Let me start this off with an admission: I was kinda drunk when I came home last night and watched Mad Men. It was also kind of late. So I should probably go back and watch it a second time. I worry that my feelings about this episode — my hatred for which we’ll get to in a second — may be a little tainted due to drunken rage and sleepiness, especially considering that I loved last week’s episode.
Whatever, I hate Betty Draper Francis. There, I said it. And the only person I hate more than Betty Draper Francis is fat Betty Draper Francis.
- So yeah, last week everyone wondered, “Where’s Betty Draper?” Well now we know. She was eating the mid 1960s. Betty Draper is fat. FAT. And whiny and miserable as ever. We know this with the first couple of minutes of last night’s show. God help us all.
And naturally, there’s a Fat Betty Draper Twitter feed in existence. Tagline: “If there’s 3 things I love it’s Bugles, ice cream sundaes, and ATTENTION!”
- The Rolling Stones! Thanks for reminding us that they’re that old, Matt Weiner.
- “There are pills you can take for that.” — Betty’s equally awful mother-in-law Pauline, summarizing the America of the past 50 years in a single sentence.
- Ugh, Betty calls Don when she gets the news that she may have cancer. He’s the first person she tells. Don breaks out his signature term of endearment for her: “Birdy.” The title of the episode is “Tea Leaves.” I think it’s clear that Matt Weiner is setting it up for the two of them to end up back in each other’s arms. Though it’s not exactly a surprise, this pisses me off because it just doesn’t seem plausible at this point — Don’s got a little French-Canadian f*ck bunny at home eager to satisfy his every whim. I don’t care about the bond he and Betty share because they had kids together. Too soon. And Betty sucks. Period.
Betty: “Say what you always say.” Don: “Everything’s going to be okay.” OMG GROSS RUN AWAY DON RUN FAR FAR AWAAAAY!
- “Between that and ‘It’s Always Darkest Before The Dawn’ Over There.” Roger Sterling may be the funniest, most loveable racist ever.
- Don looking miserable at a Rolling Stones concert reminded me of what I think I’d be like at a Skrillex show. Old. Very old.
- Henry hates Don so hard. He should be begging Don to take that decaying anchor with blond hair and tits of his off his hands.
- I know I wasn’t the only one hoping that Betty’s tumor would be malignant. Sadly, it’s benign. But I suppose there’s still hope that she’ll die in a fire, right? (Sorry, I just really hate Betty more than you probably do.)
- Not to get to spoiler-y, but a Mohawk Airlines plane crashed in 1967. I have a feeling we’ll get a glimpse into how SCDP handles damage control in the near future.
- No Joan?!?! Not cool, Matt Weiner. Not cool. Also, can her dumb doctor husband hurry up and die in Vietnam so she and Roger can start f*cking again?
-Did you catch Henry referring to Mitt Romney’s father — who was running for president at the time — as a “clown.” Nice burn, Matt Weiner!
-This episode was directed by Jon Hamm. As much as I want to say there was something about his direction that stood out to me, I can’t really recall anything that jumps out.
- By far my favorite moment of the show was Don and a stoned, White Castle devouring Harry sitting in Don’s car after the backstage with the Rolling Stones sh*tshow. That scene was kind of awesome.
- The episode goes to credits with Betty Draper eating a sundae and then finishing off Sally’s. That struck me as kind of perfect.
With that said, the person who contributes the best Betty Draper fat joke in the comments between now and 5pm eastern time today gets a free DVD of Mad Men season one or four, the most recent one. Winner’s choice.
UPDATE: Congrats to MykroftzerO for this winning fat Betty Draper Francis joke: “How many Sundaes are in January this year?”
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/41/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/tumblr_mn3o27QSAq1s5e5bko1_400-150x150.gif)
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/kencosgrove-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/bob-benson-coffee1-150x150.gif)
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/a_560x375-150x150.jpg)
QUESTION: Fat Suit, Baby Weight, or Combo?
I have a theory, but would like to know everyone’s thoughts first.
I just assumed that this was filmed either in the late stages of her pregnancy or right after she gave birth, but I suppose enhancements could have also been employed.
Supposedly it was a fat suit. I wish they would Mrs. Doubt-FIRE her.
I’m thinking combo. It had the classic fat suit look and feel. Too much double chin, not enough fatness in the rest of the face. But at the same time she still def rocking a little baby weight as well.
That pink moo moo house gown thing was the snuggie of the 60′s.
Also, was that a prothstetic nose? Look at these side by sides. Weird.
[amatteroftiming.tumblr.com]
I don’t know why I care so much but I do.
