Here’s what I imagine happened after Lindsay Lohan came home last night after a long day of shooting softcore porn for Bret Easton Ellis with her porn star co-star and to see the Democratic National Convention on TV.
Mom, where the f*ck is the remote? Mom? MOOOOOOOMMMMMM?! Are you blowing someone back there? If so I want to join in. Sh*t, where’s the damn remote? I don’t want to watch this crap. What’s our negro president talking about anyway? Oh, snap — you want to raise taxes on celebrities, black man? OH NO YOU DIDN’T! Where’s my phone? MOM!!!
And then an incomprehensible tweet was born. The end!
Also, Burnsy tipped me to my other favorite tweet from last night. It came from a right-wing congressman intending to blast former Florida Governor Charlie Crist — a moderate Republican — for speaking at the DNC.
Surely he’s going to hell for this, right? One letter makes all the difference in the world.