Do you have trouble pooping? Do you have hemorrhoids? Are you constipated? WELL MAYBE YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG?!?! Oh yeah — prepare to have your mind blown, people.
Reader JP tipped us to this video (Thanks, JP!) promoting Squatty Potty, a toilet accessory that helps to users to “overcome the effects of improper toilet posture” — and I was downright mesmerized by it. In the end I came away feeling as though my whole life has been a lie and that I’ll never be the same going forward. I’VE BEEN POOPING ALL WRONG! And so have you, probably.
This is just like the time a Sesame Street staffer confirmed to me that Bert & Ernie were indeed intended to be a secretly gay couple on the program. IT CHANGES EVERYTHING. Basically, the modern toilet is killing you because it prevents you from pooping the way human beings were meant to poop.
Sitting upright is not how nature intended us to poop, folks. You’ve got to squat when you eliminate, like this smiling broad…
The customer reviews on Amazon are glowing…
Love this stool for so many reasons. As some one who has had a long history of constipation, I have been using the squatty potty now for six months and the difference is almost miraculous! I have tried so many things over the years and who would have known how simple the solution could be.
I shudder to think what those “many things” are. Regardless, maybe you too should try a Squatty Potty? Or, you know, just put your feet up on a small stool in front of your toilet when you poop? A “stool stool,” if you will. You’re welcome!
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I’ve actually read about this way of poopin’ before. If it didnt look so stupid I would buy it. Similar to the 4 hour sleep cycles that scientists say were better for humans.
I prefer the padded version of the Squatty Potty, known as the Pottoman.
Better than the previous PSA using an ice cream machine.
Mind = Blown. Literally.
Just go poop outside if you’re supposed to squat.
How will I read Uproxx articles if I am uncomfortably squatting?
+1
It’s called ISP. Indian Shitting Position. Friend of mine swears by it, excerpt he perches with his feet on the lid. Yes, an Indian friend.
INDIAN Indian or Native American?
/Thass Raycess?
Dot. Not feather. THAT’S raycess!
Slurpee Indian. Not Casino.
This is no joke. I want camping one time and had to go in the woods. BEST. DUMP. EVER. I thought I’d never be able to experience that pleasure again. But now the Squatty Potty, I can squat to my heart’s content in the privacy of my own home — and without dry leaves tickling my anus. THANKS, SQUATTY POTTY!!
Fiber has consistently helped me poop like a pro.
Someone forgot to tell that girl to take down her white britches ‘fore she fills em full o’ shiiiatt
Thunder! THUNDER! THUNDERSHITS!
Needs more Sham-Wow guy.
Sounds like a load of shit to me….
Yeah the “Indian” style described above also applies to several Asian countries. When I used to work retail the girls who cleaned the women’s shitter always wondered why there were footprints and shoe marks on the toilet seats and just insane sprays of crap everywhere. Answer? Asian immigrants.
Now, MEXICAN immigrants will shit like decent Americans…but then they’ll throw the used poopy paper into the fucking TRASH CAN because apparently Mexican Sanitary Engineering is just as advanced as it sounds.
P.S.: One time at the store it was all males, so we sent the new guy to clean the women’s bathroom. He freaked out when he reached into the “little trashcan” and came up with a bloody tampon. Good times.
Went camping and a buddy tried to shit like this….he crapped in his pants that were around his ankles. I’ll stick with my fecal-impacting posture.
A t-shirt that says “Happy Colon: Happy Life” is now a must.
Squatty Potty? I’d have gone with “Stool stool”.
Clear Eyes. Full Colon. Can’t Poop.
“Love this stool,” heh.
Item is “currently unavailable” at amazon….. damnit!
I’m glad you’re open to this concept, but I’m afraid that you’ve been misled by the Squatty Potty company. Sitting with your feet propped up is not remotely the same as squatting. It has a slight benefit, but far less than the real thing. It also encourages people to give up on regaining their flexibility by really squatting.
Please have a look at this link which explains all about squatting and why it’s essential to do it properly, to gain the full benefits: [www.naturesplatform.com]