As you may have already noticed, 2012 is going to be a more conversational year here at UPROXX. Discussions, live blogs, cougar chats, etc. — we just want to get to conversing a little more with you guys. We especially want to turn our focus to live events, because tooling on things as they happen is much more fun when it’s done between like-minded individuals with a penchant for dickish sarcasm.
And what better way to kick things off than with the Golden Globes? Borrowing from Stefon: THIS. AWARDS. SHOW. HAS. EVERYTHING. Movies + Television, drunk celebrities, categories people care about, bad teleprompter jokes, a sham premise, a host looking to go further below the belt than he did the previous year (even if those jokes were more obvious and mean than they were funny).
So we encourage you to join the UPROXX family this Sunday evening at roughly 8PM EST as we live blog the ever living sh*t out of this thing. Right here. In this post. Via the comments. Film nominees here. Television nominees here. Beef up and chime in, please.
I think it’s best if we all get our Ron Swanson/Nick Offerman robbery sentiment out early…
UPDATE: You’ll notice several new upgrades to our commenting system. They’re all designed to enhance the conversation. UPROXX staff now has the ability to embed images and videos. We’ll be rewarding top commenters with these capabilities shortly. With great power comes great responsibility.
We’ve also enabled real-time comment updates to indicate when you should refresh and we’ve reversed the comment order. Comments now flow newest to oldest. This is a major change but it’s necessary to keep threads manageable. It’s an acquired taste — like Korean food or the pleasure of my company — so give it a chance!
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/gammasquadeuropareport-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/gammasquadlegobatmanmovie-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/star_trek_into_darkness-150x150.png)
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/gammasquadrobocopstatue1-150x150.jpg)
Thanks guys. This was awesome. One final note on the TV comedy nominees (all categories).
BED TIME TO SLEEP OFF THIS ANGER. LOVE YOU ALL. <3
Aright, what’d I miss!?!
Wow that 3 hours actually flew by. What is it they say about time flying and having fun? Thanks for playing along, guys!
WHERE’S DEAN PELTON?
Raise your hand if in 1995 you thought Harrison Ford’s earring was just a midlife crisis phase.
They brought out Harrison Ford without telling us! THOSE BASTARDS.
Moneyball is this year’s Blind Side. meaning WON’T WIN SHIT
Fassbender’s going to spend the rest of his life listening to jokes about how huge his dong is. Poor bastard.
Seriously, sucks to be this guy.
there should be an episode of The League about Clooney’s penis called “The Cloonberg”
FASSBENDER PENIS JOKE! God I love Clooney.
Gosling is busy helping homeless men and rescuing puppies. HE DOES NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS SHIT
Where’s Baby Goose?!
No love for Fassbender?
Clooney complimented him on his giant dong. That’s plenty of love.
It looks like Natalie literally has a stick in her ass.
Dog appearance! Yes! Totally worth it!
NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR STORY, THERE IS A CUTE DOG ON THE STAGE SO SHUT THE FUCK UP
PUPPY THINKS HE’S HUMAN.
DOG.
if The Artist doesn’t make me jizz when I watch it I will be so pissed
THE MUSIC MEANS GET THE FUCK OFF THE STAGE SO MOVE YOUR ASS BITCH
Fincher was all like, that b*tch can fend for herself.
Did she just call a British politician’s biopic strange and exotic?
What is going on here?
i love the fake shock omg fall out of my chair then 2 seconds later she’s basically running up the stairs saying FUCK YOU VIOLA DAVIS
tilda swinton looks like david bowie
It’s about time Meryl Streep wins something!
FUCK YOU MERYL STREEP YOU’RE NOT SURPRISED AT ALL ASSHOLE
Meryl Streep is such a great actress that she can appear genuinely thrilled to win a Golden Globe.
Gervais tonight > 2011. By 100x.
Seconded.
WHAT THE FUCK IS ALBERT KNOBBS
This also needs to be here.
2 penis jokes killed while 3456 poop jokes fell flat. only… at the golden globes!
NAILED IT.
I can’t wait til after the Oscars so I never have to see anyone from “The Artist” ever again (besides John Goodman on COMMUNITY, BRING IT BACK ASSHOLES)
BUT HE DOESN’T HAVE ANY DIALOGUE THERE SHOULD BE A HANDICAP, THIS IS MENTALLY CHALLENGED
Meanwhile, at an Applebee’s somewhere in Detroit, Mekhi sees his mother Michelle on TV and beams with pride.
See what you did there and approve.
LOL. Just LOL.
Sexy Miss Havisham, ladies and gentlemen.
HORSE WAR.
ADD MICHELLE PFIEFFER TO THAT CALORIE EATING DEATHMATCH BETWEEN MADONNA, JOLIE, AND DANES
lets nominate shitty shows so we can give Modern Family more trophies! yay!!
At least the best show to actually get nominated won?
Also, aaaaaw, Luke in his little bowtie!!!!
Since it’s a commercial, let’s have a moment of silence for Jon Huntsman’s presidential candidacy: [www.politico.com]
Can we content his daughters?
Sofia and Salma on the same stage. That may be my dream threesome. (Yes, I have a thing for Latin women)
Did I forget to press 1 for English?
Ugh. FUCKING UGH. Well deserved, Modern Family. IN 2009.
That list of nominees was a GD f’n tragedy.
modern family should have won if the other nominees were rob, whitney, man up & work it
Alex from “Modern Family” is trolling. I’m convinced.
Sofia vs. Salma: who you got?
Salma, always. On that note, brb, gotta go grab some Pepsi.
always sunny, community, parks and rec, modern family, big bang theory
THERE’S YOUR NOMINEES ASSHOLES
Banderas just said sphincter like 7 times
Woah, did they just cut Gervais?!
An Ari Emanuel mention! Drink, everyone!
madonna vs jolie vs danes…. FIRST ONE TO EAT A CALORIE WINS…… GO!!
Ah, I see Angelina’s sense of what it means to appear womanly is being strongly influenced by the countries from which she plucks her children.
Somebody at UpRoxx please post a pic of Angelina sans eyebrows ASAP
You’re welcome.
Your wish…
Double nightmare anybody?
Well, you kind of asked for it.