartthrob”/ child actor- I simply do not see this ever getting picked up by Yahoo to begin with. Katie, can’t stand it when someone “pulls the religion card”- how naive, as mentioned the “religion card” was played by the simple posting of this photo w/ the headline of “The story behind Kirk Cameron’s sad birthday photo” w/ the body of the story starting out describing how Cameron was perusing a new television career as a Christian evangelist. Most everyone is aware of Cameron’s seemingly sincere, yet lackluster performances-to put it nicely- recent acting roles in the “Left Behind” series, as well as other lead roles in other faith based movies. All this makes him an easy target, and while the pic was mildly funny at best for a b’day photo- i.e: the chick in the doorway looks like she’d rather be anywhere but there, the Subway sandwiches, along w/ the lack of other guests makes it mildly humorous, yet w/ out his bad acting of late in Christian based films, along w/ his profession of wanting to pursue a new television career as a Christian evangelist I contend that this never would have went viral & @ minimum would never have made it into a Yahoo story.
These articles are actually great and encouraging to decent people. It shows the difference between decent Americans and the rest of the Hollywood-brainwashed stuck on the internet with their porn addictions and their cyber-social-networking “friends.” I’m sure Kirk Cameron will never even hear about this, he is so far removed from this culture’s douchebaggery.
Man, I tell ya! @ Moose I never register to speak on these issues, but I was MOVED to speak my piece. It isn’t mean spirited to be concerned about wasting Subway or hoarding the juice. And as all of our Christian brothers and sisters pointed out, Hollywood stars are prone to drug addiction… perhaps he uses sandwiches now to fill the missing void from his childhood fame? No one thinks that have a problem till its too late.
@bit her sweet got it right. Life is too short. Live, Laugh and Love. and if you can’t, then just shut the f*#% up.
people its a joke for god sakes damn stop crying like a little bitch and have some fun geesh live a little
THIS blind item:
There is an area in Griffith Park where you can take the kiddies for a train ride. A certain actor used to enjoy taking men for another kind of ride in the same area. He would cruise the park, pick up a guy, and then hook up with them in his car. The really ironic thing here is that the actor is so religious that when he was a teen heartthrob (a couple of decades ago) he used to insist that any dialogue that was even the slightest bit sexual or profane be removed from his lines because they violated his sense of decency. He’s all grown up now – and still cruises for guys – but we’re sure his wife really appreciates what a moral man she married.