It’s a combo plus, at least twice they used a body double for her back, The bathtub body was definitely not hers. I’ve seen a picture or two of her after she had her baby and she didn’t gain much weight.
Betty Draper: “Man, Joan’s baby is never going to finish off those. Maybe she’ll give me a little taste…”
Betty Draper? More like Betty Crocker, amirite?!?!?
How many Sundaes are in January this year?
winner
Maske and I agree…I think we have our winner. Shoot me an email, Mycroftzer0, with an address preference to send the DVD to you: brett at uproxx dot com.
Man! Thanks, guys. Too kind.
Would have been great if Don said to Harry “You just ate 20 of those burgers, you’re gonna look like my ex-wife.”
I was kind of glad she didn’t have cancer- think of all the sympathy she would have been getting. Now, she’s just fat and nobody cares. Seriously though, why is she still a part of the show? There’s so many storylines going on that are actually meaningful and important, we really don’t need “housewife is getting older, fatter; feels unwanted” in there taking up valuable screen time. I genuinely think her and Don getting back together would be a show killer, or at the very least add a serious tarnish to the show’s reputation- I mean after everything that’s happened between them, it’s just unbelievable at this point. Unless Don suddenly realizes he’s into fat chicks (which could explain why he’s never seemed satisfied with one woman).
Also, no mention of Jackie Mason Jr there? Holy stereotypical Jewish comedian Batman!
I’m re-using my twitter joke from last night but, “It looks like Betty Draper ate January Jones’ ego”
//I share your hatred for her
//Also, I think Tea Leaves is more about the Generational Gap, but who knows
Agree on “tea leaves”. As Mr. Rowles pointed out last week the show is definitely highlighting the gen gap and it may be to Don’s demise.
Good point on tea leaves.
Betty Draper action figure: [www.toyqube.com]
“As much as I want to say there was something about his direction that stood out to me, I can’t really recall anything that jumps out.”
January Jones side-boob.
This ends Mama Cass-style, right?
Fat Betty ate paul kinsey and the other bobbies.
Sally Draper, yo mama so fat she sat on a dollar bill and it turned into four quarters. Now you can go buy another sundae. Then not eat it so yo mama can swallow it whole in a dark corner of your house and get even fattier. Fatty fat fat. Your mother is so goddamn fat, Salz.
This and the Dawn line were neck and neck for Rogerisms of the night for me…
He is a masterful racist.
As well as masterful sexist.
I know my comments are completely wasted on a site like Uproxx, but whether or not Betty is a likeable character fat shaming is immature pathetic and disgusting. People like you all are part of the reason 8 million Americans suffer from eating disorders, and why it’s the mental illness with the highest mortality rate. There are better things to critique about this show than a character’s weight. You all should be ashamed of yourselves.
“This person is a mean, cold hearted, uncaring, unsympathetic, and childish character. She also got fat.”
“STOP CALLING PEOPLE FAT!”
Being fat is a health risk. Shaming someone into being healthy is not evil.
That said, I hope Betty Draper eats so much explodes like in Monty Python’s Meaning of Life.
Betty Draper is an evil person. When bad things happen to evil people its funny. Its that simple.
Oh, yeah, because that’s exactly what you guys are doing. So mature and noble of you.
I think you think we hate her because she is fat. We hate her because she is a cunt. She happened to get fat which takes away ANY redeeming quality she had since she got by on her looks.
Stop calling Betty Draper a cunt. She has clearly evolved into a gunt.
Either that or they’re exploring the connection between obesity and depression. Or are you saying that all fat people are simply fat because they can’t stop eating cheetos? How shameful!
I heard Betty Draper went into a restaurant and ate everything in the restaurant and they had to close the restaurant.
…
Maske that picture makes me so happy. You have no idea.
Maske I have been singing that in my head since 10pm last night and now your photo will be etched in my mind forever.
I wish I could take credit. Can’t even find where I saw it now. Somewhere on Tumblr.
@EDSBS made that joke on twitter last night early on in the episode (first place I saw it)
Fat Betty brings some much-needed gravity to the show.
I fucking hate Betty Draper like I hate Skylar and Lori Grimes. What the hell is it with TV shows writing absolutely cunty women? I don’t hate women I swear!
Also if Don gets back with Betty and leaves hot ass awesome Megan I will punch everything.
She’s not fat, she’s cultivating mass.
Via RoboShark
17 months and two episodes – the Weight Is Over
This summer, Tracy Jordan stars as January Jones in “Fat Bitch Part 2:Electric Barbecue”
Betty Draper – the Weight Is Over
Betty Draper, Housewife, a woman barely alive. Gentlemen, we can rebuild her, we have the technology, we have the capability to build the world’s first fat robot. Betty Draper will be that robot. We can make her bigger than she was before; hungrier, bitchier, fatter.
