Hey everyone, as part of Workaholics Week we’d like to give you guys free Workaholics swag for being the cleverest of our audience of super clever people. We’ve got a special preview clip for tomorrow night’s episode, “No One Listens to Jillian,” (Spoiler Alert: Pajamas to work and Waymond middle fingers!) as well as the above highly captionable preview photo (Yes, the hat reads “Top Gun”) that we’d like for you to caption in the comments. Top 5 photo captions in the comments win Workaholics Season One DVDs and one of the three t-shirts after the jump.
So get your torque on, get to captioning, and win some t-shirts and DVDs, which we assume are your favorite things to win since they’re our favorite to win. Top 5 will be announced on Friday. The b*tch will totally have your honey.
| Workaholics | Tuesdays at 10:30/9:30c | |||
| Preview – No One Listens to Jillian | ||||
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The Winnable Stuff, click to enlarge.
“Fully Torqued” can be worn accurately or ironically.
UPDATE: We have our winners.
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That’s right! Blake… man. I am dangerous
Blake.. i can… and will shove this delicious dog up your butt! Don’t make me rage!
And you know I wanted the Jammie-Jams with the button-up crap flap! I was gonna open that bitch up and rock my glutes around the office!
BLAKE, IF YOU EVER SPEAK ILL OF TOP GUN OR THE LEGEND THAT IS TOM CRUISE EVER AGAIN, I WILL LODGE THIS HOT DOG DOWN YOUR THROAT AND CALL UP OSCAR MAYER TO SHOVE A WIENER UP YOUR ASS
Blake you think I am being loose butt holed?! My butt hole is so tight it looks like the end of this hot dog!!! While yours is so loose it would be mistaken for Jillian’s!
“That’s right! ICE…man. I am dangerous…take it sleezy”
blake! Your mouth is eating hot dogs your ass can’t crap!
“Look at me! I’m Kobayashi…..I can eat weiners fast!”
YOU TWO snot-nose jockeys put a hot dog on my George Forman over 400 DEGREES! I want somebody’s butt, I want it now, and I’VE HAD IT!
YOU DON’T HAVE TO THINK WHEN YOU’RE GRILLING!…. When you think.. you’re dead.
get your George Forman away from my nuts!
Your George Foreman versus my Dutch Oven. Right here, right now!
Com’on Adam I’m to stoned to wait for you Gorge forman grill to cook my Oscar I want it now!!! BLAKE!!!! You will wait for me to cook this weiner and you will be patient or I will knock you out! Everybody knows when you use a George Format grill you can fight like him to!!!!
“That’s rookie move Blake, pfffffffffff!!!!! like a chump. DO YOU REALLY THINK FIVE TIME WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD EVANDER HOLYFIELD WOULD BE CAUGHT DEAD SHOVING HIS WIENER IN GORGE FOREMAN?”.
YOU KNOW I DON’T EAT BUNS! CARBS DO DAMAGE TO MY LATS SON!
You don’t know my powers, Blake. This weiner is just the tip of my awesome train of pain.
Blake (smiling and cheerful) “Umm, hey, hello sir, yes i’ll take one Foreman hotdog please”
Adam “#1 (holding up dog), who do you think you are trying to enjoy champion cooked meat when you won’t even dress in our super awesome attire?…RUUUDDEEE.”
Blake “Whats #2?”
Adam “I dunno man, DO I NEED ANOTH– I only have this one hot dog, don’t don’t sweat it they aren’t even good. This really isn’t the quality you see in the infomercials.”
Do you know what these things are made of, well do you? They’re made of cute little bunny tails, raccon masks, and skunk stripes!
Adam: Blake, hot dogs are the most tight butthole thing of all. They’re delicious, they’re American and they’re actually made of buttholes.
Blake don’t you ever question the swag of this Foreman, they make these hot dogs so tight butthole it makes Katherine Zatta Jones look like Barbarah Walters, you will never understand the power of the Foreman.
