Apparently there's some sort of pull-back-the-curtain movement going on and it's looking to lay waste to how celebrities are portrayed in our culture. If there was a internet chapter meeting I didn't get an invite (which makes sense, as my natural good looks tend to undermine such causes). But now that I've caught up on the 1-5 retouching scale initiative, where science is going to save the children from photoshop, it's time to move on to a new single serving site dedicated to reminding us that these celebrities we hold in such high esteem really aren't all that attractive if you get really, really, REALLY close-up. This also happens to be the case when you zoom in close enough to see anyone's pores, but these people are rich and famous so screw 'em!
At first I was just going to showcase the celebs who I think are sucky no-talents, but that seemed a little biased, so instead I decided to sit here in quasi-anonymity and hand pick the twenty attractive people who happen to look the most particularly unattractive in the Celebrity Close-Up photos. Totally fair, right?
Be warned: There are photos of several nice ladies who you may be planning to introduce to your friend Mr. Chloroform Rag in the near future but will never look at the same again after you realize they participated in Movember. That's why I led with Cameron Diaz. No surprises there.
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I’ll never un-see Zooey’s mustache…
Good lord, it’s like looking at wet oranges.
Too much light.
Actually, Nikki Minaj and Jessica Alba still looked pretty awesome. And Lisa Rina is a beast even from 30 feet away viewed through a cheese cloth.
Zooey is freakin catfish!!
OH MY GOD!! PORES!!! THE HORROR!!
I think a few of these images got mixed up with those from JPL’s site, the moon section, so you shouldn’t be alarmed.
P.S. Thank you for not including Sarah Jessica Parker, thank you so much.
And I would still let Mila Kunis hammer a rail spike through my chest, even if she looked like Edward James Olmos.
Is it just me, or is Fergie looking more and more like Martha Stewart?
Angelina needs to get her nose hairs out
@Burnsy: So you’d essentially let Edward James Olmos hammer a rail spike through your chest?
Geez, you mean to tell me carefully made up women in their forties don’t look attractive with a lens rammed right in their face in unflattering lighting? YOU DON’T SAY.
I like how it’s the celebrities’ fault. Uh, no, it’s ours, people.
And Katy Perry is a spokesperson for Proactiv – GTFOH !
Lol, some of these pics make me think of that time when I was 16 and I saw this one black chin hair on this girl that I thought was really pretty. I can still remember it in all it’s detail.
Natalie just looks like she has a post-coital glow. Guys, you would lick that sweat off her and praise god.
I didn’t need an extreme close up to tell me that Katy Perry’s face is broken.
The Natalie Portman pic is the most alarming for me. On the other end of the spectrum, Mila Kunis still looks great even with an extreme close up.
I wish these pictures had captions of who they were… I only recognized maybe 50% of them…
Who let the AOL user in here?
Whole lotta makeup going on
Do we start calling Zooey Chewbacca now?
/ Has tons of back and ass hair
Photoshop out their eyebrows to complete the horror. Ai Ai Cthulhu F’tagn
@Dan – the whole point was people don’t get to see details that show you celebrities look like normal people.
oh mah gawd, scarlett johansson’s teeth.
Mila Kunis is growing hair on her forehead.
well, see you in 10 years, erections.
1 Cameron Diaz usually doesn’t look great from 10 feet away hasn’t aged well i’ll give you that
2 Jenifer Aniston making an odd face is stunning for her age
3 Katy Perry has a zit and is 22?
4 Katie Holmes has a few bumps on her forehead oh noes, great eyes, still cute
5 Elizabeth Berkley hot as hell still great eyes
6 Heather Graham great skin
7 P- Diddy why is this here?
8 Adriana Lima hot as hell, looks DTF
9 Christina Aguilerra ya last couple years have not been kind too much make up
10 Jada Smith gorgeous, perfect skin
11 Jerry Seinfield making a funny face nearing 60 looks fine
12 Nicki Manaj great skin
13 natalie Portman nice skin still cute
14 Pam Anderson aged about as ungracefully as possible
15 Angelina Jolie looks great always has had odd features that come together well
16 No idea who that is, too much whitening good skin
17 Scarlett Johanson nice skin needs some of the last girls whitening
18 Mila Kunis cutie pie has a couple pock marks plays video games
19 Fergie one of the better photos I have seen of her
20 Zoey Deschanel someone better break it gently to the hipsters that their goddess has a stache, made me think of this though
[www.youtube.com]
Thanks for the memories Zoey Stache!
The worst thing that can be said for the VAST majority of these pictures is that they have pores. I feel like this is on par with those awful magazine articles showing how “celebrities are just like us!” Not unusual, not exciting, move on.
Dennis Rodman?
that one of Joy Behar looks like Jerry Seinfeld
More Amazing Celebrity Close Ups can be found here:
celebritycloseup.tumblr.com
Did anyone else feel strangely uncomfortable with that degree of simulated closeness? It felt invasive.