The idea of a “Six Million Dollar Man.. who is also fat for some reason” has endless potential.
The only way Don is going back to Betty is if Meaghan eventually leaves him for a younger man, which could happen after a few years. No matter who Betty is with she’ll always be miserable and Don knows it. I wonder if Don’s aware of how she let herself go. I don’t like her character, but I feel bad for her, because looks was all that girl had going for her. She has no friends, her kids don’t like her, and she’s driving her husband – who really loves her, away. She ruins herself.
Right, I think its more likely Don leaves Megan for an older woman – someone like Dr. Faye Miller. He seems to vacillate between nymph-like lightweights like Megan or Beth Van de Camp or Sally’s teacher, and women that challenge him like the Bohemian, or Dr. Faye, or the Rachel Menken or Bobbi Barrett. The first two episodes have really highlighted the growing generation gap – between Don and Megan, between Don and fans of the Stones, between Don and culture. He’d be way more comfortable with someone his own age and I wonder if he’s starting to realize that.
I don’t think Don knows what Betty looks like now. In the previous episode they made a point of showing Don drop the kids off without going to the door.
Maybe my favorite part of the episode though was the subtle comedy in Don’s blatant refusal to even acknowledge Harry’s attempts at creating a friendship.
Harry: “That was fun Saturday night!”
Don: “OK.”
Yeah it was like a Step Dad that wanted nothing to do with the kid cause he already had the mom on lock.
And Harry got stoned and ate a sack of White Castle. Lovin some Harry lately.
Harry should be really getting a bigger and bigger role seeing how by this point TV has to be more important than print ads.
Verypunny I think in the 60s there were still way more magazines than TV channels. They had what? 4? 5? There is still more work put into print I think.
That has to be prosthetics, I mean geez, how many bastard kids did January Jones have and then deny who the father was? 7?
You could probably Draper over the couch.
I don’t see the generational gap being a downfall for Don in the sense that he can’t keep up. While he wasn’t enjoying being backstage at the Rolling Stones concert he also had an air of just not caring much to try anymore. To me, he was still clearly cool. Don’s lethargy will be his downfall, assuming that there is one.
I used to think I could see Pete becoming the next Don, but he’s just too desperate and petty to be in a position of high power, in my opinion. He’d be the type of person who leaves for another company (with a higher position within that company) and drives it to the ground by getting caught up in what he sees as slights against him.
Peggy is clearly the next Don, slowly becoming more bitter and jaded by the season. She’ll be telling clients why they should be listening to her and shutting the hell up by the end of the season.
And Pete’s turf war with Roger is going to be interesting because Pete, petty as he is, is not confident enough to leave SCDP, and (I’m assuming) they can’t write Roger out of the show, because he’s awesome. Although that could be the reason for Mohawk. They war over it, but it gives Roger something to do, and Pete can keep hunting down new clients.
She’s actually a mutant – Emma Frosting.
I wish Fat Better met John Doe from Seven and shoved all her problems out on his plate. She wasn’t even supposed to be in the show that much to begin with!
Betty. I can’t comment here without fucking up something.
Maybe they promised January Jones that they’d have more of her on screen this year and then cleverly realized how non-specific the promise had been.
I haven’t seen any really good Fat Betty gifs yet in the post. I can only assume this is because the file to do her justice would require one whose file size would crash the website.
I’m really hoping they let her start taking 60s diet pills and we get to see her race around all tweaked out, until Don calms her down like Zack Morris did Jesse Spano.
[cdn.tauntr.com].jpg
Here you go…
Well that didn’t work.
Me want food!
( [www.youtube.com] )
I would make a meme but im not talented
even by internet standards
I had no idea placenta could be so fattening.
You’d think with the fat she’d be more…idk..jolly? But she just comes off even more cunt-ish than she is already.
I think the Fat Betty story line is great! I’ll tell you more next time I sign in, I’ve got to go get a cookie! Really though, just give it a chance! I think she’s gonna hit those diet pills hard!
Tagline: “If there’s 3 things I love it’s Bugles, ice cream sundaes, and ATTENTION!”
I think the rest is, “…And I’m all out of ATTENTION.”
What’s a skrillex?
I’ll admit it. I’d do Fat Betty before thin Betty.
Everyone hates January Jones. Even the writers of Mad Men. The first episode she is in and they made her fat and gave her cancer. Luckily, her body ate the cancer.
I hate Betty too, but I hate her enough that I like the torque and problems that arise when she’s around.
Am I the only one that sees Carrie Underwood?