Help Send Pitbull To A Walmart In Desolate Alaska

Pitbull and Walmart: two of our least favorite things. The former, a “poor” man’s Will.i.am, will whore himself out for any product under the sun, while the latter would prefer for its employees to never see the sun again. THERE ARE BEACH CHAIRS TO BE LAID OUT. Now an online campaign is trying to send Pitbull to a middle-of-nowhere Walmart in the Land of the Midnight Sun.

A writer for the Boston Phoenix, David Thorpe, as well as Mr. @fart, Jon Hendren, both of whom really don’t like Pitbull, noticed that Walmart is running a campaign where — well, I’ll let Hendren explain it:

Where is Kodiak, Alaska?

One reviewer of the store on Google didn’t like that there’s an “age limit to buy paint and a air duster,” while another simply commented, “Titties.” Indeed. Anyway, on the page where Walmart’s Facebook fans are implored to enter their zip code for a performance, Pitbull is hawking Energy Sheets, “Place on tongue…energy for hours!” (FYI: Kodiak’s zip is 99550.) Soon, #ExilePitbull became a frequently used hashtag on Twitter:

Fans of the campaign, now spurned on by 9GAG, went to the Kodiak Walmart Facebook page, which surely confused the company’s social media managers:

And now, that one Walmart, in the middle of a frozen island in Alaska, has over 17,000 Facebook Likes. For comparison’s sake, the Walmart in my home town, which is ALWAYS packed, has only 406 Likes. Assuming Walmart doesn’t discontinue the campaign, it looks live a given that Pitbull will be in Alaska sometime in July. The only thing I’m worried about: if he actually goes, will I start liking him?

…on second thought, nope, still won’t.

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