As we told y’all at the end of the day on Friday, UPROXX rolled out a new commenting system over the weekend, both here and across the network. Have you noticed it? The highlights of the revamped system include: a universal log-in that allows users to comment across the UPROXX network without having to re-login on each site, the ability to login via Twitter and Facebook, and the ability to create detailed profiles with avatars.
And if that weren’t enough, we have a couple of other commenting-related things in the pipeline that we think you’ll like, such as the ability to direct message other commenters (You’re welcome in advance for all the commenter hookups this will inevitably lead to), the ability to “like” and reply to comments, threaded comment replying, and the ability to earn awards and badges for excellence in commenting.
With that said, our geeky brothers-in-arms over at Gammasquad are holding a little giveaway for a random person who takes a minute of their time (Seriously, that’s roughly all it takes to register a new profile) and registers in the new system, so we decided to do something similar.
Like Gammasquad, we’re going to randomly select someone — using a random number generator — who registers a new commenting profile and posts a comment in the thread below to win a $100 Amazon.com gift card. However, if you’re willing to register a new commenting profile and comment in the thread below with a little effort, the pot is even sweeter: the person in this thread who writes what we, the UPROXX.com editorial staff, deem to be the funniest caption/comment to the picture below of Dane Cook, Jeremy Piven and Kid Rock kickin’ it together in Vegas will win a $250 Amazon.com gift card.
Here’s what you need to know…
-The contest is open to U.S. residents only.
-Be sure to register with a valid email address, as this is how we’ll contact the winners. Also, make sure not to put any other private information in any other fields outside of the email field, as those fields will display publicly.
-As I mentioned previously, we will select a winner of the $100 Amazon gift card randomly using a random number generator. The winner of the $250 Amazon card will be chosen by the UPROXX.com editorial staff.
-People who register and then turn around and post an excessive number of unfunny comments in a lame attempt to increase their chances of winning will be arbitrarily eliminated from the contest at the whim of the UPROXX.com editorial staff.
-UPROXX.com employees and contributors are prohibited from winning. (RATS, FOILED AGAIN!)
-You have until 6pm eastern on Tuesday, October 11, 2011 to claim your prize. If you’ve won, either by random selection or by the choice of the editorial staff, you’ll be notified by email on Wednesday October 12, 2011. Winners then have until 11:59pm eastern on Thursday, October 13th, 2011 to reply to the email notification. If a winner doesn’t respond by that time, another will be chosen.
Well, what are you waiting for? Good luck! Additionally, any and all feedback on the new commenting system is appreciated.
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Can’t wait for the sex video that comes out of this trip.
“I thought you guys were trying to show me how to do the “Shocker”!”
Come on meteor, we can’t do all the work…
So in a few months Cook is going to get mercury poisoning from too much sushi and start writing shitty pop country songs
At that very moment, the indestructible douche-o-meter in Vegas exploded…
Uproxx commenters did not react well to the new commenting system.
what the picture doesn’t show is the fact that they are all touching penises
Dane Cook has that “D” tatted on his manhood
Middle aged man-children have never looked more pathetic.
Pictured: The keynote speakers at this years Hepatitis convention.
Fact: Ron Swanson has more manliness on the tip of his penis than the three of them combined.
“Great, great; that’s just great guys. But Dane, could you try and give me more of a ‘mean-mug’ look…and JUST the middle finger please. Jeremy, Kid: JUST like that; you’re perfect.”
Our message to the wussies at ESPN for firing Bocephus
Entourage
WoW!…Cook,Piven,Rock what a TALENTED trio! admire them all!
Alright, fine. I stole it from “prezzlie” on the actual twitpic comments… but I can’t think of anything more hysterical (sad?) than that.
Jeremy Piven:”The Piv so swagga he ain’t even need a douche hat prove it”
Shortly after this picture was taken, the attempt at the two person Shocker sent Piven’s hair plugs rocketing out of his scalp.
“Hey, fuck you, man. You said the KKK meeting was in the second door from the back.”
Everything is better with a hat. Except this.
Dude, smell my finger!
“jeremy’s thinning hair was VERY upset he forgot about hat night yet again”
Dane Cook, still not funny.
…and yet, there are still women who are willing to have sex with these men.
Like D-bag 3 card Monty, guess which one has herpes.
Scadoosh
That is all.
somewhere right now, Brody Jenner is sad that he wasn’t “relevant” enough for douche con 11.
They must have gotten Lewis Black’s memo on how the people in Wisconsin differentiate New Year’s Eve from other nights of the year, while adding their own flair to it. TONIGHT IS THE NIGHT WE DRINK AS ASSHATS!
The person taking the picture? Your grandma.
Valtrex’s new ad campaign is surprisingly effective.
Jeremy Piven finally figures out how to look sexy by surrounding himself with ugly.
Piven has the weirdest double penis.
To the teenage girls out there: This is what date rapists looks like.
“Mind if I get a quick picture of you guys along with anything you’ve had inside Sasha Grey’s butthole?”
Douchebags, ASSEMBLE!
Pictured: Folks making us sorry for killing bin Laden.
Hey fellas! How many more years until your irrelevant?! SAY CHEESE!
They call us “The Three Douches”
GIMMEE! GIMMEE! GIMMEE!
Did anyone see the rack on that girl to the right?
The newest models for the Abercrombie & Fitch fall line up.
Five in the stink.
When Jeremy Piven is the most successful guy in the picture, given that success is defined as not having a stupid hand signal up, what does that say about American politics?
Dane Cook: let’s take a picture guys! *makes funny face* aww you didn’t tell me we were doing serious faces! when did we decide to do serious faces?! *makes funny noise* *laughs at own funny noise* don’t you hate that when…(goes off on long diatribe about something with many, many funny faces and funny noises)
Kid Rock: /shoots self
aaaaand scene.
