I expected last week’s inaugural Archer live blog to go well. I went in prepared to have thirty conversations with myself if need be though. But man, things even exceeded my expectations thanks to you guys turning the comments section into a virtual Fort Kickass. Let’s run it back tonight, shall we?
The winner for best comment and overall fine contribution goes to The Evil Twin, who closed with this gem:
“I want to take Amber Nash out for a nice steak dinner and then introduce her my parents. Then I want to very discreetly fatten her up over the next few months, convince her to dye her hair blond, and finally get matching Lord Byron tattoos on our backs.”
We’ve got the same giveaway going for this week’s live blog. Best comment/commenter wins Archer Seasons 1 & 2 on DVD + a copy of “How to Archer: The Ultimate Guide to Espionage and Style and Women and Also Cocktails Ever Written.” Bring your clever.
Starting next week we’ll be trading giveaway swag for special guests, where we’ll be providing some unprecedented insight into the show via those who know it best. In real time. Get excited.
Pre-show talking points…
- “El Contador” translates to “The Accountant,” which is certainly reference to Cyril being promoted to field agent for a South American operation.
- Based on the preview clip below anticipate jokes on Cyril’s outfit to be a running gag. I see no way Steve Irwin doesn’t get a mention.
- Burt Reynolds looks like a one-off guest appearance. We’ll always have tickle GIFs.
- “Malory institutes a strict drug-testing policy” this episode.” Pam scoring clean urine or GTFO.
- FX just released “Paralyzed,” a Ray Gillette-centric vintage opening sequence. So, um, yeah, think it’s safe to assume the wheelchair is a keeper.
- There’s still some confusion on what exactly constitutes “the most dangerous game”…
Predictions? Cyril burn suggestions? Drug reference wishes? Media you’d like to see added? Please let us know and we’ll discuss/debate pre-show.
Full-on live blogging begins at 10PM EST (still sucks to be you, West Coast). Anticipate various UPROXX personality chime-ins. Please join in on the good times. Follow us @KDMaske, @TheCajunBoy, and @UPROXX for reminders. Special guests next week!
UPDATE: Tonight we’ll be launching a “Sploosh!” badge to award our best and most active commenters. Bring your A game. You’ll know when you’ve unlocked it.
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A benchmark has been set for every other comedy show I’ll watch from now on; that was literally the best 20 minutes of comedy I’ve seen this year.
Does anyone else feel like hallucinating would be the best case scenario after taking ANYTHING from Krieger? I don’t know, I just feel like it could’ve been alot worse…
Is anyone re-run blogging?
I know the live blog part of tonight is over, but I just gotta say this: Today was quite honestly, no exaggeration, one of the worst days in my professional life. I’m literally at the point where I may, at just about 29 years old, go back to school just to switch careers because what I’m doing now has gone from quasi-dream job to absolute hell. It’s made me physically ill for a couple of weeks now, that’s how bad things have gotten.
But this last hour or so has been the absolute highlight of my day. I was looking forward to it all day. You guys bring the funny, I have a blast, the show is awesome as per usual, and I can forget about all of that torment for a little while. So thanks, fellas, you guys rock. See you next week.
Sorry to hear it, man. Keep your chin up. We’ll be here.
Oh man… that makes staying in on a Thursday night to play on the internet worth it. Hopefully your professional life takes a turn for the better, and soon.
One final thought from me: that episode was good, but it could have used some Burt Reynolds.
Isn’t that true for most things?
“This pasta fagioli was good, but it could have used some Burt Reynolds.” See?
Well, I was bout to make some gifs by request till Colbert finished, but if this is over…
Holy sh*t, make some GIFs. I can always rearrange.
Pam + tranqs. Easy.
Clearly, Pam ripping the toilet out of the wall.
Did someone say “make some GIFs?”
Cheryl/Carol, floor is lava? Anyone?
Chet Manley looking to make payroll.
Pam tranqs
[i41.tinypic.com]
Ray getting his Wheel-E on.
You. Are. A. God.
lava floor
[i39.tinypic.com]
I love the Pam tranq gif, but could we slow it down a bit?
A. MAWZ. ING.
Think we may have a giveaway winner.
wheels
[i41.tinypic.com]
Not to beg, but how about the rave?
I feel like we have access to a sorcerer.
rave
[i42.tinypic.com]
the toilet rip cuts off too early
[i40.tinypic.com]
Chet, seriously, I feel completely inadequate at this point. Wow.
You da man(ley), Chet…
My day made with a single GIF.
HOLY SHIT CHET MANLEY!
OK, Sh*tsnacks. Tonight has been fun. As CB put it, 30 minutes goes by way too quickly. Starting next week we’ll have some pre-episode festivities to spice things up a bit so tune in. Should make for serious good times. Many thanks for the participation.
So. Much. Ocelot. Next Week. Vurrry Excited.
