The Movie Dad Hall of Shame

A cat has gotta make some scratch, you know? Comedy grows stale, audiences move on, and if a funny man doesn't play his cards right, all he'll be left with at the end of his career is his reputation and dignity. At a certain point, box-office success and massive wealth are far more important. Dignity never bought an $8 million mansion, you know?

And that's why the best thing a comedian can do for his career is stop trying to please adults and go to work on their kids. Their comedy threshold is much lower, their tickets are worth twice as much (because they bring along their parents), and it takes a lot less effort. Win, win, win. All you need is a high concept, a hack director-for-hire, and the ability to feel no shame. Beyond a certain point, that's the key to career longevity: Stop caring, stop trying, and just cash the damn checks.

It works, too. One may presume that formerly respected funny men take family films as a last resort. Not true! These lame, high-concept family films actually attract a lot of talent, and competition for the scripts -- usually among the same five or six men -- is fierce. They want to sell out! A $100 million movie is far more important than the respect of others! And once they get a taste of success with no effort, they want to return again and again. Can you blame them? Dignity is so overrated.

With all of that said, we here at UPROXX feel that we should commemorate their success, but we can't give them $20 million checks, $1 million trailers, or hookers that can fry an egg on their ass. However, we can give them the next best thing: we can enter them into The Movie Dad Hall of Shame.

Congratulations, men -- you get paid for sucking. HARD.