I suppose I’ll throw my hat in the ring
It’s hard for what happened in Vegas to stay there when you walk bowlegged for a week after.
So much for the “1 fedora” rule…
Awful lot of honkies in here . . .
Silly us, that’s they’re combined IQ score!
Louie CK says actually that’s his fedora.
Ain’t Easy Being This Fucking Cool, Assholes!
Why would you hold the contest until tomorrow, Uproxx? Doesn’t that picture mean that the terrorists have already won?
Even when the people he steals from are right beside him, Dane Cook still fucks it up.
The word ‘douche’ lost a lot of it’s credibility as an insult once we realized that it means we are always knee deep in vaginas.
And then we all fell down to our knees as one and uttered nothing, not a word but our outmust graciousness, for the fine world of the future we currently reside within.
Damn it U.S residents only….
When was the only time Dane Cook knew that he was better than the people he was with?
In Vegas with Kid Rock
or
Douche Bags Assemble!
Occupy Las Vegas did more to hurt the movement’s image than any other protest to date.
You can call me Mr. Joshua
Cook, Piven, Rock, huh?
…and much like real CPR, these three are most commonly administered to those who could best be described as “unconscious victims.”
Dane! Jeremy! Kid! Quick question from Uproxx,. How many times have each of you contracted syphilis at the Playboy Mansion?
Entourage: Full Sequence
Damn keyboard, that’s supposed to be Entourage 2: Full Sequence
Hey guys! Quick, show me the fingers you stuck up each other’s asses last night!
All of those fingers smell like Lohan and regret.
This picture hangs on the wall of every Al-Quaeda recruitment facility.
Piven is thinking “Wow, I can’t believe you guys used to be more rich than me.”
Anyone else punch their computer screen when they saw that picture?
give me somethin…
the doctor said i’m the illest cause i’m suffering from realness
Alright bros, for this pic give me ‘douchetastic’. righteous. thanks.
this is exciting
I like the fact that you have to scroll through the other comments to comment.. It encourages you to stop and read a few comment rather than posting an already posted comment/question.. Easy to sign-up for as well using my fb/twitter.
Fortunately, the free clinics in Vegas are open 24/7 as well.
Bawitdaba-da-bang-a-dang-diggy-diggy-diggy-said-the-boogie-said-up-jump-the-AHFUCKTHESEGUYS.
If I was black, I would use this picture as justification for my hatred of white people.
Kid Rock is the worst thing to come out of Detroit since the AMC Pacer.
Anyone want to play Rock, Piven, Scissors?”
“I am going to go put 7 dollars worth of Hoobastank in the jukebox and then come take a picture with you bros!” – Dane Cook
This photographer is pretty talented. It’s hard to fit all those STD’s into one picture like that.
I will promise to spend the entirety of my gift card on meals on wheels or books. Ok, no promises.
It’s like the Mt Rushmore of douche.
It’s really splitting hairs, but the award for King Douche goes to Dane Cook. Nice ring jackass but you’re still from Massachusetts.
Dane Cook was going to give Kid Rock the Shocker, but then realized while he smells like a vagina he sadly was not born with one.
I like free books, and I cannot lie.
You other readers can’t deny
That when a book arrives with an itty bitty typeface
And an aesthetically-pleasing cover in your face
You get sprung, wanna throw out your NOOK
‘Cause you you’d rather your face was stuck
Deep in the book you’re reading.
Jeez, the Dixie Chicks have really let themselves go…
“I was right in the middle of a fucking reptile zoo! And somebody was giving booze to these god damn things! It wont be long now, before they tear us to shreds.”
As with everything else, Cook stole their middle finger salutes and made it EVEN LOUDER! Now that’s comedy.
I’d be more interested in knowing what that kind faced chubby boy in the kickass shirt and the awesome hair did to win that trophy. He and his parents were probably so proud, whatever it was. I can just imagine. I mean obviously, if they let him take a picture with it.
The world’s douchiest abacus only goes up to 5.
Hey Piven, where’s your Fedora? OK, I guess your douchey face makes up for your lack of killa schwag.
Holy shit, is this the first multi person picture where Kid Rock isn’t the biggest douche?
Are we supposed to comment on the guys flashing their IQs?
Looks like GSK got a group discount on actors for their next Valtrex commercial.
Westside!
Apparently Chris Rock was lying this whole time. There IS sex in the champagne room…just not what you were hoping for.
Dane Cook: “Two fingers is funny right? Louis C.K said it WAS FUNNY!!!”
“how many brain cells do you have?”
Douchebags around the world are shaking their heads in disgust.
“Caption not available.”
“Celebrities” Fail to Count to Three
Okay guys, the contest is now closed. Winners will be announced tomorrow!
This is one of those rare moments when I wish that the terrorists HAD won.
“Fuckin’ look at this photograph!” – Wait, that’s not the right reference? Than what assholes are in Nickleback?
Okay guys, on the count of three, show me how many times Pam Anderson made you fuck her with the David Hasselhoff mask on… One… Two… Three!!! — Dane, two and a half?
They’re filming a scene for the Entourage/Adjustment Bureau Crossover (because of the fedoras you see).
“Sorry, My two fingers are glued together by whale semen that I collected when trying to invigorate my drooping skin back to 2003 shape. No flashing the bird for me guys.”
Shown: 3 celebrities holding up as many fingers as years left of fame.
Glad to have a universal login. Keep up the good work.
Meet the cast of Hangover 3: The Vegas Free Clinic.
Kill, Fuck, Marry: Kill Piven, Kill Cook, Kill Rock