ARGH, the wife made me switch the channel at the end of the episode because Unsupervised is quite possibly the worst thing ever. And I obliged, because I enjoy sex. BUT I FORGOT TO WAIT FOR THE SCENES FROM NEXT WEEK AND MISSED THE OCELOT!
I guess I should count my blessings that I’m married to a chick that not only tolerates, but enjoys Archer.
Night vision goggles, fighting on a train, mounties… yeah, that looks to be awesome.
I haven’t watched Parks and Rec yet, but I just saw this GIF and got excited that it’s on my DVR.
Archer + Parks and Rec = Awesome Thursday nights.
Spoiler alert. The bowling scenes are pretty magical. Ron entering names was easily my favorite part of the episode.
Ron Swanson wrestling with arcane technology? I just got even more excited!
Better bowler – Ron “All the Bacon and Eggs” Swanson or Al “STEEEEEEEEEEE-RIKE” Bundy?
Am I the only who remembers what a money bowler Balki was?
The visual of Pam running away with tranqs serving as the punctuation in a Lord Byron poem is wreaking havoc on my brain. I mean, obviously Lana’s the hot one, but there’s something about shooting a load of anything on Pam’s back that makes me feel a little tingly in my pants.
BABOU IS IN THE NEXT EPISODE?!?!
Pretty sure I see a Predator on the street corner by my apartment.
Oh wait, nope, just a homeless guy…urinating on the yield sign.
Pretty sure you’re Danny Glover.
Three tranq darts in Pam is kinky. Anyone else turned on?
I still want to choke/gob in they eye Cheryl/Carrol
That half hour goes by way too fast.
Pretty much demands a rewatch. Our boys at SADP are at it early.
I’m here for the gangbang
Every time I see those Dicky and Seamus tattoos I think about how he’s got their backs, and i spit out warm whiskey
That is some solid consistency, isn’t it?
But he got murdered…
Crocodiles on three wheelers are my new nightmare.
Where’s Burnsy? We need a photoshop.
I’m telling every setting I’m in that sucks going forward to eat a dick. No exceptions.
And for people it’ll be “What the hell, damn guy?”.
Ah, I’ve been telling people to eat a whole bag of dicks for a while. Never the jungle, though.
[burp] bring it
Yeti hands, huzzah
“I thought those were yeti hands.”
Thank god, I thought those were Yeti hands.
I can say with confidence no poor killings of innocent animals could take me out of a Lana-banging mood. I’d tap that on my grammy’s corpse.
Wow and wow.
+1
WHO SAID THAT TIGER WAS INNOCENT?!?! HE WAS LOCKED IN A CAGE, DAMMIT!
Archer is always so helpful when it’s not needed, the holes in his knowledge are mesmerizing
Cage scene just rivaled Burt Reynolds elevator scene. GD brilliant.
Sloth hunting, the prey of preys
Knowing the difference between figuratively and literally is what makes archer the best
Sad Caged Panda! No!
Everytime I see a Panda, I now think of these commercials.
[www.youtube.com]
“…this giant negress and her sissy sidekick.”
OH MY.
Bringing back the Negress. I like it.
Never forget.
What would Lana do?
Not Archer?
/Brilliant.
Did you ever play “The Floor is Lava” growing up? Maybe you called it something else, but it was the same thing – it meant you were poor.
CLASSIC poor folk game.
Growing up? I’m playing it right now.
NEED Pam ripping toilet GIF asap.
YES. WANT.
“You’re not my friend, you’re a Decepticon!”
Does that included rape-related injury?
Archer’s situational awareness is honed by picking up call girls and disposing of hookers
“How about you ironsides…you rollin’ dirty?”
Why hell would they ever think that people who enjoy Archer would enjoy a Glee commercial?
I think it’s for the Two & a Half Men crowd that forgets to change the channel.
Who has less time to bleed – Lana, Archer, or Cyril?
I’m with Archer… I ALWAYS look for Predator. He could be anywhere.
Yup.
Dammit, now I’M looking for Predator.
“Not totally, he has a tell tale shimmer.” – Please keep in mind when looking for Predator going forward.
“He has a tell-tale shimmer.”
Tactical tank tops?
Tanktical tops (TM)
Wait, was that a rat stuffed in a lab coat?
Good to see that Ray still gets his E on.
“How about you ironsides…you rollin’ dirty?”
Break Room conversation, start chugging!
Holy shit, the quadroon referenced the racist crows from Dumbo! GO LANA!
Wow. Hella pick up.
I’m pretty sure you grow pubes after watching The Grey.
Is Unsupervised Archer’s Whitney? Kinda feels that way.
Freestyling, more like Freebasing by the end of this episode, am I right?
I see what you did there.
Is this two weeks in a row where Pam’s box was beaten?
No, that preview scene from last week was a week early. I was unaware!
Ah, that was just a poorly-worded stretch of a masturbation joke. By the way, anyone watch Hooper last week?