Catherine Zeta Jones**
my wiener… IS AN AWESOME WIENER
“I feel the need—the need for sleaze!”
Jillian: Idk about you guys, but I’m getting fully torque’d.
You are going to ruin this very tight butthole of a impromptu BBQ, that is so un-goose of you.
You are going to ruin this very tight butthole of an* impromptu BBQ, that is so un-goose of you
.
damn typo
I’ve been steaming this hot dog in my onesie since we clocked in.
Blake these better be organic!
THIS ONESIE IS CHAFING MY NIPPLES AND I HAVE NO BANDAIDS. Plus, you may or may not be able to see the outline of my dick right now, BUT IT IS BIGGER THAN THIS DELICIOUS WIENER FORSURE.
I HAVE A HOTDOG IN MY HAND AND WE’RE ALL WEARING GROWN UP PAJAMAS! If Pee Wee Herman were here he would be FULLY torqued!
“Yeah Blake, its more lethal than pizza shrapnel!”
“Top Gun is the ONLY Tom Cruise movie you need to see! Don’t make me swing on you, bro!”
“You firing me? I’m gonna shove this so far up Sigourney Beaver, unobtanium will come out of her tight butthole!”
“It plumps when I cook it in your butthole, Goose.”
“Jesus Christ, and you think I’m reckless? When I fly, I’ll have you know that my weiner and my onesie come first.”
“Two of your snot-nose jockeys did a fly-by on my tower at over 400 KNOTS! I want somebody’s butt, I want it now, I’ve HAD IT! “
“I’m gunning to blow off the top of your grill”
I’M GOING TO RAPE YOU WITH THIS SO HARD IN THE ASS THAT YOU’RE GOING TO BEG ME TO MOVE ONTO YOUR EYE SOCKETS.
I’m about to get weird with this hot dog bro! Loose butthole style.
“Dont youu ever, EVER TALK ABOUT THE TOP GUN HAT, ITS A GOOD HAT DAMNIT!!! YOU SAID…..YOU SAID YOU LIKED IT…..YOU LIAR!!!!”
“So what if I had this wiener in my pajama onesie all day!!! It’s mine Blake! and if I want to eat it for lunch I will!!! NOW GRILL MY WIENER!!!
“Ohh and F-Why Blake, hot dogs are the best morning snack at the office. Look at Jillian – she has had about 13 dogs today. Super tight-butthole, made of loose pig butt-holes. Grill it!”
“hey guys, do you mind getting back do your desks, and making it a succesfull workday.. okay maybe one more toss..”
Blake: “Adam be careful with that thing, it just came out of the george forman. It’s hot and dangerous”
Adam” “That’s right! Ice… man. I am dang…. OW!! F&*K! SH*T! That hurts.”
What color is your onesie now? Blue? You know what color it’s about to be? DOODOO BROWN. YOU’RE ABOUT TO GET DOODOO’D ON AFTER TALKIN’ SMACK BOUT MY WIENER GRILLIN’ SKILLS BRO! ESPECIALLY WHEN I’M WEARING MY TOP GUN HAT, ADDS TO THE FLAVOR OF THE WIENER.
OH YEEEAAAAHHHH Brother this weiner is going right in that loose butthole.- spoken in Randy Savage’s voice
DAMN! That’s TWICE! I WANT SOME BUTTHOLES!
Damn it Blake! How much more hipster can I be?
Oh hell-to-the-yes I CAN approach the bench in GHETTO COURT! Because my client is Not Guilty of impersonatin Ralphie from The Christmas Story or whateva. You see this? Does my client have a weiner? NO! If she has tits, you must acquit!
If you say “Christ, what an asshole” one more time, I will stick your hand in this George Foreman Grill and press down.
To all my little Hulkamaniacs… remember to say your prayers and eat your hot dogs!
goddammit blake, i told you to get muthaflippin corn dogs!
Give me back my buns and I’ll give you back Barney’s head!
DARIUS RUCKER SAID IT SO IT MUST BE TRUE.
you can get that hat.
[www.ebay.com]