Imagine if internet cockroach Perez Hilton was around during the Colonial era. That’s the essential premise of PerezHamilton.com, and it’s pretty genius.
Take, for example, the most recent post as of this writing on Anne Hutchinson, the text of which reads:
Uh oh, someone’s been a bad girl!
A super preggers Anne Hutchinson has been put on trial for the charge of “traducing [speaking badly of] the ministers”. She’s been the talk of the town since she left her place in the kitchen to oppose strict religious orthodoxy in Massachusetts and the subordination of fellow women.
She stated during the trial:
“I feare none but the great Jehovah, and I doe verily beleeve that he will deliver me out of our hands, therefore take heed how you proceed against me; for I know that for this you goe about to doe to me, God will ruine you and your posterity, and this whole state.”
Wow, those are some BIG words for such a small woman!
What do U think about Anne Hutchinson’s beliefs???
The post is accompanied by this photo, which includes one of Perez Hilton’s trademark semen doodles in MS Paint…
Whoever’s running this site is also paying close attention to the little things: the links included in the body of text all link back to PerezHamilton.com tags, something Perez Hilton does that has long infuriated many. In short, the whole thing is just perfect — the lingo, the voice…even the shade of Pepto pink used for the background.
Yes, I have a massive crush on the mastermind behind Perez Hamilton. Meal Deal with it.
UPDATE: Reader Lara emailed to inform me that the person behind this is “a hot girl who works at Disney.” Well okay then! My crush is growing by the second on this lovely, witty lady — who goes by the name of Kristen McClurken.